… to be mad at ill colleague?

[Rewindthefilm]

A colleague who ALWAYS comes in to work even when badly ill only to moan about being ill and touches every work surface going and leaves their food and drink all over the place insisted on being in work before half term started for all of us. I was sympathetic but kept my distance. However I have clearly ended up catching their horrible cold and it is wrecking my half term- I have had to cancel a few plans with friends because I don’t feel great and don’t want to risk them catching anything and I’m lacking the focus to even sit and read at home. So it feels like half a week wasted already. On top of this, I’m pregnant and having spoken to a pharmacist and midwife, there’s loads of cough medicines I can’t have. The colleague doesn’t know I’m pregnant as I haven’t said, but surely that’s not the only reason you should be mindful of others when ill, right?

I feel like I’ve been robbed of my downtime because my colleague was selfish. They have a martyr complex that many others have noted- definitely isn’t the first time they have come in when quite ill, complained about how bad they’ve felt and then been oblivious to how germs spread by not cleaning up after themselves or observing personal space.

Of course I won’t go into work next week and accuse them of ruining half term or be unprofessional towards them but AIBU for feeling mad towards them right now?

Tbh I have been ill for near exclusively 6 weeks. Toddler super spreader has ensured we are all permanently ill (think he’s picking up from others with siblings that have returned to school). It’s currently chaos for germs.

So yes I would love to sit at home. I really would. But then I would be sacked.

You work in a school but yet you are precious about illness? Sorry but schools are an absolute melting pot of germs. And not many headteachers or heads of dept would take kindly to a teacher/employee being off with just the sniffles, so your colleague did right by coming in. Shouldn't be whinging about it though. Where has the 'keep calm and carry on' attitude gone?

Exactly!!! The very obviously sick people should be the easiest to avoid - it's the strangers you pass on the street or stand in the queues that are the danger.

You can’t take time off in a school because you’ve got a cold. I’m a fairly healthy and fit person, but I’ve got my third cold of the year. If I took time off for all three colds I’d be close to triggering a disciplinary. I’d also be massively letting my colleagues down, who would have to pick up the slack.

You stay at home if you are too ill to work in schools. Your colleague was able to work so she came in.

Robitussin cough medicine, the sugar free stuff was recommended to me as I had GD to.

I get your frustration but its normal to come to work with a cold or flu. Different if its COVID or something lifethreatening but exposure to common bugs is what strengthens your immune system. You wouldnt be so healthy if you sheltered yourself from everyone whenever they had the slightest sniffly nose.

It’s really hard. Dh is still isolating due to severe health issues. I’m still being ultra careful about certain things I go to. I was slated recently for not going to a regular main meeting of 40 people in a very unventilated room, bearing in mind this is a hobby I was a lot 😳😳😳😳😳. I run a lot of the said hobby from home and am not needed to attend main meetings, I have an assistant who is at the meetings to be my eye and ears.

no one wants my job and to do what I do for the group but I can’t get over the fact that a few think I should put DH’s life at risk.

YANBU - this sort of thing drives me nuts. I say this as a family of 4 who are all sitting with a horrid cold and cough caught from a similarly selfish person. One DC only 3 months and he has had covid and now this - he’s hardly been out and about really but catches from others in the house of course. Hate it.

Common colds can be passed on before symptoms even start! You could have caught it before her spluttering at work!

If she's well enough to get dressed and commute to work, she's probably fine to work.

Most likely she's just one of these 'oh I'm so unwell, look at me types' who crave attention.

Her hygiene sounds grim, but that's a separate issue and you could also have picked this cold up from anyone.

Not even a GP would do anything for a virus in a healthy person, we just have to ride them out as naff as they make us feel.

@LickChit yes I know now I needed to be clearer in my original post! It was more than a cold as they were sweaty and pale on top of the chesty coughing and nasal dripping. They weren’t fit to work and had even said so but as previous times, declared they needed to be in for reasons still unclear. They hadn’t had a sick day this year so far. I’m sure we’ve all worked with a cold where it’s been uncomfortable and inconvenient but sometimes you have to admit defeat and accept rest is necessary!

Colds can make you sweaty and pale

Here’s the issue. If you ring in sick for a cold you are seen as staying off work unnecessarily. This can result in absence triggers being met or loss of pay. You are expected to work because it’s just a cold. So when I have a cold I go to work. So do my colleagues. As a result of my colleagues cold recently I had a bad cold which developed into a chest infection. But out of 3 of us not one sick day was taken. If everyone had days off with a cold productivity would be way down. The average adult has 5 colds a year. So yes, it’s annoying when you catch a cold from someone. And I totally feel your annoyance. But it’s also not really practical to be off sick when it is just a cold.

It's easy to complain about an ill person coming but we have no idea of their circumstances.

The workplace sickness policy might have something to do with it.

They might already have taken sick days and face disciplinary procedures if they off again. We have no idea.

However, they should be really mindful and try not spread their germs all over the place.

YANBU to be annoyed with pants hygiene when colleague came in with a cold.

I think YABU to be cross generally that colleague came in with a cold though. Schools encourage us to send kids in with common colds, so think it's reasonable your colleague went in.

I'd be pretty pissed if my team called in sick every time they got a cold. As long as they chuck their snot rags in the bin and aren't spluttering in faces, I am in the camp that thinks you just crack on with a cold. Keep any D and V far away though!

I go into work with a cold. I'm suffering with my 3rd cold in 6 weeks! If I stay off with every cold, I'll never be in work between October and March.
However, I do bin my tissue and sanitise my hands each time I blow my nose, I stay at my own desk and advise anyone who approaches my desk that I'm germs and contagious.
Your colleague is fine to attend work if they feel well enough to do so but they should be considerate in their hand hygiene and keeping their distance from others.

I hope you feel better soon xx

YANBU, I hate people coming in when sick. At my work, which is hybrid, we explicitly tell people not to come in if they have cold symptoms, yet stil they come

I really thought the one positive lasting thing from the pandemic and lockdowns would be people being a bit more sensible about spreading diseases around in the name of presenteeism.. obviously not 🙄

@CowboyJoanna a cold is one thing, flu entirely something else. You have obviously never had real flu. It is totally different from a cold. With flu, you cannot walk across the room without effort and you dread needing the toilet as you don't know if you have enough energy to get there. You are either shivering uncontrollably or boiling and every part of you aches. It is nasty and can be fatal for some people. There is no way that you could work with flu and you can be absent for quite a while. This is why enlightened workplaces pay for their employees to have a flu jab each year.

Yabu, you work in a school. There are germs everywhere. If you wanted a germ free existence this is a very strange choice of job. You cannot be sure that you even caught the cold off your colleague.

And this is utter bollocks too. Jumping on the ‘have we learnt nothing from Covid’ you can have flu mildly and asymptomatically.

This. In the UK we’re usually only swabbed if we’re seriously ill, but in countries where people can see a doctor and get swabbed for mild illness it is documented that flu can be very mild or even asymptomatic. In the UK, people tend to use the word ‘cold’ for minor illness, and ‘flu’ to tell someone they’re really ill, when in reality colds can be severe and make you feel horrendous, and flu can be mild.

The lack of consideration some people show when ill drives me crackers. I honestly thought all of that ‘I’ll just soldier on’ bullshit was done with covid but here we are again.

it starts with school tbh - the culture of perfect attendance being the holy grail, as if someone I has any control over when they get ill - properly boils my piss 😂

So, management should have stepped in and TOLD them to go home.
Why didn't they?

We've been told if we are ill and can work then to WFH to avoid germs spreading, which I did last week. If I had to go into work and had germs then I would wear a mask and wipe down surfaces and keep distance if feasible, there really is no excuse not to do small things like this.

Currently we also get full pay if sick, but yes before WFH was a common thing I did go into work ill as you don't even get SSP until day 4 so it's 3 days unpaid which is a serious financial dent.

P.s. i would say I'm a mayrtr too, work when not feeling great a lot of the time but actually have no respect for people that are regularly off ill. From HR people I've spoken too it's reasonable for 2 x sick occurrences a year so what - a week off ill per year before performance evaluations etc

If I called in sick because of a cold I’d get told to take something and come in anyway.
we don’t get sick pay. Ssp is £18 a day 1

people wait 3/4/6 months to see me and the bosses are extremely unwilling to cancel my day as it costs them £££. And they’d get complaints from patients.
so I come in anyway. Even though I work with vulnerable people