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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was anyone's DP a husband/father aged 30 or under?

203 replies

ArethaQ · 31/10/2023 17:37

Constantly hearing that men these days don't really get married or want children before the age of 30, and preferably later 30s. Just wondering how true this rings? Does that mean women shouldn't date men more than a couple of years younger if they want children, as they'll have to wait longer and risk their own fertility?
I personally know a few men who were married and had children around 28/29. I don't think it's that young really.. 21/22 ok, but nearing 30s, I don't think it's terribly young to commit.

OP posts:
Rewis · 31/10/2023 20:35

Office of national statistics say the average age of first time fathers is 33.6

WhoBrokeIt · 31/10/2023 20:36

We were both 23 when our first was born.

OhmygodDont · 31/10/2023 20:38

Well dh is 34 and our youngest child is 7 so I don’t think it’s a huge thing. People individually are ready when they are ready.

DramaAlpaca · 31/10/2023 20:43

My parents had me at 28 and 30.

DH and I had DS1 at 29 and 31.

DS1 is now 30 and is nowhere near thinking about having children.

Icecreamlover63 · 31/10/2023 20:44

My MIL was 32 and my FIL was 26 and they were married for 41 years. My best friend’s son is 27 and his partner is 32 she is 33 next spring, their beautiful little girl was born 2 months ago.

Age really is just a number as long as you are happy I really wouldn’t listen to other people. Some people are more mature and are ready to be a parent x

Purplecatshopaholic · 31/10/2023 20:45

My partner was a dad at about 22. Married a few years later. Divorced a few years after that. His DD had a child young too, so he was a v young granddad! Still freaks me out, lol

Nottodaty · 31/10/2023 20:47

My husband was 30 when we had our first. Our two are now 20 & 14. Though out of his friendship group he has the eldest children.
Most have under 10 year olds or haven’t had children.

He at now 50 says he glad his children are older. Though I met him at 26 and he was no where near ready at that age - we hadn’t planned for our first surprise pregnancy.

yutu · 31/10/2023 21:09

Met DH when he was 25, a few yeara youngger than me. He was 28 when our first child was born. He was actually the only younger man I have dated, no commitment issue.

Tafaa · 31/10/2023 21:30

We were 21 and 20 when we got married in 2020 and now have two children at 24. Been together 7 years.

Globules · 31/10/2023 21:36

23 yrs old: we wed
24 yrs old: TTC
27 yrs old: DS born

I love the fact I had more energy for babies at that age. Can't imagine doing it now in my 40s.

gotomomo · 31/10/2023 21:36

Exh was 26 as was i

DanceMumTaxi · 31/10/2023 21:40

Dh was 27 when we got married, 30 when dc1 was born and 33 with dc2. This is quite similar to lots of our friends. A few were a couple of years younger and a few others a couple of years older.

Imreallytiredandanxioustoday · 31/10/2023 21:41

My DH was 25 when he first married and had a baby

Lochness1975 · 31/10/2023 21:41

Exdp and I were both 19 when we had our ds. Extremely young!

We split when he was 16 months, and we had 50:50 contact. I was at university close to home, and exdp changed to another university to be home with ds, we both graduated- Couldn’t ask for a better father.

GLC789 · 31/10/2023 21:47

My DH and I got married in 2022. I am now 35 and him 36. We are expecting our first (planned) little one 😍. We both agree the moving in together, marriage and baby would have come a couple of years earlier had it not been for covid getting in the way of house renovations 😂👀.

Yourebeingtooloud · 31/10/2023 21:49

DH and I married at 24 and had DC1 at 27. We’re not yet 40. We are definitely slightly younger than most of our dc’s friends’ parents though.

TruJay · 31/10/2023 21:53

We got married at 20(me) and just gone 22(dh), our eldest was born when I was 21 and dh 22, second born when I was 24 and dh 26 and third born when I was 33 and dh 35. Been together 15 years and have known each other since 12 and 14.

My best friend has a similar timeline to us but a lot of our other friends (a couple of years younger than us) have been married 6 years or less and their eldest children are 2 so we were very much on our own in our choices.

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 31/10/2023 21:54

DP and I were 25 and 27 when we had our second (and last!) child.

VeridicalVagabond · 31/10/2023 21:56

Lol

DH was 17 when our daughter was born. I was 16. Obviously not in either of our plans.

Married at 23 and 24, after we'd both had a chance to grow up a bit.

Still very happy together now, 30's, teenage daughter. No other kids, no plans for more. Super happy to have gotten baby stuff done young while I had boundless energy and could stay up all night and still be lucid to study the next day, and look after a child at the same time. Can't imagine having the energy for it now, while all our friends are just wading into their first borns and the first round of "oh my god it's this much poo???". Quite fun to get to sit back and watch the chaos knowing it's all behind us.

PetsAreBetter · 31/10/2023 21:57

My DH had two kids and one on the way at 30.

SwiftieGrainger · 31/10/2023 21:58

I don't think it's young at all, lot's of my friends are however they are all hard workers who have come out of school, gone into a trade and earn a lot. It helps if you're financially set up to be able to choose to have kids sooner I think. Some of my friends who followed a different path are not ready for that yet and that's also fine as long as they're happy and it works for them.

pinku22 · 31/10/2023 21:58

Married at 21 (him 23) first baby the following year

Lesina · 31/10/2023 22:00

my husband was 22 and I was 24 when we married, and 23/25 when our daughter was born. Coming up 28 years now and have a 7 year old grandson. It all worked out marvellously :)

TenPenceMix · 31/10/2023 22:04

He was 21 when we married. 22 when he became a dad. Still together 19 years later.

Strawberry0909 · 31/10/2023 22:04

DP was 28 when DS1 was born,

My dad was 26 when I was born

And my brother had his first at 28

Alot of family/friends/colleagues under 30 with First child