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Original poster

Was anyone's DP a husband/father aged 30 or under?

203 replies

ArethaQ · 31/10/2023 17:37

Constantly hearing that men these days don't really get married or want children before the age of 30, and preferably later 30s. Just wondering how true this rings? Does that mean women shouldn't date men more than a couple of years younger if they want children, as they'll have to wait longer and risk their own fertility?
I personally know a few men who were married and had children around 28/29. I don't think it's that young really.. 21/22 ok, but nearing 30s, I don't think it's terribly young to commit.

OP posts:
TheDonsDingleberries · 31/10/2023 18:45

My husband was 24 when we married and 27 when we had our daughter. Both happened in the 2010s, so fairly recently.

I'm a few years older than him, and definitely wouldn't have been ready for marriage or children at those ages. I think one factor in our case is that he didn't go to uni, so started his career at a younger age than I did. This meant by the time we met we were at similar life/work stages, despite him being younger.

LuluBlakey1 · 31/10/2023 18:48

DH was 31, I was 30 when we got married. We were 35 when DS1 was born, 37 when DD was born and 40 when DS2 was born. We're 44 now.

Allywill · 31/10/2023 18:51

We got married at 26 and had first child at 28 and second at 30. i don’t think it was particularly young - most of our friends were similar although maybe that has changed as our daughters are now 27/25 and not married or have children -although eldest lives with her partner (who is 32)

Apossum · 31/10/2023 18:53

My husband was 26 and I was 24 when we got married, and he was (only just!) 29, I was 27, when we had our son, now 2. It would’ve been sooner but alas, ttc wasn’t an easy journey for us. We got together when we were 23 and 21. He is an absolutely fantastic father and husband. Well within the norm for my friends and I anyway.

Catacapa · 31/10/2023 18:54

Given the average age to be a first time mum is now around 30, I'd hardly call it 'risking your fertility'. Most men and women I know had their first and second between 30 and 34.

justalittlesnoel · 31/10/2023 18:55

My DH was 30 when we got married - should have been earlier but covid caused a 2 year delay! Sadly no DC so far, a few years later.

StrawberryPavlova · 31/10/2023 18:56

Yes. My husband is four years younger than me. We got married in 2011 when I was 29, and he was 25, and I had our first child in Jan 2012, at 30 and 26.

RedCoffeeCup · 31/10/2023 18:57

DH was 28 when we got married and 30 when DC1 was born (I was 29 and 31 respectively). He was one of the earliest among his friends.

Oanyerselhen · 31/10/2023 18:58

My DH had kids at 22 and 24 with his EXW then we had ours when he was 36 and 42 so both ends of the spectrum.

I do feel slightly sorry for him as by the time our youngest is up he'll have been actively parenting for about 40 odd years!

Hatty65 · 31/10/2023 19:02

He was 27. It didn't feel young. We left school at 16, so had been working for 11 years and were married. I'm of the generation where by the time you were in your 20s you were thought of (and expected to be) an adult rather than a perpetual teenager.

OldTinHat · 31/10/2023 19:03

Married at 21. Divorced at 24 (after a miscarriage, planned baby). Married again at 26, DC1 at 27, DC2 at 28.

ShoesoftheWorld · 31/10/2023 19:04

My dh was 25 (I was 23) when we married and 29 when we had our first. We'd been together 2.5 years by the time we married and we both very much knew what we wanted.

PurpleChrayne · 31/10/2023 19:05

My DH was 27 when we met, and 30 when DD was born.

pumpkinpiee · 31/10/2023 19:10

My DH was 29 when we got married and I got pregnant, and 30 when our little one arrived. He is quite mature compared to a lot of his friends though! We’ve been together 8 years if that helps

Mumof1andacat · 31/10/2023 19:15

My dh was 29, me 28 when we had our ds in 2013. We had been married 3 years and together 10 when he can along.

Carrotcake93 · 31/10/2023 19:18

Dp is 23, I am 30 and we have a 4 month old baby. It wasn't planned but when came it was highly desired.

I never thought about dating someone his age, but the truth is that he was more mature than most 30-something men I met before.
Dp was clear from the beginning that he was looking for a long-term relationship and starting a family and I can say he demonstrates this every day. I am a SAHM and he works full time, and every single day, when he comes home from work takes care of DC, makes dinner, clean dishes and the rest of the tasks that I have left pending. I'm not pretending we're perfect but we're really happy. He recently asked me to have a second DC.

So from my experience there are still men who want to start a family from a very young age, as well as those over 30 who are not yet ready to commit.

Tisfortired · 31/10/2023 19:22

We have been together since we were 18/19. Had DS1 (not planned) when we were 22/23. I was in my final year of uni at the time and absolutely none of our friends were even remotely considering families, neither were we! But we had DS and he was treated like everyone’s baby 🤣 now we are 32/33 and just had our second DS and most of our friends either have toddlers or babies now.

LethalToddlerElbows · 31/10/2023 19:25

My DH was 29 when we got married, 31 when our DD (now 2) was born. Fairly average among our friendship circle (South but not London)

Guessing London has a higher average age for everything because house prices are higher which kicks everything else down the road?

8misskitty8 · 31/10/2023 19:25

we’re both in our 40’s now.
Married at 21/22. Had our children at 24 and 27.
One at college and one almost finished high school.

FishPie2 · 31/10/2023 19:26

We were married when we were almost 20 and our son was born 2.5 years later. Felt really old celebrating our sons 50th birthday. (we were 😁)

maybemaybeno · 31/10/2023 19:28

Catacapa · 31/10/2023 18:54

Given the average age to be a first time mum is now around 30, I'd hardly call it 'risking your fertility'. Most men and women I know had their first and second between 30 and 34.

People can but it is better the younger you are, biologically.

22-26 is prime biological time! 26-33 not much different but after that fertility does drop for both.

Zanatdy · 31/10/2023 19:28

My ex was 25 when we had our first together, then 28 for 2nd. I do feel he was a bit immature, more as a partner than a father but still

cheezncrackers · 31/10/2023 19:29

My DPs were 25 and 30 when I was born. It's much less common in my generation (Gen X). Most of my friends were 26+ when they got married and late 20s to late 30s for childbearing.

Thepossibility · 31/10/2023 19:30

DH was 18 when we met. Engaged at 20, married 23 first baby 26.
Only 39 now.
TBH though he is and was very different to all his friends of the same age. Much less selfish and much more mature.
He was made to be a husband and father.
I was very aware if I let him go to sow my wild oats he would be snapped up quickly and I would never find someone of his quality again.

PurBal · 31/10/2023 19:32

One brother got married at 21. Been married 10 years now and have 2 children under 4. Other brother got married at 26, 1 child before he was 30.

DH is older than my brothers and me. But we met when he was 25.