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Original poster

Was anyone's DP a husband/father aged 30 or under?

203 replies

ArethaQ · 31/10/2023 17:37

Constantly hearing that men these days don't really get married or want children before the age of 30, and preferably later 30s. Just wondering how true this rings? Does that mean women shouldn't date men more than a couple of years younger if they want children, as they'll have to wait longer and risk their own fertility?
I personally know a few men who were married and had children around 28/29. I don't think it's that young really.. 21/22 ok, but nearing 30s, I don't think it's terribly young to commit.

OP posts:
JaceLancs · 31/10/2023 22:07

We got married at 25, had first DC at 27 then second DC at 29
This was fairly normal 30+ years ago

karmasacat · 31/10/2023 22:08

I’m 30 and I don’t know any men at all (I mean at all!) who had children pre-30 in my peer group. I know a few who have had them in early 30’s, but tbh most of the men I know with young children are 35+

BendingSpoons · 31/10/2023 22:11

DH is 1 year older than me. We got married at 27/28 and had a child at 29/30. Lots of my friends got married and had a child not long after us but it was much longer until DHs friends did.

StJulian2023 · 31/10/2023 22:14

We got married when DH was 27 and I’d just turned 28 and had DC at 29/30 and 31/32.

Good job we had our family fairly young as DH had cancer diagnosis at 33 and died at 37 😭😭😭

TheGoogleMum · 31/10/2023 22:16

DH was 27 when we hot married and 29 when we had DD. This was similar to our shared friends locally, but early compared to his mates where he grew up

PrudeyTwoShoes · 31/10/2023 22:42

My DH and I are childhood sweethearts. We were married at 26 and 24 retrospectively. Pregnant immediately and became parents at 26 and 25. Our second is now 5 months old and DH is 31 and I'm approaching 30.

slithytoveisascientist · 31/10/2023 22:50

26 and 28
Both planned

slithytoveisascientist · 31/10/2023 22:51

Now 36

Onelifeonly · 31/10/2023 22:51

My friend's husband was around 24 when they had their first child - she's 5 years his senior. My sister's husband was 28 when their first child was born - 3 years her junior. Both couples still married with now grown up children.

Wolvesart · 31/10/2023 22:55

I’m 60 and the average marriage age was about 23 when we got married. Most of my contemporaries met their husbands at uni, married less than a year after graduating and had kids in their 20s. We were married at 27 but didn’t even think about having children for 5 years. Some thought we didn’t want to.

My mother was 22 when she got married, she he’d thought her prince wouldn’t be found. My bro arrived when she was 24, but I’m the youngest and both parents were over 30.

Onelifeonly · 31/10/2023 22:57

Everyone seems to grow up later these days. Women as well as men. The vast majority of couples I know who have young children had them in their thirties. And a lot of my older friend's did too. But it used to be common place to start families in your 20s. My parents were mid 20s when they had me. The culture and expectations were different then. My colleague had her first child at 19 but it was an accident she decided to run with - most girls wouldn't nowadays, I don't think.

user6776 · 31/10/2023 22:59

Yes, 21. Now 26 and expecting second

user6776 · 31/10/2023 23:01

NancyJoan · 31/10/2023 20:29

They only babies I know of that have recently born to anyone under 28 ish have been unplanned.

This is definitely the case with me, lol

PrudeyTwoShoes · 31/10/2023 23:10

PrudeyTwoShoes · 31/10/2023 22:42

My DH and I are childhood sweethearts. We were married at 26 and 24 retrospectively. Pregnant immediately and became parents at 26 and 25. Our second is now 5 months old and DH is 31 and I'm approaching 30.

I should have sai, incase it's not clear, both of our children were planned.

Cornishclio · 31/10/2023 23:22

I am 63 and DH 65. We got married at 22 and 23 and had our first child at 26 and 27 and second at 27 and 28. So he had two children before 30 but this was over 35 years ago.

DD and her husband had their first child when she was 28 and her husband was 30. That was 8 years ago.

RudolphTheRedNosedSpaniel · 01/11/2023 06:14

DH was 25 when we got married
But we purposely waited until he was 30 to have kids.
We'd been together 6 years before we got married.
He's 44 now. We have 2 kids and are still happy together.
I'm 3 years older than him.

Birdie8989 · 01/11/2023 06:25

DH and I got married at 22, and had our planned children at 24 and 26.

RampantIvy · 01/11/2023 06:27

Married at 22 (me) and 29 (DH). After years of TTC DD was born when I was 41 and DH was 48.

TheFutureFreaksMeOut · 01/11/2023 06:43

My husband was 24 and I was 25 when we got married in 2012. We had our son in 2016 when he was 28 and I was 29.

BookishBabe · 01/11/2023 06:54

DH and I met when we were 17.
Married at 21 (he asked me).
And had our first child at 25 (which he wanted more than me).
2nd child at 26 swiftly followed by a vasectomy.
We're 31 now and still very happily married, he has always been very mature for his age.

YokoOnosBigHat · 01/11/2023 07:01

We got married when my husband was 26 and he was a father at 27. Not long ago either, so it wasn't "a different time or anything.

PinkPink1 · 01/11/2023 07:14

My DP and I recently had our first baby. Both of us were barely 27 when baby was born. My dad was 25 when I was born. I feel like a normal age to be a mum, not too young or old.

TransformationChynaDoll · 01/11/2023 07:23

I think a big difference is that being a young dad can be lonely. None of my ex's friends really bothered with our children or wanted to meet them. Women on the whole at least try to stay in touch or come round when you have a baby. A lot of men see it as a sort of death for their friendship.

Roiesin57 · 01/11/2023 07:26

Married when I was 22 & dh 23. House & mortgage by 24. Had by first dc when i was 28 & dh 29. Still together 35 years later & happy.
I however did have a blip in my mid 30's where I wanted to party all the time with my single friends & felt like I'd married too young & missed out. A mid life crisis? We got through it thankfully

TransformationChynaDoll · 01/11/2023 07:58

@Roiesin57 why do you think your DH didn't go through that, out of interest?