… to be mad at ill colleague?

[Rewindthefilm]

A colleague who ALWAYS comes in to work even when badly ill only to moan about being ill and touches every work surface going and leaves their food and drink all over the place insisted on being in work before half term started for all of us. I was sympathetic but kept my distance. However I have clearly ended up catching their horrible cold and it is wrecking my half term- I have had to cancel a few plans with friends because I don’t feel great and don’t want to risk them catching anything and I’m lacking the focus to even sit and read at home. So it feels like half a week wasted already. On top of this, I’m pregnant and having spoken to a pharmacist and midwife, there’s loads of cough medicines I can’t have. The colleague doesn’t know I’m pregnant as I haven’t said, but surely that’s not the only reason you should be mindful of others when ill, right?

I feel like I’ve been robbed of my downtime because my colleague was selfish. They have a martyr complex that many others have noted- definitely isn’t the first time they have come in when quite ill, complained about how bad they’ve felt and then been oblivious to how germs spread by not cleaning up after themselves or observing personal space.

Of course I won’t go into work next week and accuse them of ruining half term or be unprofessional towards them but AIBU for feeling mad towards them right now?

YANBU and it is annoying when people do this. But she can't be responsible for not knowing about your pregnancy when you haven't told her.

YANBU and as this is a regular occurrence with said colleague, you should raise it with HR. HR should be sending a notice out regarding people attending the office while ill. Have we learned nothing from covid?!!

By the way, the fact that you are pregnant is irrelevant - this colleague should not be attending the workplace if they are that unwell and spreading their germs everywhere.

YANBU I hate people speading their sickness germs. But I also remember working in an office, where the bosses would all come in when they were sick and sick days were completely frowned upon. I remember sitting there with a horrific cold once, filling my paper bin to the top with tissues, I looked and felt like death warmed up. I'd said to my boss that I'd just get my urgent work done, which would take an hour, then I'd go home. And she said "No you won't, we need you in" I felt bad that my colleagues might catch it, but I just had to plough through.

You're pregnant and have a cold 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I sympathise but I suppose it depends on the sickness policy where you work.

If you just get SSP maybe your colleague can't afford that. Or if you get full pay but face disciplinary action after a certain point then maybe they're afraid of consequences.

I'm lucky that I can work from home if I have a cold etc however if I couldn't then I wouldnt be able to take sick leave every time I have the sniffles because I'd probably lose my job eventually.

YANBU! Nothing worse than the work martyrs who brag about never having had a sick day whilst coughing and infecting everyone with their germs. Just stay at bloody home! I’m currently in bed with Covid thanks to one of these selfish fuckers.

There are colds flying around left right and centre at the moment, just as there always is at this time of year.

You haven't mentioned whether the colleague could have worked from home though? This is very relevant.

Coming in to work when sick is so, so selfish. The vast majority of us do not need to force ourselves into work at any cost when sick, the company will not implode. It's martyr-ish and self-absorbed. I especially can't stand when people seem to take a sort of pride in coming in sick, making comments like "if my legs work, I'm coming in to work". Like... good for you but what about everyone else who is now going to come into contact with your germs?! Illness affects people differently, too. What is mild and harmless for one person can be serious for another. So selfish.

@zelda10 get well soon!

YANBU and next time they do it you can ask them to keep their distance.

I can’t stand it when ill colleagues drag themselves into work and make everyone else sick, but more often than not it’s the result of a presenteeism office culture which demands staff come in unless they’re literally at death’s door and punishes them for being unwell with docked pay and/or disciplinary action. If yours isn’t one of those companies than YANBU.

@WhateverMate we work in a school so no chance of WFH. Totally understand no-one can outrun a common cold but I just think they either should have maintained basic hygiene (leaving dirty stuff everywhere and not washing hands, ick) and kept their distance if they’d insisted on coming in. But they were too ill to work and made sure everyone knew it!

You say it's wrecking your half-term.

Does this mean you're a teacher/TA?

Because if so, you literally could've caught it from anyone in that school and also, most SLTs don't take too kindly to their staff ringing in with a cold.

X posted, sorry.

Yes they should be more hygienic although I'm sure you also kept away from them and sanitized your hands and workspace, which didn't stop you catching it.

But I don't think you should be berating staff for going to work ill, when the SLT leaves them little choice.

@Guiltyfeethavegotnorhythm0 correct 😆tbh being pregnant was just another detail to add to why I feel mad. I don’t expect special treatment and I haven’t told them anyway. Just thought it would be decent to not wipe a drippy nose on tissue that then leave it about in shared spaces, all the while moaning they are ill!

No one should be going into work when badly ill. But a common cold doesn't usually render people unable to work.
That said, if you do go to work with a cold (like most of us do) then it's good practice to be extra vigilant with your hygiene. Leaving food and drink lying about is shabby, why are they doing that?

You are probably feeling it worse because you are pregnant (congratulations).

Yuk! I hope you actually pulled them up on this?

If not, speak to your line manager and get them to send a reminder out.

That's gross and I would certainly tell them to put it in the bin.

I blamed my boss for giving me his cold.
We both WFH 12 miles apart 😃
In fact it was my teenager. He was wiped out for a couple of days. I'm on week 2 of the snots. Little sod.

I don't blame you at all for being annoyed, but the real problem is management not enforcing guidelines, and then you get these martyr types trying to lord it over everyone else and acting as if the place of work falls apart without them!🙄
They are usually nowhere near as ill in themselves as they claim, but then spread everything to everyone else and some of us with weaker or compromised immune systems end up really ill!😡

You work in a school, there's infectious people everywhere with all sorts of things. Working in a school you'll know the impact of being off, funding and setting cover.

Yes, but if her colleague wasn't a complete twat she'd be pregnant and wouldn't have a cold, which I think we can all agree is preferable.

It's fucking annoying when someone else's unnecessary actions have a negative impact on other people, regardless of pregnancy.

@WhateverMate totally appreciate it could have been from anyone but my symptoms are the same as theirs, which is veering towards chest infection rather than a cold. Being in the same dept, we cross a lot. Most of us do Dettol spaces where we eat but they do not, and we also keep space when talking to each other, cover mouths when coughing etc but they do not. As someone mentioned earlier, some have learnt nothing from covid. I know some schools can be toxic about taking days off. Luckily our school is not one of those places and more than one of us had suggested this colleague go home and we would sort cover!

All these MNetters who expect their colleagues not to come in with a cold when they can't work from home are quite strange.

Do they honestly think them not catching a cold is more important than their colleagues eventually losing their jobs, and possibly their homes?

Most employers are simply NOT ok with staff phoning in sick because they've got a cold.

Christ, if we all did that everything would grind to a halt and we'd all be out of work.