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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you just don't do this to a child

333 replies

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 15:25

My daughter's whole class go swimming every Friday. They get the bus to the swimming pool which is about 15 minutes away.
On Friday they were finishing up their swimming (it's the last thing of the day) and the teacher then said that everyone had to stay in the pool except my daughter. Turns out one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool straight after. My daughter then had to get in the bus with the teacher and they came back to the school. I was there for the bus getting back and asked why my daughter was the only one on the bus and that's when the teacher told me. I understand not everyone is invited to everyone's party but would there not have been a better way of doing this? My daughter and I am very upset and I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable. All opinions will be considered. Thank you
Oh and my daughter is 6 for context

OP posts:
capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:37

Maybe the troll hunters could go elsewhere now since hq have commented and reinstated the thread .

VisionsOfSplendour · 30/10/2023 18:37

schools must be very different in Northern Ireland ia all I can say, the organization required to get all the party parents to agree to their children being left at the pool rather than being taken back to school is mind boggling. Why is a school getting involved in the first place?

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:37

Thank you to everyone who has given my helpful advice. I am going to email the school this evening with all the details and see where we go from there

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:38

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:37

Maybe the troll hunters could go elsewhere now since hq have commented and reinstated the thread .

Thank you

OP posts:
Lolabear38 · 30/10/2023 18:38

If this did actually happen, I would seriously be reporting the school for a severe safeguarding issue/ failure . The teacher/ school absolutely should not have been allowed to leave all the class at a swimming pool. They are responsible for the children from the second they enter the school until they leave at the end of the day - in this instance the official end of the day would have been when the children returned to school.

Presumably at the end of the swimming lesson there is sufficient time for the students to be taken back to school before the end of the school day, so that they can be picked up by their parents or guardians. Therefore, if they were left at the swimming pool, there must’ve been a crossover period between them being left there with the birthday students parents, and the end of the school day. The school would have been liable for the safety and well-being of the children during this time, and if they really did leave them there, they have massively massively failed in their responsibilities. Report them.

SuddenlyOld · 30/10/2023 18:39

When I was 10, in 1976, all the girls in my class went to another girl's birthday party. All the girls, except me. Made worse because it was also my birthday. I was so sad that day, couldn't understand it, especially as she'd invited girls she didn't like. I told myself it was because she must have thought I would be having my own birthday party. I wasn't and my mother never celebrated our birthdays. We'd get a present then the day would be forgotten. But yes it does happen, people really are that cruel.

So I can understand how your dd must feel @Notanotherone8765 . Perhaps you could treat her and make her feel special. I would also speak to the head about how the school handled it. I guess there wasn't much the teacher could do as they had to get on the bus. But hopefully the teacher reassured your dd

Rosiiee · 30/10/2023 18:40

Woa OP! I’d also be having a word with the girls parents. I mean sure they might not have intended to hurt your DD’s feelings but the fact is they did. How’s your DD holding up? Poor thing. It’d break my heart!

LadyGrinningSoul85 · 30/10/2023 18:40

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Notimeforaname · 30/10/2023 18:41

No school gets time off for 'Halloween'

Yep its true. In Ireland we get mid term break at Halloween

Sherrystrull · 30/10/2023 18:42

VisionsOfSplendour · 30/10/2023 18:37

schools must be very different in Northern Ireland ia all I can say, the organization required to get all the party parents to agree to their children being left at the pool rather than being taken back to school is mind boggling. Why is a school getting involved in the first place?

Completely agree with this. It would have been a categorical no from my school. The children would have had to be released earlier than the end of the day and taken all of their school bags and lunch boxes to the pool with them. Even if this was ever allowed to happen my school would never single out a child.

Please complain.

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:42

Rosiiee · 30/10/2023 18:40

Woa OP! I’d also be having a word with the girls parents. I mean sure they might not have intended to hurt your DD’s feelings but the fact is they did. How’s your DD holding up? Poor thing. It’d break my heart!

She's not doing well to be honest and I can totally understand why. I'm also getting a bit sick of people saying this didn't happen. This is my daughter's life right now. I will be speaking to the girls parents too, just incase in the off chance there was a mix up, but it all seemed very well executed, as the teacher knew to bring my dd back on the bus

OP posts:
Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:42

OP, this is horrendous. To leave Foundation Stage children in the pool? In most PS I am familiar with, swimming starts in P6 which is age 9/10. So at least two adults must have been supervising the group (EA guidance) until the parent took over. How did they get back to school? I'm involved in safeguarding (not my job) and this is unthinkable in our school.

yellowlane · 30/10/2023 18:42

Most kids in NI have this week off. I do find it a huge safeguarding issue that a teacher left kids at a swimming pool with a parent. I'd have thought that children needed to return to school first so they can be handed over. Regardless it's a really mean thing to exclude one child and the teacher should not have facilitated it.

Namerequired · 30/10/2023 18:43

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:32

No, they get a whole week. Another poster has confirmed this. Probably classed as half term, but we always just say Halloween holidays

Show quote history

Yes we get a whole week, half term/Halloween holidays

Itsagreatdaytosavelives · 30/10/2023 18:44

I'm a school governor in northern ireland (and yes we are off for halloween/ half term) pm me if you want help re letter of complaint amongst 100 other things that you could be doing

Mumof2teens79 · 30/10/2023 18:44

Where I live in England the minimum age to attend a swimming party is 8, all attendees must be at least 8, plus have sufficient adults in the water, for 30 kids I am guessing 3 or 4
And a safety briefing before hand

So I am really surprised that they just let a class of 6yr olds stay in the water.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 30/10/2023 18:44

It wouldn’t have cost anymore really to include your child. Really poor behaviour. I’d consider removing her and finding somewhere better

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:44

Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:42

OP, this is horrendous. To leave Foundation Stage children in the pool? In most PS I am familiar with, swimming starts in P6 which is age 9/10. So at least two adults must have been supervising the group (EA guidance) until the parent took over. How did they get back to school? I'm involved in safeguarding (not my job) and this is unthinkable in our school.

I didn't know this. When the school takes them swimming only one teacher goes with them for a class of 15

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:45

Itsagreatdaytosavelives · 30/10/2023 18:44

I'm a school governor in northern ireland (and yes we are off for halloween/ half term) pm me if you want help re letter of complaint amongst 100 other things that you could be doing

Thank you

OP posts:
halloweenhalfterm · 30/10/2023 18:45

Kids in NI are definitely off this week for halloween half term - they always get the week of halloween. Unless I imagined all the kids in the playpark at the back of my house today.

Rosiiee · 30/10/2023 18:45

@yellowlane i don’t think there’s a safeguarding issue. If the students parents have given their consent and it’s outside of school time then there’s no longer a duty of care.

DS’s school has done something similar to this whereby they had a picnic day and then the whole class stayed at the park for a birthday party. All the parents gave explicit consent though.

viques · 30/10/2023 18:45

“Off for Halloween” 😧

nope. That doesn’t happen either. Off for half term maybe, but not for Halloween!

Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:45

OP - are you able to say which County this happened in?

ladyofshertonabbas · 30/10/2023 18:46

That’s awful! Poor girl.

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotMen · 30/10/2023 18:46

The party persons parents obviously asked the school to keep the kids at the pool.
They should not have done this, it is not up to the school to facilitate a private party.
They definitely should not have agreed once they were told one person would be going home alone.

I would be tempted to mention to the school how upsetting this was for your daughter, highlighted even more by their actions.