To ask ds to leave home after this?

[wrappedalready]

I have 3 boys d.s.1 who is 23 and has moved out in the past but is back home at the moment.
I also have ds2 who is 8 and ds1 who is 6 but ds1 is a bully to the youngest, he allows middle son into his room to play PlayStation and listen to music but won't let the youngest in so he's left crying outside his room.
He is visibly irritated by youngest son for acting like any 6 year old child yet takes the 8 year old out buys him things and younger son is left in tears.
I have called him out and he says he doesn't mind ds2 but not ds1.
The youngest boys get on great when it's just them but when my adult ds is home he singles one out and then we have to deal with tears and tantrums.
I'm thinking about asking him to leave if he won't treat them the same,it really doesn't seem fair that he's bullied by his big brother in his own home at 6.

WTAF

Hes six!

Absolute nonsense Why would you?

Unkind is unkind

That was to @Mrsjayy

WTF? This thread is insane.

At 23 staying in the family home is a privilege not a right IMO. He doesn't have an automatic right to the accommodation, and he now has responsibilities to the household to keep his place. The time for bad behaviour in the household has been and gone. Part of that responsibility is being aware of the feelings of others.

So, 23 needs to treat 8 and 6 equitably, and not bully a 6 year old. It's ok to like some people more than others but it's not ok to show it like this.

You are an absolute idiot.

you’re never too young to learn. There are some incredibly annoying adults who probably wouldn’t suffer the consequences of having an unfortunate personality if they got some guidance at a younger age

Isn’t it?!
Quite honestly some of the maddest replies I’ve ever read here.

He's bloody 6!!

And the 8 year old wants to hope the younger can be bothered when the eldest leaves home

Indeed...

In fairness I think everyone should post how they get on with their siblings. Might be rather revealing

I wouldn't take all posters too seriously, especially if they have pompous names.

It seems a bit extreme to throw him out - just tell him he treats them equally. Either they're both in his room or neither. If the 6 year old is upset, take the 8 yo away from the eldest.

I'm guessing there is more to this. Or you've posted while the 6yo is upset and has been crying.

“Never too young to learn” WTAF
The 23 year old should learn if he’s a horrible spiteful prick to a small child he can find a flat and pay his own bills, AFAIC.

YANBU. As a younger sibling who was connastntly excluded by my older sibling and cousins (older by 1-2 years only), I still remember it being incredibly hurtful and upsetting even though I had other friends that I was close to. It also damaged our adult relationship which is much cooler than I would have wanted. I'm 45 now and am extremely protective of my kids' sibling relationship and would not allow this in my house.

Not wanting to play with a 6 year old and let him in his room is fair enough if he has legitimate reasons like 6 year old doesn't respect his belongings or play nicely/fairly.
You risk destroying relationship between older son and 8 year old if you come in with a both or neither attitude, as i feel your oldest son will chose neither, and you'll end up having an upset 8 year old instead of/as well as the 6 year old.

That's not OK, but I'd aim to change the behaviour with a threat or kicking him out before actually kicking him out, but if it comes to it, fine.

That's a fucked up dynamic and I'd be furious with 23yo. Leaving a 6yo crying outside your room so you can play with an 8yo? What an idiot the 23yo is.

Your eldest needs to appreciate the impact his actions will have on a 6yo and take responsibility for them. He doesn't seem to have any empathy for 6yo. If he won't do that, he shouldn't be sharing 6yo's home.

23yo is old enough to be a father himself, you need to sit him down and have a very stern word about how children need a home where adults show love and fairness, and if he can't do that then he can find another home.

OP already said he is lovely and not annoying. What is your problem? Again, sincerely hope you're not an actual parent.

My mother, in her eighties, has a friend who keeps asking which of her two children is her favourite. We are like chalk and cheese but both have a very close relationship with our mum.
I had thought the batty old lady was a rarity if not unique, but it seems that some folks breed more to account for the expendable ones that they can cut loose if they find them 'irritating'.

@wrappedalready I’m with you, a grown adult man bullying a 6 year old, it is time for him to move out.

For the record some of the responses to this thread show just how much a mixed bag MN is in terms of advice. It is blindingly obvious this is bad from an adult male, if someone cannot see that then they have somewhere along the way developed deep tolerances for really bad behaviour from men.

Even if he’s a complete pest, he shouldn’t be getting picked on by A GROWN MAN.

The brother bullying him is 23, not 10.

You're obviously on the wind up so I wish I'd never responded. More fool me

OP, as a mother, isn’t going to see the annoying quirks though

I’m deadly serious