If you saw this parent on a train?

[rocknrollaa]

On the train today, I saw a mother with 3 kids was really losing her temper with them. The kids were just being kids - talking quite loudly, getting out of their seats sometimes - nothing bad, just a bit excitable.

But mum was really telling them off - for the whole journey of about half an hour, all you could hear from her were loud angry commands to sit down, shut up, threats that they are not going to go trick or treating, etc. She didn't say a single thing to them that wasn't a command or telling them off, and her voice was loud and angry.

At one point the eldest, probably about 8/9, got very upset with her mum who told her she couldn't go trick or treating.

The child was crying, she said ' I was just starting to feel happy again and then you told me off again'. Mum replied loudly 'Stop being naughty then. Why the bloody hell are you only happy when you're bad?! I SWEAR DOWN you're not going trick or treating tonight', then the kid started crying.

We didn't intervene but we felt really sorry for these kids. It was serious shouting and they really weren't misbehaving much at all.

It got me thinking what I would do if I actually saw her hit one of the kids (because I felt like she was on the verge of it, but didn't).

Would you intervene? If so how?

YABU - No I wouldn't intervene - it's her business how she parents her kids.
YANBU - Yes I would intervene (please comment what you'd do)

It was deleted because I reported it.

Your post to me was judgemental and presumptuous also, so really no need to be smug.

@rocknrollaa You’re posting about a mum on a train with three children being stressed, @LadyThatLaunches posted about working class parents being “more likely” to abuse children, and I’m the one who’s being judgemental? Girl, bye. 🙄

Um, I didn't actually use the phrase 'working class'. It seems you're making some assumptions here.

But abuse is more common in lower socioeconomic environments. That's been proven many times.

Sometimes, as a parent, you just have to have zero tolerance of any stepping out of line, to keep control of children, especially more than 2 when you are on your own on a journey, in public. Don't judge.

Personally I think the poll results say it all - only 17% of people would of stepped in and said something IF she hit them.

Thats what’s wrong with this world.

it should be 100% of people speak out of they ever saw a child being abused

So “chavs”, as you say, are portrayed as middle class parents now, are they?

And yes, your initial comment did “touch a nerve” as you say. I didn’t feel the need to spell this out the first time around, however it seems you need a little background education. The phrase “swear down” actually has its British origins in MLE (multicultural London English), which is the typical accent that younger Londoners have with most of its roots stemming from Jamaican English, or Patois. It’s since spread outside of London for obvious reasons, but the phrase itself is most likely to be used with those from or with close links to Caribbean influences. So yes, your comment “touched a nerve” as you say; you’re essentially calling a community that I come from “chavs” and thus therefore more likely to “abuse our children”.

I'm with the OP here. If she felt something was 'off' then better to try and do something. What's that saying "bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing"? The problem here is that there's not much you actually can do. If you say something, then there's a risk that when the family gets home, mum turns on the kids even worse because they've "shown her up in public".

I think if you could, the only thing you can do is try to find out what school they go to and then report to the school's safeguarding lead.

Do you have kids OP? You weren't very creative in supporting the mum here.

Whooooo, that was well said!

I saw this once and asked the mum if she needed any help. Yes she did and I did help!
Sometimes mums just need that instead if glaring looks, judgement and she prod had a bloody terrible day
Just saying....

Let’s be honest OP, you saw a working class mum, decided her parenting style wasn’t as flowery or stereotypically “middle class” as MN tells you perfect parenting is, and came here to round up the troops with you.

This is judgemental, of me, and making huge sweeping assumptions which you apologised for (and thank you for that btw).

I completely agree with you about the word 'chav' and actually most of what you are saying but yeah, you made assumptions too - this wasn't what happened at all.

Yabvu asking if the mum needs help, this is so patronising. The kids were repeatedly misbehaving by talking loudly and standing up, it sounds like she was probably at the end of her tether. Not going trick or treating as a threat isn’t exactly -that- bad is it?! She probably didn’t even mean it and was trying anything to keep them quiet!

Are you one of those parents who lets their little darlings run riot regardless of the impact on other people?I came across one of those types in a shop last week, letting her kids scream, shout, and run around the place picking things up and annoying everyone around them without uttering a word. I was very tempted to ask if she needed some support with her parenting but thought better of it.

So she didn't hit the kids but your making a post about IF she did hit her kids? Doesn't make sense.

You don't know these people, the kids could have been acting up all day and the mum was at the of her rope.l and her is you judging her.

My niece had to drag her 2yr old out of a shopping centre today kicking and screaming. I wonder if you would have judged her too.

You're getting a completely unwarranted bollovking here, OP.

You absolutely can sense when someone is stepping over a line.

I've seen women 'parenting' like this in public and in my experience and observation it's usually even worse behind closed doors.