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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was anyone's DP a husband/father aged 30 or under?

203 replies

ArethaQ · 31/10/2023 17:37

Constantly hearing that men these days don't really get married or want children before the age of 30, and preferably later 30s. Just wondering how true this rings? Does that mean women shouldn't date men more than a couple of years younger if they want children, as they'll have to wait longer and risk their own fertility?
I personally know a few men who were married and had children around 28/29. I don't think it's that young really.. 21/22 ok, but nearing 30s, I don't think it's terribly young to commit.

OP posts:
Biasquia · 31/10/2023 17:46

28 DH me 27 when we married. Having kids when you have a house and money but are still pretty young is much easier. As I got older I found babies/children very tiring.

DeliahSmilah · 31/10/2023 17:47

Dp had his (and our) first at 16. His Dad was 18 when he had him. He had his (and our) last at 44. So old and young.

mumtotwox · 31/10/2023 17:47

My DP will have 3 children before he's 30 🥰

PosterBoy · 31/10/2023 17:47

Youngsters here are heading back to their grandparents values and starting families younger rather than older. My kids can't understand why you would wait til 30+.

My ex was 30 when we had our first but we felt like 'young parents'.

cecil2090 · 31/10/2023 17:48

DH had his eldest at 19 (unplanned)
We got married when I was 22 and he was 26. Had our first DC aged 25 and 29 and just had our second aged 31 and 35

Now I think about it, we were really young to get married but still wouldn't change it.

Most men I know have got married late 20s/early 30s

1990thatsme · 31/10/2023 17:49

I’m 33. DH and I got married at 26, had first DC both aged 28, had two more since then and number four on the way.

We had both travelled widely before we settled down, including living abroad (separately) and were ready to get married and start our family.

No regrets so far.

EllaDisenchanted · 31/10/2023 17:49

DH was 21 (nearer 22) with our first, and early 30s with our 4th. Married first. Culturally not abnormal though for our community.

Whatwouldyoudo24 · 31/10/2023 17:51

My DH is 28 and we have been married 8 years and have three children :)

Chchchanging · 31/10/2023 17:51

My DH was 26 when we married and we had our first when he was 29. I was older (30 and 34)

TakeMe2Insanity · 31/10/2023 17:52

You’ll find plenty with religious communities where you have to get married for sex and where children are seen as good to have v delay.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 31/10/2023 17:53

DH and I were 22 when we got married and 26 when our first child was born.

bunny27 · 31/10/2023 17:53

Married at 19, DS1 we were both 20, DS2 we were both 24. DD1 we were both 37!! Yes a big age gap but her big brothers doted on her.
We've just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. He always been a great husband and a devoted dad xx

Neurodiversitydoctor · 31/10/2023 17:56

DS is 19 DH was still 29 when he was born. I realise that was a while ago, we owned our own flat by the time we were 25 & 26 - ahh the noughties

maybemaybeno · 31/10/2023 17:57

We are married (not religious reasons) and TTC. DH is 24 I’m slightly younger. When any baby is born he will be 25. We’re slightly young but I wouldn’t say horrendously young and we are happy with our choice. He can’t wait to be a dad and is more excited than me tbh- there are advantages to being younger too, biologically :)

littleripper · 31/10/2023 17:59

Yes, he was 25 and has dedicated his whole life to being a great father. My friend got pregnant at 15, her bf was the same age. They were great parents, their son went to a good uni, she was a grandma at 47, they are still together.

Bobbotgegrinch · 31/10/2023 18:03

I was a father aged 24. Definitely not the plan, was firmly in the never wanting kids frame of mind at that point, but kid happened anyway.

Worked out for the best and wouldn't have changed it for the world, and I'm now quite happy to have got it out the way early, as DD turns 16 in a few days and I'm barely 40.

Had circumstances not happened though, I wouldn't have been even thinking about kids until 30

OverTheCountryClub · 31/10/2023 18:04

DH and I are now mid 30s. We got married late 20s and had first dc at 30 (me) and 29 (DH). This was very much in line with our friends.

Mumsgirls · 31/10/2023 18:04

We were 27/30 when we had first second 3 years later.
Always thought it was perfect ages, still loads of energy but as boomers had established careers and were on the property ladder. I at 27 was a management grade, having started work at 16, days when degree was rare.
realise this would be hard to achieve now

Toosad1 · 31/10/2023 18:05

My bf was 23 when we had our first and it was very much planned. We went on to have another 3 children with a bit of a gap, sadly he died at 35.

BooksAndHooks · 31/10/2023 18:06

DH was 22 when eldest was born and 27 when youngest was born.

Icefoot · 31/10/2023 18:07

I know quite a few men in their 50s (my age) who had DC in their early 20s. DS is 22 and at least 2 if his school friends are fathers, although I doubt that was part of the plan.

I think most people, not just men, are putting off parenthood into their 30s now.

TMess · 31/10/2023 18:07

DH is 35 and our oldest is 10. He was 23 when we got married.

Jk987 · 31/10/2023 18:09

Things have changed loads in a generation. The trend is to have children older for men and women but there are many on either side of the spectrum. Thank goodness for a varied world!

Topofthemountain · 31/10/2023 18:12

My nephew had his first at 18, married at 21. Eldest is now 5.

Nejnej · 31/10/2023 18:14

We were married at 28, only put off children until later because of exams in my career

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