Aibu to think my parents are still biological

[Dontknowwhoiamrightnow]

Last week I urgently needed my birth certificate. I couldn't find it, so ordered a copy.
A few days later the post arrives and there is a letter to say that the information I provided for the birth certificate didn't match, but they checked some other files and the certificate is enclosed.
It's an ADOPTION certificate!!! I have an adoption certificate.
I had no idea I had even been adopted!!
Backstory-: I lived with my "mum and dad". I had my mum's maiden name at birth.
My parents told me that my name was changed to my dad's surname when they got married two years after birth.
I was told this was so that we could all have the same name.
This was In the 1980's.
My mum does look like me and my kids, so I think she is my biological mum.
AIBU to think that my parents are my biological parents and they became my adopters, just to change my name OR is it reasonable to think that my dad is not my real dad.
I know, I'm clutching at straws, it seems more than likely he's not my real dad.... How do I make sense of it all? Is there really any chance they are both my bio parents and the adoption was just to make me legitimate?
I'm in bits right now and don't know what to do xxx

I was an unmarried mother in 1980. It wasn't that outrageous.

My DM was a divorced single mother in the 70s, it wasn’t openly frowned upon but she did get some comments.

Ironically, a few years later, as soon as a few of my school friends had left school a few marriages broke up, said to be instigated by the mother rather than the father. So maybe they were biding their time.

I know a couple who 'purchased' a birth certificate for a child they were trying to Foster, the child hadn't been placed with them at that point.
They needed the birth cert to register the child for nursery.

Apparently you can 'purchase' a copy of anyone's birth, marriage or death certificate they are matters of public record.

The lost photos, the holiday at the time of birth, adoption certificate and a sibling born in the same year would definitely point to something odd to me. 20 would be far too young for your mother to be able to formally adopt through official agencies but to me thos sounds like an inter family adoption.

I know of another case where a child born in the 80s to a single young mum, who then met another guy, they got married after her birth and made out to everyone he was the father. It all came out a few years ago, but the child was by then in her late 20s. I have no idea why she hadn’t been told. Apparently it was an open secret in the family.

Apparently you can 'purchase' a copy of anyone's birth, marriage or death certificate they are matters of public record.

You are correct @Sugarfree23 Anyone can get a copy, which is what the media do when there's a royal baby etc.

I grew up near Glasgow and unmarried mums in the early 80s were still looked down on.
It was becoming more acceptable for the mums to keep their babies, no more shotgun weddings or forced adoptions but they were still looked down on.

There might have been people who looked down on me but I didn't notice. I knew plenty of other unmarried mothers. I lived in London but moved North in the late 80s.

Born in the late 1970's to a single mother & it absolutely was frowned upon, not by everyone but I definitely remember a few comments & 'ill feeling' my mum married a few years later & my step nan definitely took her time to 'warm' to me! That's catholics for you 😂. I for one am very much behind being open & honest, secrets hurt people more than the truth. Hugs OP xx

C'mon have some empathy. Can you not understand why it might be helpful for OP to splurge her thoughts down on an anonymous forum before approaching her family with questions that could alter her sense of identity forever?

Take your time OP, you are the most important person in this equation, not your dad, not your mum, and certainly not a bunch of nosey people on the Internet 🙄do this at your pace.

Adoption certificates aren’t issued for name changes.

Op I think the obvious thing is to get your birth certificate. That will give you a bit more information.

You say you were 2 when your mum and dad married. That makes me thing they are possibly both your bio parents.

I'm just thinking that 2 years is a very short time to meet a partner and marry, esp when you have a baby.
Maybe her parents didn't want his name on the birth certificate as she wasn't married.
So it was sorted as adoption later.

Op your mum and dad haven't changed they are still mum & dad.

FWIW my mum is definitely my biological mum but she still had to adopt me when she married my step dad (my biological dad died before I was born)

I think it's likely your mum is your biological mum, but your dad is not.

Must be such a shock op but as others have said mum and Dad are still mum and Dad.

Hope you find you answers ❤️

Despite what some are saying on this thread (and I know cos I'm in my 70's) in the early 1980's there was still a stigma about being an unmarried Mum, especially if there wasn't a "visible" father around. I have several friends who adopted babies in the early 80's. As the decade went on very few babies came available as attitudes were changing.

My first child was born and I registered her alone in my name. Her father and I then made a go of things and married 3 years later. At that time we also got his name put on her birth certificate. She's lost her a couple of times and ordered a new one, it doesn't come back as an adoption certificate. It's a normal birth certificate

I have a feeling that your dad is your step dad and met your mum when you were a baby. My DP and I were born in the mid 90s. His parents weren't married at the time of his birth but his dad is still named on his bc. They married a few years later and he didn't have to change his bc or have his dad adopt him.

You have 6 weeks to register a baby's birth so that would've been plenty of time for your dad to accompany your mum to the register Office if he was your bio dad. Hopefully your older uncle can give you the answers you need.

Hope you get some answers soon op, must be a horrible shock for you.
Hopefully though you have had good parents whether or not they are biological ones.

I think the uncle is relaying something he has been told or heard, but that the story is unlikely to be true, as if that had happened, a very premature birth in another part of the country, months in hospital, OP your Mum would surely have talked to you about this. My Mum had a dramatic premature delivery with me, and talked about it a lot when I was growing up. I also heard her talking with other women about her birth experiences. If you had been born in a random house in a different part of the country and then rushed to hospital I really feel you would have known about that by now !
So that is mystery, whether you are your Mum’s biological baby or not. Also no baby pictures. I am only slightly younger than your Mum and there were quite a few baby pictures of me. DH was born in the seventies and has loads.

Apparently you can 'purchase' a copy of anyone's birth, marriage or death certificate they are matters of public record.

You can indeed.

And on some of the records that are online not only do you see the record you are looking at you can see the other entries on the same page, if the image is from the book.

They’re not private documents.

You can do the same in Ireland.

I'm not sure you can purchase the birth certificate of someone who has been adopted.

And I know my experience because I actually did it it but hey ho.

You can buy the original birth certificate in the same way you can any other, but you can’t buy the adoption certificate and the birth certificate won’t give the details of name changes or who the adoptive parents are.

Obviously attitudes are going to be different in different places, and would have changed over different time scales in different places.

In the little village I was born in its still a talking point if someone has a baby whilst not married.

What a shock for you but hopefully you will get answers

Can you apply for original birth certificate

@CaptainMyCaptain Attitudes are very localised to things like this.

In the late 70s and early 80s, even 'living in sin' (unmarried couples) was frowned upon by some, mainly in working class, more deprived areas.

The middle and upper classes always had a more laissez faire approach.