to be offended at neighbour's reaction

[SeaBreezeDream]

We aren't the kind of street where neighbours are all friends, we just nod the occasional hello etc. but a few days ago I had a small car smash pulling out of my drive and a lady a couple of doors along came out to see if I was ok. She was very kind with me and the situation in general, even though it was basically the first conversation we had ever really had. She waited with me a while and we got chatting and it was all very friendly and kind. I was upset and appreciated her being there.

I went round yesterday with a bunch of flowers to say thank you, plus a gift for her new grandchild as we had been chatting about the new baby and she was very excited about that. Her husband answered as she was out and I just handed them over and we exchanged pleasantries. All fine.

A little later I got a message from her saying thanks for the flowers and gift but I thought she was incredibly rude. She said

Thank you for the flowers and gift, there was no need. X and I couldn't stop laughing when we opened the gift. He was on their board for years and (daughter) is one of their buyers so we know all their products even though we don't tend to buy them. Daughter will find this so funny too! Take care, A.

Is that not a really crass message? Or am I being over sensitive?

(It cost £70 so wasn't exactly cheap shit either)

Perhaps the woman thought that maybe now you two would get to know each other better. It would be even weirder, possibly, if she hadn't mentioned the family connection and it came out later when discussing work/what her husband used to do and where her daughter works now. You may have wondered why she didn't mention it at the time of the gift.

She was rude but I have no clue why you’d spend £70 on a gift for a baby you’ve never met, parents you don’t know and grandparents you’ve hardly spoken to. Very odd

Her daughter being a buyer probably means she would have loved what you had chosen, I think.

I'm quite baffled by responses like this one tbh.

I started the thread because I thought the message was rude but suspected others might disagree.

I updated the thread to acknowledge replies and answer questions.

Thanks to everyone for their replies, it's been enlightening to see all the different reactions to that message.

I wouldn't be offended. I think with all due respect that you are perhaps being a bit over-sensitive.

It's a bit awkward but wouldn't be offended.
Just reply hope you liked it and you really appreciated her support the other day.

@SeaBreezeDream I continue to be impressed with your calm replies to utter nastiness like @Flipdiddle post.

Like you, I'm baffled at the conclusions some posters are reaching about your personality & lifestyle.

And also, kudos for updating, and continuing to. I hate when threads are left hanging ...

Funnily enough I'm autistic and don't see any rudeness in the message 😆

@FaintlyInglorious what do you mean? 'She sounds autistic' in a disparaging way.

While I read the message as having a warm, friendly, cheery tone and don't see any rudeness or implied slight, it's unnecessary and unkind for folk to criticise you the way some have been in the thread. As an "oversensitive" person myself, I hope you're okay.

She was extending her friendship by telling you more about your gift. Take it as that. You now have another friend, the more the merrier. Make your world a better place by seeing the good that people are offering. She didnt have to help you, but she did. She sound like a lovely person.. no rudeness intended imo. Xx

In my opinion, older people don’t know how to frame text messages. I truly don’t think she was being rude

@Debtfreegoals you’re brave!

I don't think she was being rude, but can see how you might interpret it in that way. Many situations are ambiguous and how we are left feeling will be influenced by so many factors. Good advice given to me as a teen - don't look for trouble and assume people's actions/words are coming from a good place.

I think it comes across as a bit rude, but it’s unlikely she meant it that way, just didn’t re read it before sending it.

Dont be silly, the thank you note is fine.

Anyone else what to know where a baby cardigan and hat costs £70?

I think if told in person it would have been amusing but it’s lost in translation written down

I don’t see it as rude at all

Not crass at all just honest and not rude at all. She could just have ignored your gift as she didnt take it from you. How much it cost is irrelevant.

Not rude.You are reading too much into it.