… to be mad at ill colleague?

[Rewindthefilm]

A colleague who ALWAYS comes in to work even when badly ill only to moan about being ill and touches every work surface going and leaves their food and drink all over the place insisted on being in work before half term started for all of us. I was sympathetic but kept my distance. However I have clearly ended up catching their horrible cold and it is wrecking my half term- I have had to cancel a few plans with friends because I don’t feel great and don’t want to risk them catching anything and I’m lacking the focus to even sit and read at home. So it feels like half a week wasted already. On top of this, I’m pregnant and having spoken to a pharmacist and midwife, there’s loads of cough medicines I can’t have. The colleague doesn’t know I’m pregnant as I haven’t said, but surely that’s not the only reason you should be mindful of others when ill, right?

I feel like I’ve been robbed of my downtime because my colleague was selfish. They have a martyr complex that many others have noted- definitely isn’t the first time they have come in when quite ill, complained about how bad they’ve felt and then been oblivious to how germs spread by not cleaning up after themselves or observing personal space.

Of course I won’t go into work next week and accuse them of ruining half term or be unprofessional towards them but AIBU for feeling mad towards them right now?

@CharlotteBog they did! They saw the colleague when we were speaking to them and told them to go home. In a school, you can go the whole day without encountering senior management.

I feel like I live on a different planet to MNers. Since when don't you go into work with a cold? In my world (not that I like it this way) if you can walk/talk, you go into work.

We have this with one of my colleagues. Spends the entire shift complaining how ill she is, but refusing to go home. And inflict her bad mood on the rest of us.

Colds are a part of life 🤷🏻‍♀️ Christ, what has Covid done to some people?!

I mean do you think the majority of people who come in with colds do so for the absolute love of the job? Because they’d far rather be treading the office carpet tiles than curled up in bed?

No. It’s because money. And pressure. And employers who don’t get it.

I would be annoyed too.

At the same time, this colleagues behaviour does suggest that some issues to me. Maybe, this is a colleague who feels unable to turn off, even when warranted. Are they an under-performer and thus feel that they don’t deserve the time out? Does this colleague need to prove that they are a hard worker and dedicated to the cause? Maybe you don’t know, as you are not in on their 1-1’s or appraisals. Maybe they are scared of losing their job and have considerable pressure at home / financially?

The Martyr syndrome you sort-of acknowledge, may be coming from a place of anxiety or insecurity.

Unless your work sickness policy allows you to stay off for every slight illness then people will come in. You have no idea whether this illness came from her you could of picked it up from anywhere. Who knows maybe she got it from someone else in work should she then get in a mood with them? Sorry unless your gonna live like lockdown you have the risk of picking up germs wherever you are. Imagine how it is for teachers , doctors etc ??!!

Are your employers REALLY, like genuinely ok with people being off with a cold? If they really really are, then yes your colleague should have stayed home, but if not then, if she doesn't feel bad, in is where she should be. Plus I very much doubt all the parents keep their kids off for every sniffle.