… to be mad at ill colleague?

[Rewindthefilm]

A colleague who ALWAYS comes in to work even when badly ill only to moan about being ill and touches every work surface going and leaves their food and drink all over the place insisted on being in work before half term started for all of us. I was sympathetic but kept my distance. However I have clearly ended up catching their horrible cold and it is wrecking my half term- I have had to cancel a few plans with friends because I don’t feel great and don’t want to risk them catching anything and I’m lacking the focus to even sit and read at home. So it feels like half a week wasted already. On top of this, I’m pregnant and having spoken to a pharmacist and midwife, there’s loads of cough medicines I can’t have. The colleague doesn’t know I’m pregnant as I haven’t said, but surely that’s not the only reason you should be mindful of others when ill, right?

I feel like I’ve been robbed of my downtime because my colleague was selfish. They have a martyr complex that many others have noted- definitely isn’t the first time they have come in when quite ill, complained about how bad they’ve felt and then been oblivious to how germs spread by not cleaning up after themselves or observing personal space.

Of course I won’t go into work next week and accuse them of ruining half term or be unprofessional towards them but AIBU for feeling mad towards them right now?

Get signed off for a few days next week, so you can fully recover.

Rubbish, the OP does not know who she caught a cold from in a school with literally hundreds of people.

Having said that, the OP needs to report the snotty tissues etc being left around.

to be honest, most people can’t afford to not go into work when they have a cold. Where I work we don’t get paid sick at all so if you are off unwell your pay is docked unless you use holidays. I imagine it’s the same with a lot of places.

I don't blame you. My manager has three young kids and is constantly dragging their germs into the office. We are fed up
and most have resumed masking.

You work in a school, surely lots of the kids have colds too.
Rank leaving snotty tissues everywhere though.

OP, when your own child starts nursery and brings home bug after bug, are you going to phone in sick every single time they pass it onto you?

How would your school manage if all teachers rang in with a cold?

You're only being unreasonable not to raise it with your manager.

I would agree that a lot of people would typically be expected to work with a cold, but there are bog-standard colds and there are awful colds, and the OP's follow up posts suggest the employee has more than a bit of a sniffle. A cold can be three days of a snotty nose or it can be a week of fever, sinus pain, a painfully scabby throat, headache and a hacking cough.

The OP does say in her follow up posts that she understands people need to come in with a cold sometimes but it's more the lack of hygiene that's the problem. Yes, people might need to come in with a bit of a cold - but there's no excuse for leaving snotty tissues lying around and touching everything with hands you've just sneezed into, etc.

I’m pretty sure that, if you’re sick during holiday, you can tell your employer and they will put you down as sick instead and you can use the annual leave days at another time. I don’t know if schools do that, but worth asking? Then at least you can have the days back when the weather isn’t so rubbish.

Definitely not in a school 🙈

Luckily our school is not one of those places and more than one of us had suggested this colleague go home and we would sort cover!

Is that an official policy? I presume you have a sick leave policy ie. number of days allowed before bells start ringing. Would it still count as a days sick leave if colleagues tell someone to go home, or does it need to come from management.

The woman's a grown adult so she gets to decide if she's well enough to work, which is exactly what she did.

The ONLY issue here is her lack of consideration for her colleagues when it comes to sanitization etc.

@Hercisback yep. Need quite a few periods of illness in a very short space of time to trigger an attendance meeting so quite a few opportunities to be off to recover properly and we have a ready printed booklet to set for cover. Everyone’s staffing budget is in the red since covid. Rather than create a domino effect, take yourself out of the system and be ill at home. It was more than a case of the sniffles.

At the very least, this colleague needs to be spoken to about their hygiene and infection control management!
Even Nursery and Reception children should be disposing of their own tissues (with reminders) without adults having to touch them, let alone adults working in a school!

it's annoying but TBH we all catch colds from other people being around us when ill, it's a part of life.

I think having a friend come round and not let you know they're ill is selfish, but sharing a workplace or public transport or any other public space with people who are sick is just one of those things.

I'm afraid I voted you are BU because, you could literally have picked up this cold from anywhere. Just because the symptoms are the same as your colleagues, and she wasn't very hygienic, it doesn't mean to say that it was her that you got it from. For example, the person that SHE got it from, could still have been in the school and have touched any door handle after having just blown their nose on a tissue, but not washed their hands, you then touched the same door handle, and voila!! The rest as they say is history! Personally though, I blame it all on the stupid attitude of employers who have put pressure on staff throughout the decades to come into work no matter how ill they are. My DH used to be a coach driver, he was forced to go into work however rough he felt, as he was under threat of the sack if he didn't, imagine the number of people who's holidays he ruined by passing on his germs??

If you're able to reasonably work from home in such cases then you should but I appreciate it's not feasible for everyone depending on your job. There are definitely situations in that case where you're under the weather but not ill enough to take sick leave.

On another situation, we have a mandatory 2 days out of 5 in the office now and I think the threat of disciplinary if it's not adhered to is frightening some people into the bad habit of coming in. Pre covid, they'd have WFH without any hesitation. I've got a rotten cold myself this week and I've told my boss I won't be coming in to share my germs so not to be surprised when I'm on the "naughty list" that HR send around.

If this is the case why didn't SLT make her go home?

Are the children at your school expected to have time off if they have a cold?

YANBU and I feel this sort of forcing yourself in when ill is getting worse and worse. I don’t know why people do it! It’s like we feel guilty for being out of action but it’s ridiculous. I had hoped covid would put an end to it- that’s the thing aswell now actually I think it’s possible people will go in if they have covid and to put it bluntly that puts people like you really at risk. Could you and some colleagues put together an anonymous note to HR asking them to reinforce please stay home if ill, covid is still circulating and may be serious for some staff sort of thing. If I were you I would probably get a sick note now which would at least nullify my annual leave that I had taken for this week - means you can take it at a later date and actually use the time. I am not in the UK though so depends on your policies etc but I would conserve my holiday. I would see if I could discreetly ask HR to lightly intervene aswell; I cannot stand it when I see parents dropping their coughing kids off at nursery. There are days when I say we won’t come today if I see that because actually yes I gain that day to myself but I lose the following 5!!! X

@CharlotteBog management was with us when we suggested they go home and we deal with their day. We felt it was better than making them feel they had to stay.

Then tell her to not do that!

Give her a bag and tell her to use if for her snotty tissues and to stop being so disgusting.

Get a hand sanitizer and hand that to her as well.

I couldn't watch that and not say something

Depends what you mean by ill, to be honest. At my company it would be frowned up to take time off for a cold - you can’t blame the employees for not wanting to piss off their boss.
Same for places that only pay minimum sick pay, don’t blame the employee, they might not be able to afford the pay cut.

I’m lucky to be able to WFH, but some other teams can’t so it is either come to the office or take the day off.

Luckily one was there when a few of us suggested they go home and they supported it. SLT aren’t psychic and don’t see every single member of staff so they wouldn’t know to make that decision unless it was brought to their attention.

Interestingly can cancel your annual leave and take it off sick according to gov.uk!

here