… to be mad at ill colleague?

[Rewindthefilm]

A colleague who ALWAYS comes in to work even when badly ill only to moan about being ill and touches every work surface going and leaves their food and drink all over the place insisted on being in work before half term started for all of us. I was sympathetic but kept my distance. However I have clearly ended up catching their horrible cold and it is wrecking my half term- I have had to cancel a few plans with friends because I don’t feel great and don’t want to risk them catching anything and I’m lacking the focus to even sit and read at home. So it feels like half a week wasted already. On top of this, I’m pregnant and having spoken to a pharmacist and midwife, there’s loads of cough medicines I can’t have. The colleague doesn’t know I’m pregnant as I haven’t said, but surely that’s not the only reason you should be mindful of others when ill, right?

I feel like I’ve been robbed of my downtime because my colleague was selfish. They have a martyr complex that many others have noted- definitely isn’t the first time they have come in when quite ill, complained about how bad they’ve felt and then been oblivious to how germs spread by not cleaning up after themselves or observing personal space.

Of course I won’t go into work next week and accuse them of ruining half term or be unprofessional towards them but AIBU for feeling mad towards them right now?

My workplace only pays ssp, and we used to be able to take holiday for sick, but they've stopped that now. So if we are sick we lose the first 3 days, then its ssp after that.
Most of us go in unless we are unable to get out of bed. And even then we try because we lose so much money.
I've been in with a sickness and diahorrea bug. I wasnt a lot of use and yes I likely passed it on. No fucks given. Pay me when I have to be off and I wont come in with ailments.

@LaughterTitsoff am I? Ok so to clarify, I don’t think it is ok if a colleague says they are feeling really ill but come in to work anyway and don’t maintain good hygiene. I don’t think it’s ok as it unnecessarily exposes all of us. Yes we can all pick up illnesses from anywhere but you wouldn’t put yourself right in the path of it if you can help it. I think it was unfair of the colleague to risk our health because they didn’t want to/ didn’t think to call in sick.

As I said, I called it a cold as I couldn’t think of what else to call it when posting but it was heavier than a sniffle. I should have made that clearer. A sniffle isn’t going to decimate a half term or general capacity to work although yes for a minority it will manifest into something bigger. I don’t think anyone would send their child into school if they were sweaty, pale and wheezing and coughing like this colleague and I don’t think any school would expect to see a child in that condition to be in either!

*I sympathise but I suppose it depends on the sickness policy where you work.

If you just get SSP maybe your colleague can't afford that. Or if you get full pay but face disciplinary action after a certain point then maybe they're afraid of consequences.

I'm lucky that I can work from home if I have a cold etc however if I couldn't then I wouldnt be able to take sick leave every time I have the sniffles because I'd probably lose my job eventually.*

Yeh, in some workplaces you have to have worked there for X amount of months before you qualify for full sick pay. So you'd lose money by not going in. Some people can't afford that. My husband is in that situation and he has told me that if he's ill, he will be going into work no matter what until his 6 months are up. We can't afford to lose a day's pay! Such a ridiculous rule.

My workplace only pays ssp, and we used to be able to take holiday for sick, but they've stopped that now. So if we are sick we lose the first 3 days, then its ssp after that.
Most of us go in unless we are unable to get out of bed. And even then we try because we lose so much money.
I've been in with a sickness and diahorrea bug. I wasnt a lot of use and yes I likely passed it on. No fucks given. Pay me when I have to be off and I wont come in with ailments.

Yep I hear you.

YANBU. Going to work when ill is massively antisocial. It’s not welcome in my workplace thankfully. If you turn up with a cold you get sent home. Nobody wants anybody else’s minging germs!

I teach and came in for the last week of half term whilst feeling pretty dreadful but I have y11s with mocks coming up, y7s settling in still, other classes relying on consistent teaching. There are so many coughs and colds going round that there are always several students sneezing and coughing, often on and at me. I practise excellent hygiene and keep my distance from colleagues, staying in my classroom and sanitising/anti-bac surfaces regularly. If I'm well enough to teach and it's viral, I go in. I don't go in with D&V of course.

I spent half term wiped out and am only well now I'm back at work again but that's life in a school.

I'm totally with you op. It is selfish behaviour and people should know better after the pandemic. The only thing that can be done is an intervention from the top, so a management policy for health and safety during the winter months, that is very specific about not coming in if you have a temperature over a certain limit, about wearing a mask when you have a cold, about washing up your own lunch things and putting your used handkerchiefs in a closed plastic carrier bag. You shouldn't have to teach adults these things but sadly lots of people only care about themselves. The problem is, if management are not supportive, you cannot really prove you have caught the virus in the office as they can say you caught it from your dc, or on the commute in to work, which is always a possibility too.

I’m surprised at lots of these replies. I haven’t worked in an office since covid, but pre covid, in any office I worked in it would be frowned upon to call in sick due to having a cold. You were expected in unless you couldn’t get out of bed, and when people called in sick with ‘flu’ you’d often hear managers commenting that they didn’t sound that ill etc. There were always ill people in. You’d also get a disciplinary for more than two periods of sickness in a certain length of time, no matter how severe the illness. Things must have changed!

Coming in to work when sick is so, so selfish. The vast majority of us do not need to force ourselves into work at any cost when sick, the company will not implode. It's martyr-ish and self-absorbed. I especially can't stand when people seem to take a sort of pride in coming in sick, making comments like "if my legs work, I'm coming in to work". Like... good for you but what about everyone else who is now going to come into contact with your germs?! Illness affects people differently, too. What is mild and harmless for one person can be serious for another. So selfish.

If the 'vast majority' of us don't need to go into work , I'd say the vast majority are very lucky. I work in the public sector , and there are triggers that could put you various sickness processes , that could lead to dismissal. I've only recently started a new job so I have to drag myself in even if I am unwell with a cold or even worse. I don't want to, and I don't like to either, but I have no choice. I'd rather that than getting grief from hr and their policies and potentially failing my probation. Don't blame the employee , blame the sickness procedures and policies. Until recently support staff who work in school didn't get paid for the first two days of sickness. Thankfully following union vote, this will change from 1st November. If an employee has to decide between getting paid or spreading germs of course they'll decide to come in and get paid. If they weren't been penalised for not coming in , I am sure they'll gladly stay at home.

You should not stay silent. Many children are looked after at some point by grandparents who may be older people and/or clinically vulnerable. It it not just you who is affected.

It's a good job most schools aren't like this, otherwise you'd spend more time at home with your DC than you would at work.

Well some places insist their staff come in with D&V. No wonder I'm looking for a new job.

Or other teachers or supply teachers cover the lessons. I’d rather that than the kids get and pass it on to everyone else.

Yabu its just a cold.

@WhateverMate yes of course. I think I needed to clarify earlier on that this was more than a case of bad sniffles. However, if someone did ring in enough times with a case of sniffles, that would be looked into as would repeated chest infections- likely support from OH given. Can’t be reprimanded for being genuinely too ill to work! Not a case of “snap out of it and get into work “ etc. Ironically this colleague hasn’t had a day off sick until the day they got sent home, and have behaved like this before where others have gotten sick after and had to take at least a day off!

There are colds and colds. Most are of the feeling under the weather but able to carry on variety. The op would appear to have a particularly nasty, debilitating virus which her colleague had last week. How does anyone know that it is not Covid? The colleague should have stayed at home for a day or two to get over the worst of it and not to spread their germs to everyone else. I doubt that they were able to produce their best work in any case. The martyr is a particularly annoying type of person. They come in, coughing and spluttering over everyone; all with a pained expression on their face and a weak voice, expecting everyone to say what a brave little soldier they are. It is far better for everyone for this person to have a couple of days off work rather than infecting their colleagues meaning that half the workforce is too ill to perform their jobs properly. Nearly twenty years ago now I was in a waiting room for a non-urgent clinic, the appointments for which were all made well in advance. A woman arrived in a terrible state, shivering, coughing, spluttering and obviously quite unwell. She was in the martyr category as she explained that she had come down with flu and had been awake and suffering most of the previous night but could not possibly miss her appointment. It was proper flu and not a cold. I came out with it two days later and had to cancel a week’s work which, as I was self-employed, I was not happy about. So selfish and unnecessary.

There's no endless pot of money to cover teachers every time they get a cold.

Plus, if they sent the kids home every time they had a cold then the parents would have to leave work and go home too.

I have a rotten cold this week. None of the people I came into contact with prior to this appeared to have a cold. No one on my train last week was coughing or sneezing. I haven't sat near a solicitor on a plane. I'm fuming that my week has been ruined and I have absolutely no idea who to call selfish, be disgusted with or report to their employer. I intend to find out though, and will start a thread about it as soon as i do!

You could have caught it from anyone. Everything you touch, from doors, supermarket trollies, sat next to someone in a cafe or on a bus. There’s loads of colds and viruses doing the rounds atm.

At my school other teachers covered when teachers were off sick. Even the head would get stuck in.

@ShowOfHands it’s hard isn’t it. So many pressures and deadlines and the guilt when you’re not in is awful. That’s why we worked on cover booklets to ensure they would be appropriate for a few days in case of non-specialist supply because we’ve all been there.

So I think we can all agree that the workplace is a mixture of selfish workers, martyrs, horrendous management and people desperate not to lose their jobs or money.
I think there is privilege showing.

Lol at all the people on here that state they know exactly who infected them........ (Im sorry that you are ill though)

Yes of course things have changed! Employees are no longer required to test for Covid, for example. Loads of people only have mild cold symptoms with Covid, but could unwittingly pass it on to someone else and knock them off their feet for a month. It’s just much more considerate to stay at home when you’re unwell (where possible, of course). I’m forever encountering people at work who brag about their clean sickness records and act the martyr by coming in sick / berate others for not doing. It’s just selfish and irresponsible.

Wow is me brigade neads an injection in the arse.
I had 8 hours of Miss Sniffy Sniffing every 20seconds. Oh I don't feel well every 15 mins - well fuck off and either be off sick or WFH