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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you just don't do this to a child

333 replies

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 15:25

My daughter's whole class go swimming every Friday. They get the bus to the swimming pool which is about 15 minutes away.
On Friday they were finishing up their swimming (it's the last thing of the day) and the teacher then said that everyone had to stay in the pool except my daughter. Turns out one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool straight after. My daughter then had to get in the bus with the teacher and they came back to the school. I was there for the bus getting back and asked why my daughter was the only one on the bus and that's when the teacher told me. I understand not everyone is invited to everyone's party but would there not have been a better way of doing this? My daughter and I am very upset and I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable. All opinions will be considered. Thank you
Oh and my daughter is 6 for context

OP posts:
TripleDaisySummer · 30/10/2023 18:46

I do find it a huge safeguarding issue that a teacher left kids at a swimming pool with a parent. I'd have thought that children needed to return to school first so they can be handed over.

That's why I asked if the parents/guardian's were at the pool ie handed over there because otherwise how could they hand over the kids in school day to another parent.

Plus as PP said as it's half term bags and lunch boxes would have to go with the kids to the pool - which is odd school would facilitate and more so as they'd have advanced warning one child was being excluded which you'd think would raise questions about how bad an idea this all was.

Rosiiee · 30/10/2023 18:46

On a side note, why are people getting so hung up on the ‘off for Halloween’? It’s midterm and Halloween happens to fall tomorrow?

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:47

Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:45

OP - are you able to say which County this happened in?

I would rather not to be honest, just for privacy reasons, but anyone who knows Northern Ireland and this county probably wouldn't be surprised

OP posts:
enchantedsquirrelwood · 30/10/2023 18:47

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 30/10/2023 18:28

No school gets time off for 'Halloween' .... is this why it's getting treated like Christmas Day!?

The overall story sounds very unlikely to me too but there are a lot of areas in the UK that have half term this week (and indeed which had it the week before last, too - it has varied a lot this year).

housethatbuiltme · 30/10/2023 18:47

I really struggle to believe this happened for so many reasons.

Schools legally have to hand children off to their parents, they can't just leave them somewhere.

Even if the parents where all there to be with their kids then it was still within school time so they also can't hand over a whole class early just for someones private event.

I also know of no school that allows exclusion of one child, its classed as bullying and taken very seriously. You can host parties outside of school and exclude people (dick move) but the school will refuse any involvement in it on their time.

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/10/2023 18:48

Assume op means not at school all week due to half term

Like my dd is off

Two bloody weeks now for
Oct half term

Notimeforaname · 30/10/2023 18:48

Off for Halloween” 😧

nope. That doesn’t happen either. Off for half term maybe, but not for Halloween

Yep. That's what we call it.
I find it hilarious you think you know better.
We call it "Halloween holidays". Or say "the schools are closed for Halloween"
It's fine.

Notimeforaname · 30/10/2023 18:48

Off for Halloween” 😧

nope. That doesn’t happen either. Off for half term maybe, but not for Halloween

Yep. That's what we call it.
I find it hilarious you think you know better.
We call it "Halloween holidays". Or say "the schools are closed for Halloween"
It's fine.

TillyTrifle · 30/10/2023 18:49

When I was at primary school, around the age of 10 so mid nineties, a girl in my year (very small village school) invited the rest of our year group to her bowling party after school. They were all allowed to leave early for the party leaving only me there from our whole year group (7 kids). Our teacher even commented to me while I was alone in the classroom that it was a bit off to invite everyone else. Her mum was school secretary so whether that had anything who knows, but why they allowed this I have no idea. I was upset but my mum was utterly furious. At the time I blamed the daughter who was a bullying cow outside of that incident, but looking back now I wonder what was wrong with a) the complete bitch of a mum to facilitate such a nasty incident, b) the school for allowing it, and also c) why my mum didn’t raise merry hell with the school for allowing it after she found out.

I would have hoped that 30 years later stuff like this would be more clamped down on but given my own experience I don’t find this story nearly as hard to believe as others, sadly.

halloweenhalfterm · 30/10/2023 18:49

viques · 30/10/2023 18:45

“Off for Halloween” 😧

nope. That doesn’t happen either. Off for half term maybe, but not for Halloween!

I have always said my kids are off for Halloween.

They've always had their half term at Halloween.

When I was at school, we got 3 days but my kids always got a full week and it was always the week of Halloween.

I have never in my life said it was half term at this time of year, I'd always say off for Halloween. Just like I'd say off for may week the week in may that they got.

I would only say half term at February half term.

I'm from Northern Ireland.

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:50

Why the nitpicking over what the half term holiday is referred to ? This place is getting worse for bullying and troll hunting

If you don't believe something report it . The fact hq have reinstated it means they've investigated and are satisfied it's not a trolling post

What's wrong with people ?!

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:51

I can't believe a school allowed a child's birthday party during school hours. Iv never known anyone to throw a kids party during the school day

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:52

Thank you to everyone who has been helpful. But we are going round in circles now, saying kids don't get off for Halloween etc and it didn't happen. It did, that's why I posted and I was just looking for some advice. For anyone who says it's not real, I really do hope none of your children ever have to go through something similar.

I will go now and start writing my email to the school.

I'm stressed out enough without people trying to belittle me and say I'm lying

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 30/10/2023 18:52

Saschka · 30/10/2023 18:26

It was a very involved lie! Apparently she organised the 9 year olds into three teams… total fabrication, apparently it was an entirely uneventful journey home.

Show quote history

I would have loved this as a 9 year old !! How exciting!!

Tearsofamermaid · 30/10/2023 18:52

This is one of the worst things I’ve ever read regarding a school’s/other parents’ treatment of a child - truly heartbreaking. I would be livid in your shoes and I actually think I might consider removing my child from the school. Your poor, poor DD. Bad enough for a parent to behave in this despicable way, but for the school to facilitate it?! It shouldn’t matter that your DD doesn’t get on with hers, if someone is otherwise inviting the whole class to a party then they should include everyone. We had a whole class birthday do a few months ago and didn’t leave out any children, even the one or two that my DD actively dislikes.

Glassofwino · 30/10/2023 18:52

I would definitely start by speaking to the school and if you have any mum friends in the class just maybe speaking to them about it as well as your poor DD, it definitely wasn’t safe to leave 6 year olds in a pool!

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:52

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:51

I can't believe a school allowed a child's birthday party during school hours. Iv never known anyone to throw a kids party during the school day

I assumed this was the last lesson on a Friday and the party was straight after so not during the school day

Pool parties do happen after school

TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:54

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:51

I can't believe a school allowed a child's birthday party during school hours. Iv never known anyone to throw a kids party during the school day

She clearly said it was the END of the school day.

itsmyp4rty · 30/10/2023 18:54

Well I guess the fact that people don't seem to be able to believe that this happened means that it is a really unbelievable thing to happen! Terrible behaviour by the school.

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:54

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:52

I assumed this was the last lesson on a Friday and the party was straight after so not during the school day

Pool parties do happen after school

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But a swimming lesson wouldn't go to the end of the day as the children have to have time to get changed and back to school for pickup. If school ends usually at 3.30 the swimming lessons wouldn't be booked until 3.30

Growlybear83 · 30/10/2023 18:56

Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:30

I'm in NI and yes, schools do get off for Halloween. One week over the period when the 31st falls.

The week off has nothing whatsoever to do with Hallowe'en. It is the usual half term break that all state schools have had since before I started school in the early 1960s, long before anyone in most parts of the country had even heard of Hallowe'en, let alone celebrated it in any way. It happens that hallowe'en falls in half term week in parts of the country. In other parts of the country, schools had their half term break last week, and in recent years, a few schools have a two week half term break.

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:56

TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:54

She clearly said it was the END of the school day.

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A swimming lesson isn't going to end as the same time as pick up children need to get changed and back to school there will be a minimum of 30 minutes for this

halloweenhalfterm · 30/10/2023 18:57

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:54

But a swimming lesson wouldn't go to the end of the day as the children have to have time to get changed and back to school for pickup. If school ends usually at 3.30 the swimming lessons wouldn't be booked until 3.30

Show quote history

Rural school in NI. Used to pick the kids up from PE - last lesson on a Tuesday - from the local leisure centre, not the school.

Swimming was a Thursday morning and the kids were all dropped off at the leisure centre.

Differentstarts · 30/10/2023 18:58

halloweenhalfterm · 30/10/2023 18:57

Rural school in NI. Used to pick the kids up from PE - last lesson on a Tuesday - from the local leisure centre, not the school.

Swimming was a Thursday morning and the kids were all dropped off at the leisure centre.

Show quote history

But op said her daughter was brought back to school on the bus

ColleenDonaghy · 30/10/2023 18:59

halloweenhalfterm · 30/10/2023 18:49

I have always said my kids are off for Halloween.

They've always had their half term at Halloween.

When I was at school, we got 3 days but my kids always got a full week and it was always the week of Halloween.

I have never in my life said it was half term at this time of year, I'd always say off for Halloween. Just like I'd say off for may week the week in may that they got.

I would only say half term at February half term.

I'm from Northern Ireland.

Show quote history

Yup same here. I'm 40 and we always had a week long midterm break at this time of year, always including Halloween, and yes we always said "off for Halloween".

My daughter in primary school in NI is off for Halloween now.

It's literally the least remarkable thing in OP's story.

Dying to know the school. Assume it's private, not many private primary schools here. Very very poor of them.