To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

[Monetm]

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

Exactly.

Misogynism at its best on mumsnet.

So what if half or more of the posters here wouldn't want a child at 51?

You live your lives.

Leave others to make their own choices.

Not all women of 51 are decrepit - which is the ageist sub-text here.

I wanted children but couldn’t have them. I’ve built a great life without children and now think of myself as childfree.

This is about the worst thing I could think of, I would have hated to have parents that old as a child - especially once you get to the teen years. When the child is 13 Victoria will be 64, I would also have spent a lot of time worrying about the possibility of them dying.

To me it is incredibly selfish, they already have an older child.

I had my children in my early forties. I’m early sixties now and health and energy wise I could easily look after and raise a baby at my age but I just wouldn’t want to.

Good luck to them though, they have the financial resources to make life with a baby pretty smooth going. They don’t look or act too old mentally or physically so I’m sure the kids won’t feel like their parents are more like grandparents.

Some of the fertility things that goes around are just misconceptions. There are more women in the world able to have healthy children in their early 50 than not.

Happy for her and it’s nice for he but zero envy. I am 35 with a 5 month old and a toddler, i am very very tired. Cannot imagine doing it in 15 years. I envy 21 year olds who do it as I had so much more energy then.

There are more women in the world able to have healthy children in their early 50 than not.

Really? Have you got some evidence for that?

I wish them all the best. I don't think it's any of my business how the baby was conceived or whatever else.

Would I want it? Noooooooooooo. I'm not yet 40, with preschoolers, and when a friend my age with a 7 and 9 year old announced that she was pregnant with a third "hoping for a little girl" I had to go lie down in a dark room for a bit. Not for all the tea in China. It's not so much my physical age at the moment (yet?), it's the thought of going back to giving birth, night feeds, nappies, weaning, all the illnesses they pick up and share.

I have to add though that a good friend had her first at 49/50, a surprise baby after a very long fertility journey, and that little one is growing up with wonderfully engaged parents, lots of love, energy, friends etc. Probably not how I would be at 50!

100% agree. Intelligent well educated parents who are financially secure and who love and respect each other.

I don't think it's selfish at all and while as an outsider I do very much think the child will be well loved but how on earth did this happen naturally? If it did, that is.

Genuine question.

How does a 50-year-old woman get pregnant? No snarky answers please.

Other way around for me, it was not being able to have children that made me realise there is more to life than work and I took early retirement at the age of 58 on a decent pension which I probably would not have been in a position to do had I had children young and taken maternity/career breaks. I’m actually thankful I didn’t have a late pregnancy, my mother had dementia by the time I was 50 (she had me at 38) and it would have been extremely hard trying to care for her and a baby. And the baby would never have known her as a healthy grandparent.I honesty feel things have worked out for the best.

Freezing eggs or a donor egg

You might be able to delay childbirth, but you can't stop aging (except on the outside, with cosmetic surgery). I'd be really worried about burdening a child with ill and older parents at much too young an age to be able to deal with it.

Again no ethical or moral judgement but how exactly? Thought fertility was gone by this age.

Absolutely this. Some very judgemental people on this thread. Just because you’re old and knackered and look old doesn’t mean everyone is the same.

Any obstetrician knows that’s just not true. It’s highly likely she had ivf and probably egg donation. Look at maternal age at last babies before all the medical technology was available. It wasn’t 50. More like late 30s/ 40 ish.

Completely untrue.

@KimberleyClark i had my last at 40 and dad developed dementia 5 years later, the care fell in me because mum died in her 50s and my bro has lifelong mental illness. It was horrendous.

Agreed. It's more of a how exactly for me.
Their kid won't want for anything.

Furthermore I think there is sometimes disingenuousness from older couples who conceive via fertility clinics , they’re happy to let people believe it happened naturally when it didn’t. I know if at least 1 such case.

I don't think it's fair to call it selfish.

My mother was in her mid-40s when I was born - and she was always an active, interested, and absolutely brilliant mum. I'm now 50 and she's still well (in her mid-90s and very active). She's constantly checking up on me and the gc's and doing things for us.

However, I do agree that the prospect of being 61 with a ten-year sends cold chills down my spine!

There are quite a few women who are able to have babies late 40s/ early 50s, naturally (my last one arrived just before my 48th birthday). It can and does happen.

Would most women plan to do this? Probably not, there are many advantages to having babies younger, and you can't bank on still being fertile as the years go by.

Many women use contraception to avoid having a baby later on and quite a few would choose a termination if contraception failed.

Is it reasonable to try and have a much wanted baby later in life that you can love and support well? I think so, yes.

I think it's a case of you do yours.

Probably because it’s nobody else’s business?

I bet it was ivf so the Dr could choose the healthiest egg and sperm, reducing the chances of chromosomal disorders. Women in their 40s are significantly more likely to have a foetus with chromasomal disorders than a woman in her 20s or early 30s.

Tiredness isn't the main reason why it's not great to be older parents. Children of older parents are more likely to have learning difficulties and disabilities than children born to younger parents due to poor quality of sperm and egg.

People are living longer and staying healthier for longer, too. By the time this child is university age, she will only be 70, so I don't really see the big deal. As long as she looks after herself and doesn't become a burden, which I am pretty sure she won't. I meant - look at her!