To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

[Monetm]

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

I’m not interested in VCM specifically I’m just saying it’s very unlikely, although possible it was a natural conception. Donor egg most likely followed by frozen embryo. There are stats from the 20s onwards showing age at last child, rates drop off a cliff after 40-45.

No problem. Just wanted confirmation I didn't say that as I'm always a bit confused at this hour. Lol.

Honestly I couldn’t think of anything worse. I think I’ll probably always be broody but I’m now 39 and feeling like I’m already too old to have any more. I’m lucky enough to have 2 children I had relatively young so my opinion may be different but my god those sleepless nights, running after a toddler and having to do school drop offs while 60 is my idea of hell.
You have to remember this isn’t about just having a baby - it’s about a toddler, then a school age child, then a teenager, a young adult etc. She’s going to be dropping her child off at primary school and be in her 60s. My mum is in her early 60s and she struggles to have the kids for a whole day, she’s shattered.
I’m sorry but I think it’s too old.

Would you rather just not have children than have a baby at 51?

I would rather not have children at all than to have a baby at 51. My cut off was 35, personally, as I didn't want to be an older mum.

Zero judgment for those that do, it just wouldn't be for me.

it was meant for @TheGander

On topic: I do have a shift spot for them. Personally think this is barmy,but if anyone can do it happily I'd guess it's them.
Off topic: I'd never read an ok article before,did anyone else notice the but at the bottom that says AI helped write it. Is that common already?!?

Just to add: most people on here are pleased for VC because that is obviously what she wants. But op asked if we were envious so most of us have commented about our own personal relationship to the idea of very late motherhood. It isn’t about the rights or wrongs of it just whether we would want to do it or not. The thought of it makes me shudder so I am going to stop wasting time on MN and get on with my day. Love to you all.

I had a friend who had a baby at 49. After she had perimenopause chemically reversed (her menopausal womb could not have retained a pregnancy) she bought a younger couple’s embryo at a foreign clinic

@CharlieBigPotatoes1 a little defensive there, aren't we? I know that this can be a touchy subject.

Nowhere in my post did I say that anyone should listen to me. I was simply expressing my opinion, or is that not allowed unless I agree with yours?

Having elderly parents with care needs is still a mental load even if it’s not you doing the physical caring. You don’t just stick the, in a home and forget about them.

Envious? Having considered it. No. For me it would feel very very weird and just not right at all.

It would just be very confusing.

But I'm not her so hey.

That sounds like a your parents thing though rather than a particular age thing. I was 39 and 41 when I had my children and I talked to them about periods, porn, drugs etc. My kids had their friends round. I would never expect them to look after me, I'm still going out learning new things and focusing on my life while still supporting both of them now they're both young adults. I have always kept myself fit as part of being well for them.

I can imagine Victoria and David Mitchell's home would be a haven for young people. Neither of them seem the fuddy duddy type. I bet they've got tons of friends at all ages.

Incidentally my mother had me at 30 and she was very much like you describe your parents were (apart from looking like grandparents) - it was a her thing not an age thing.

Same here @Scalottia before people get giddy with “ isn’t it marvellous a kid at 51” I just wanted to lay out facts about the likelihood of a natural conception at 51 but it seems that is judgemental and misogynistic for some. FWIW I think old/ very old dads like Mike jagger are somewhat ridiculous but in those cases due to biology they usually have 1 much younger parent, the mother.

It does rather contribute to the narrative of anyone can have a baby if they really want one.

I had my last at 43 and that was old enough. At 55, I really do think about not being around to see all her milestones. It is hard dealing with teenagers in your 50's and I have probably less patience! Cannot imagine that in your 60's and beyond. So no. I wouldn't want this.

Women older than 50 get pregnant naturally - it used to be very common before reliable contraception.

Even nowadays many think that they are through the menopause, but aren't quite, stop taking the pill (or whatever) and fall pregnant. These days it is unusual, but not unheard of. I think women are advised to continue contraception until 2 years after their last period (that's what I was told 20 years ago, anyway).

Risks to the foetus and the mother are increased, though.

I'm not envious at all. We don't and can't live forever, i wouldn't really want to be an older mum, with kids who only know their grandparents as very frail elderly people.

While most women of 50 can't conceive a child, some can and its possible Victoria is one of those. The midwife who delivered my youngest son years ago told me she had recently delivered a baby from a mother of 51. Natural pregnancy, the mother had mistaken it for the menopause initially.

Women older than 50 get pregnant naturally - it used to be very common before reliable contraception.

It has never been "very common" for women over 50 to fall pregnant.

It happens. Of course. It is not and never has been "very common".

Two years?! Didn't know that. Well well!

There is a lot of anecdata on this thread and not enough understanding of statistics.

Statistically having children later in life means that there are higher risks for both mother and child, and a higher risk that the parents will die while their offspring is/are reasonably young.

As the child of older parents I lost my parents at a relatively young age. They never became grandparents during their lifetime. Having said that I didn't have to deal with ageing parents while bringing up my offspring.

It used to be very common for women to not live long enough to reach menopause - death in childbirth or infectious diseases.

Far too old IMO. But let’s be honest, it’ll probably be brought up by someone half her age. It’s not as if these celebs change nappies or experience sleepless nights is it? They pay someone to do that for them.

I’m 43 single and want more children so it’s great to see :)

Did these women also have teen daughters or nieces that disappeared to another town for a couple of months before returning?