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Original poster

To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

598 replies

Monetm · 01/11/2023 21:57

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

Victoria Coren Mitchell, 51, gives birth to second child with David Mitchell

Only Connect presenter Victoria Coren Mitchell has welcomed her second child with comedian David Mitchell, and the couple announced the happy news on social media earlier today

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

OP posts:
TheGander · 02/11/2023 07:52

Maybe, but also a desire to project a youthfulness and fertility which just isn’t the case.

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 07:52

TheGander · 02/11/2023 07:52

Maybe, but also a desire to project a youthfulness and fertility which just isn’t the case.

So what. You do you.

Scalottia · 02/11/2023 07:54

'Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?'

I personally can't wait until the end of my fertility, that will be a relief.

40s onwards is too old for having babies.

Alwaysdieting · 02/11/2023 07:54

Good luck to her. Idont think its selfish. Years ago women where having children in their late 40s early 50s. I always wished I could have had another baby in my mid 40s, but that wasnt to be.
I expect that baby will be loved like crazy.

willWillSmithsmith · 02/11/2023 07:55

MsRosley · 02/11/2023 07:40

You might be able to delay childbirth, but you can't stop aging (except on the outside, with cosmetic surgery). I'd be really worried about burdening a child with ill and older parents at much too young an age to be able to deal with it.

I doubt their kids will be burdened with having to care for them. There’s plenty of money in their pot for professional care if it’s needed.

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 07:55

Scalottia · 02/11/2023 07:54

'Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?'

I personally can't wait until the end of my fertility, that will be a relief.

40s onwards is too old for having babies.

Good job we don’t have to listen to you then, isn’t it?

Carmargo · 02/11/2023 07:55

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 07:49

Probably because it’s nobody else’s business?

Show quote history

Agreed It's nobody else's business as regards the specifics of Victoria C-M's situation but I am interested as to how 50-year-old women get pregnant generally speaking.

I thought it was nigh on impossible naturally.

That's reasonable to ask I think.

Don't expect them to comment on their specific situation!

PinkRoses1245 · 02/11/2023 07:56

I think it really unhelpful to others - she’s clearly got very very lucky wit IVF which is so unlikely to work at that age.

FreddysSquishyBollock · 02/11/2023 07:56

My own mum died at 54, so I would personally never consider a baby in your 50s as a viable option for a happy family (and at 47 I would LOVE another baby but it’s not about my desires, it’s about an entire family unit).

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 07:57

Carmargo · 02/11/2023 07:55

Agreed It's nobody else's business as regards the specifics of Victoria C-M's situation but I am interested as to how 50-year-old women get pregnant generally speaking.

I thought it was nigh on impossible naturally.

That's reasonable to ask I think.

Don't expect them to comment on their specific situation!

Show quote history

That’s not what you originally said, though. You’re backtracking, rather.

Furthermore I think there is sometimes disingenuousness from older couples who conceive via fertility clinics , they’re happy to let people believe it happened naturally when it didn’t. I know if at least 1 such case

Trixiefirecracker · 02/11/2023 07:57

Good for her! I had my babies later on and I lived a life before them. Lots of travelling, working, fun and festivals. I am so glad I did it this way round. I’m not as old as her but I was in my 40s when I had my last child. There’s lots of judgement on here about older mothers, sad to see.

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 07:59

PinkRoses1245 · 02/11/2023 07:56

I think it really unhelpful to others - she’s clearly got very very lucky wit IVF which is so unlikely to work at that age.

presumably she hasn’t done it for anyone else so I’m not sure of your point?

FloweryName · 02/11/2023 07:59

OP your posts are all about how it would be great for women if they could have children later in life. No consideration at all for the children who come from those geriatric pregnancies.

It is selfish to have children at that age. Children have more right to have parents that aren’t pensioners while they’re still in education than women do to have babies in their late forties or early fifties.

I have family who are in the position of having pre school ages children as well as elderly parents. It is very difficult for them to see their children missing out on active healthy grandparents and it is hard for them to be supportive adult sons and daughters at the same time as working and being good parents. I can’t see why anyone would wish that on their children.

Ramalangadingdong · 02/11/2023 07:59

Monetm · 01/11/2023 23:37

But you are apparently…

Show quote history

No she’s not. She makes a reasonable point. What do you want us to say?

I am not envious of VC in the least even though I have no children and did want them at one point.

I was my best friend’s birth partner. She was single and had her only child in her early forties and that really put me off any ideas I had about late motherhood. She was extremely fit and healthy at the time but it took a toll on her physical and mental health and I don’t think she has ever recovered. Let alone doing it at 51. No way.

Carmargo · 02/11/2023 08:00

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 07:57

That’s not what you originally said, though. You’re backtracking, rather.

Furthermore I think there is sometimes disingenuousness from older couples who conceive via fertility clinics , they’re happy to let people believe it happened naturally when it didn’t. I know if at least 1 such case

Show quote history

That wasn't me.

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 08:00

Trixiefirecracker · 02/11/2023 07:57

Good for her! I had my babies later on and I lived a life before them. Lots of travelling, working, fun and festivals. I am so glad I did it this way round. I’m not as old as her but I was in my 40s when I had my last child. There’s lots of judgement on here about older mothers, sad to see.

Mostly from folk who have no experience of having a baby in late 40s or 50s. This is Mumsnet though. Everyone’s an expert!

CornishGem1975 · 02/11/2023 08:01

FreddysSquishyBollock · 02/11/2023 07:56

My own mum died at 54, so I would personally never consider a baby in your 50s as a viable option for a happy family (and at 47 I would LOVE another baby but it’s not about my desires, it’s about an entire family unit).

Parents can die at any age. My best friends mum died at 30.

KingsleyBorder · 02/11/2023 08:01

Carmargo · 02/11/2023 07:55

Agreed It's nobody else's business as regards the specifics of Victoria C-M's situation but I am interested as to how 50-year-old women get pregnant generally speaking.

I thought it was nigh on impossible naturally.

That's reasonable to ask I think.

Don't expect them to comment on their specific situation!

Show quote history

Well, there are a few possibilities:

  1. Extremely lucky conception in normal way, have sex, sperm meets egg.
  2. IVF with own eggs harvested fresh (possible but not sure doctors would even recommend trying that 51, mine were on their last gasp at 42).
  3. Eggs harvested when younger, frozen and fertilised for this pregnancy
  4. Embryo created when younger and defrosted and transferred recently.
  5. IVF with donor egg

I am not going to comment on VCM in particular but those are the possibilities. My understanding is that it’s not too difficult for a reasonably healthy 50 year old to carry a baby, it’s the conception bit that is hard.

jippy2s · 02/11/2023 08:01

People keep saying years ago 50s was normal, do we have any actual stats on that? I accept births in all age groups were potentially higher pre birth control, but the way some people are talking here you'd think babies post 50 were in prolific numbers, I very much doubt it was common or normal, we know fertility drops and chances of miscarriage and genetic issues hugely increase post 40s. There will always be the outliers, but I'm sure it was still pretty unusual for women to have healthy babies 50+ at all points in time. Unless anyone has any actual evidence beyond "my auntie's cousin's dog did our family history and found..."

Sartre · 02/11/2023 08:01

It isn’t natural to have children this late hence menopause which she surely mustn’t be far off. I can’t imagine going through the menopause with a very young child to take care of. I definitely don’t envy this situation, definitely would not want to worry about breastfeeding and waking up every 2 hours in my 50s.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 02/11/2023 08:02

I think it's fine to admit a pang of envy.
I wish I had had another child (I have one and very grateful for her). I wish I hadn't been knocked into menopause by cancer treatment. I wish I wasn't single. And unreasonable or not, I wish Victoria was one and done smithereens some others more articulate than me have mentioned upthread - it felt like she was one of us.
All that said, I am 50 next year and the thought of a newborn now...no thanks Victoria looks way younger and more spritely though.

Sartre · 02/11/2023 08:03

jippy2s · 02/11/2023 08:01

People keep saying years ago 50s was normal, do we have any actual stats on that? I accept births in all age groups were potentially higher pre birth control, but the way some people are talking here you'd think babies post 50 were in prolific numbers, I very much doubt it was common or normal, we know fertility drops and chances of miscarriage and genetic issues hugely increase post 40s. There will always be the outliers, but I'm sure it was still pretty unusual for women to have healthy babies 50+ at all points in time. Unless anyone has any actual evidence beyond "my auntie's cousin's dog did our family history and found..."

It wasn’t and isn’t normal. It was always normal and usual to have children very young when life expectancy was low because obviously you wouldn’t get another shot… It’s gradually increased since women started going to work and with the introduction of the pill post 1960s. Never been higher than it is right now. 51 is still a very old Mum though.

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 02/11/2023 08:03

Apologies @Carmargo

Vikina · 02/11/2023 08:04

As someone who had older parents, no, I'm not envious. It's not a popular view on here but I definitely lost out compared to friends with younger parents who still have their mums.

EmpressSoleil · 02/11/2023 08:04

I had DC in my early 20’s so now I’m my 50’s, they’re in their 30s. There’s so much we do together that I wouldn’t be doing if I was in my 80s! I won’t say they’re selfish to have a baby at this age but it will hit them as they get older that there is a lot of life they’ll miss out on with their DCs by having them so late. Likewise their DC will also likely lose their parents at a relatively young age.

I’m sure they’ll be great parents but money doesn’t replace time.