Do I win the prize for the worst freebie ever on sparks card?

[OchonAgusOchonOh]

Just opened the M&S app and saw the little 1 beside Sparks.

Oh goodie. Will it be free chocolate or percy pigs? Or even 20% off women's clothes?

Nope. It was:

Drum roll.

A free paper bag!!!! Be still my beating heart, I can't contain my excitement.

So, aibu in thinking I have just received the worst ever freebie or can you beat that?

I had the paper bag.
And now for my birthday they are giving me a packet of biscuits 🙄

The free gift the other week was cat treats. And, yes, they seemed affronted that I didn’t want them for my nonexistent cat.

A REUSABLE paper bag....! 😆

I never got anything even faintly appealing (10p off a multipack of massive knickers or something once), so I deleted my Sparks app. I would have LOVED a paper bag.

The biggest irony being that it's nowhere near as reusable as the plastic bags. I still have some of the soft, gusseted non-bag for life ones with the black and white checkered pattern on them. The paper ones are trashed the minute they're rained on and you can't wash sticky stuff out of them.

Ooh. I'm getting excited now.

I've just cancelled my meetings at work tomorrow so I can go and collect it.

In fairness, you need the bag to carry the biscuits.

I'll sell you mine for 20p.

I was a bit disappointed with this…

Ooh I’ve just checked and have a free farmhouse loaf!!

60p off low alcohol wine? Sparks mate, you need to be paying me 60p to be drinking that shite. Per sip.

I got a free loaf of bread once

I’m exactly the same. I think they know I’m a sure thing, and that they don’t have to lure me in.

Ok. So it's a toss up between you and the 10% off kale juice. They are both really, really, shite.

I got the choice of a wooden spoon or a tea towel from Ocado earlier and I was bloody delighted at the prospect of either 😂 MUCH better than a paper bag!

It's so insulting 😂

So which did you choose?

I like the stern warning about its being a single use offer, OP-- lest you be that most shameless sort of CF, who would try to help themselves to TWO free paper bags.😡

After about 3 years of answering "No, because it's absolutely rubbish", M&S assistants seem to have stopped asking me if I have a Sparks card. I just can't be arsed with the level of engagement it demands for the potential reward. Mind you, all the schemes are a lot shitter than they used to be.

And WHY can't you add your receipt to your card if you forget to swipe at the till. Forgot to swipe and it was the 6th one on the card to get a free coffee next time... other shops let you do it later so why not expensive m and s

Also I have no freebie

Goodness OP, I'm not sure how you can contain yourself.

I seem to fare fairly well with the sparks card. I do shop fairly often but never spend much (small baskets of £10-20 and seem to get freebies fairly often. I've currently got a pack of free percy's and a bakery item to claim, last month got a free loaf of bread. Not bad for a free loyalty card.

I missed that. I was obviously too excited to read the small print.

In fairness, I would need smelling salts to cope with the swooning excitement of two bags. So really, it's a health and safety precaution, limiting me to one.

Could we please see a picture of the paper bag once it’s collected?

Do they recommend which chips would go with that steak?

What sticky stuff?

Actually, I don’t think I want to know.