Page 13 | To think you just don't do this to a child

Notanotherone8765 · 2023-10-30T15:25:03+00:00

My daughter's whole class go swimming every Friday. They get the bus to the swimming pool which is about 15 minutes away. On Friday they were finishing up their swimming (it's the last thing of the day) and the teacher then said that everyone had to stay in the pool except my daughter. Turns out one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool straight after. My daughter then had to get in the bus with the teacher and they came back to the school. I was there for the bus getting back and asked why my daughter was the only one on the bus and that's when the teacher told me. I understand not everyone is invited to everyone's party but would there not have been a better way of doing this? My daughter and I am very upset and I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable. All opinions will be considered. Thank you Oh and my daughter is 6 for context

smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 30/10/2023 22:49

Newtonianmechanics · 30/10/2023 15:28

I think it's wrong of the school getting involved in parties like this.

Also a safeguarding issue with a student and just one staff member.

Gosh only 4 posts til we got to a made up safeguarding issue. Classic mumsnet

eggandonion · 30/10/2023 22:54

If the Catholic school had been off on the Monday and the CoI wasn't the angst would have been more extreme. I think a lot of the days of obligation stopped being school closures when the school year was standardised?
Sometimes moving schools is not that straightforward in small towns.

Wrinkleflint · 30/10/2023 23:59

Sometimes moving schools is not that straightforward in small towns.

Very true @eggandonion.
This might not be a straightforward suggestion to implement

Nepmarthiturn · 31/10/2023 02:53

Goodness, this is appalling OP. That the child's mother could do that to your daughter and live with herself, that the school could knowingly and deliberately agree to facilitate bullying planned in advance, the safeguarding risks as well, your poor DD. 😔 I hope she is as ok as she can be in such an awful situation. This is the stuff of nightmares, like an anxiety dream, not something that should ever happen to a child in real life and that the school agreed and facilitated it is mind boggling. I'd come down on them like a ton of bricks with the codes of practice, safeguarding guidelines, look up their anti-bullying policies and quote that and ask them to explain why a teacher not only failed to stop bullying but was involved in it. The teacher and the mother who arranged this with them and the head and the head all need to apologise in person to your DD in a sincere manner and the mother should explain - with her DD in the room listening - why this was an awful thing to do and nobody should treat other people like this and her child should witness her apology to your DD. And then the teacher needs additional training on appropriate behaviour as a minimum/ probably suspending. And replacement teacher should implement an absolutely zero tolerance policy to bullying and speak to the whole class about why excluding people in such a way will not be tolerated. If the Head will not take appropriate action speak to the Governors and if they will not then report to Ofsted and the Department for Education.

Sayitaintso33 · 31/10/2023 05:36

HeartofAss · 30/10/2023 15:34

Why does the mum automatically get all the blame? Why not 'What a dick of a Dad for allowing this to happen"?

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Women usually carry the mental load.

Newtonianmechanics · 31/10/2023 07:45

Gosh only 4 posts til we got to a made up safeguarding issue. Classic mumsnet

There are plenty of posts explaining wht this is not an overreaction. Teacher also has to protect themselves.
It's not made up. I can think of several over the years I have been teaching.

Wrinkleflint · 31/10/2023 07:58

Umm, the school has absolutely no say in what the other mother does or doesn't do @Nepmarthiturn ?
The apology scenario you've come up with is never going to happen. It was very cruel but the school's problem is they went along with it. They can only apologise for their own actions.

RandomButtons · 31/10/2023 08:04

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 30/10/2023 18:26

I wish it were nonsense. I really do. But this is real life to my myself and my daughter right now and now they are off for Halloween, which I suppose is a blessing as she doesn't have to be in school for a week now

Wait.... they are off school for HALLOWEEN?? Why?

The whole of Wales is on half term this week.

JockTamsonsBairns · 31/10/2023 08:06

Newtonianmechanics · 31/10/2023 07:45

Gosh only 4 posts til we got to a made up safeguarding issue. Classic mumsnet

There are plenty of posts explaining wht this is not an overreaction. Teacher also has to protect themselves.
It's not made up. I can think of several over the years I have been teaching.

It happens frequently in tiny village schools.

My DD used to travel to the pool in the car with her teacher!

HeartofAss · 31/10/2023 08:17

Sayitaintso33 · 31/10/2023 05:36

Women usually carry the mental load.

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Yes, women usually do. When assigning blame we can choose whether to assign it to the person who usually carries the mental load or the person who does nothing at all. Let's NOT choose to always assign blame to the mum

Londonrach1 · 31/10/2023 08:19

I'm shocked. School takes all children back. The party is separate and surely the children need to returned to school

Londonrach1 · 31/10/2023 08:21

My dd is off this week in the Midlands....

Wrinkleflint · 31/10/2023 08:27

HeartofAss · 31/10/2023 08:17

Yes, women usually do. When assigning blame we can choose whether to assign it to the person who usually carries the mental load or the person who does nothing at all. Let's NOT choose to always assign blame to the mum

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I think the birthday child's mother ( rather than father) was also blamed because OP mentioned that the mum was at the pool when the bus left for the school (with her dd on it).
Presumabily then she was the one in charge, the party planner (as usual!)
There was no mention of the birthday child's dad being there, which is probably why ire is focused on the mum.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 31/10/2023 08:31

FlowerPower12345 · 30/10/2023 19:14

Why are posters who aren't from Northern Ireland saying that the Northern Irish posters and the OP are essentially lying about getting a week off for Halloween? [Hmm]

I'm also front NI, and yes, we absolutely DO get a week off for the Halloween break, and that's what we call it Halloween break. Why are people saying this is lies when plenty of Northern Irish posters have confirmed it to be true?

Just because something is done a certain way in England doesn't mean the rest of the UK does it that way.

Now you all know that schools in NI get a week off for Halloween... can we stop with the "absolutely no school gets a WHOLE WEEK off for Halloween, OP is a liar!!😱" and actually give the op some useful advice.

There are plenty of schools off this week in England.

In my area it was last week.

In some areas of England it was the week before.

Half term holiday times vary, which is probably good for people who want to go on holiday but less good for the travel companies.

Some areas of England (Cheshire) even get two weeks off at October half term.

It wasn't the Halloween half term that I found unlikely, but the wider scenario. It does seem really unbelievable that teachers would facilitate bullying of this kind in this day and age.

FlowerPower12345 · 31/10/2023 09:48

enchantedsquirrelwood · 31/10/2023 08:31

There are plenty of schools off this week in England.

In my area it was last week.

In some areas of England it was the week before.

Half term holiday times vary, which is probably good for people who want to go on holiday but less good for the travel companies.

Some areas of England (Cheshire) even get two weeks off at October half term.

It wasn't the Halloween half term that I found unlikely, but the wider scenario. It does seem really unbelievable that teachers would facilitate bullying of this kind in this day and age.

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Yes, but my post was asking why are there poster's saying that schools can't possibly be off for Halloween, when in NI that's exactly why they are off. Halloween break. There were posters making the OP and other NI posters out to be liars.

Mumof2teens79 · 31/10/2023 10:05

No-one is disbelieving that the school in the OP are off this week....the thing that seems odd to those of us in England especially is that OP said "off for Halloween"
This isn't a phrase ever used in England (where most of UK MNs are) and Halloween doesn't always fall in the October half-term.

Combined with some other stuff it just makes the whole post read a little strangely

Changednamesforthis22 · 31/10/2023 10:13

I agree with you. That's why I said clearly 'even then the school shouldn't have facilitated the situation in this way'

ColleenDonaghy · 31/10/2023 10:17

Mumof2teens79 · 31/10/2023 10:05

No-one is disbelieving that the school in the OP are off this week....the thing that seems odd to those of us in England especially is that OP said "off for Halloween"
This isn't a phrase ever used in England (where most of UK MNs are) and Halloween doesn't always fall in the October half-term.

Combined with some other stuff it just makes the whole post read a little strangely

Yes but the reluctance to just accept that some people use different phrases and have different customs - even within the UK - has derailed the entire thread. It's not like she said they're off for a month for October Flib Flob - a week off for Halloween surely isn't such a crazy concept to make people think "liar" rather than "different".

I agree the situation with the party reads as implausible, but MN don't often reinstate threads, so perhaps at that point everyone could have just taken OP at face value. Truth can indeed be stranger than fiction on occasion. Relentless nit-picking accomplished nothing other than driving her away.

Mumof2teens79 · 31/10/2023 10:20

ColleenDonaghy · 31/10/2023 10:17

Yes but the reluctance to just accept that some people use different phrases and have different customs - even within the UK - has derailed the entire thread. It's not like she said they're off for a month for October Flib Flob - a week off for Halloween surely isn't such a crazy concept to make people think "liar" rather than "different".

I agree the situation with the party reads as implausible, but MN don't often reinstate threads, so perhaps at that point everyone could have just taken OP at face value. Truth can indeed be stranger than fiction on occasion. Relentless nit-picking accomplished nothing other than driving her away.

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But is it the same people refusing to accept, or different people all having same reaction to the first post, and then others chipping in with "my kids are off this week" to add confusion?

ColleenDonaghy · 31/10/2023 10:24

Mumof2teens79 · 31/10/2023 10:20

But is it the same people refusing to accept, or different people all having same reaction to the first post, and then others chipping in with "my kids are off this week" to add confusion?

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Well if you're saying people should RTFT I fully agree.

And I do think it's weird that so many people determined OP must be lying simple because she used a different description for school holidays.

winniethepooped · 31/10/2023 10:45

Mumof2teens79 · 31/10/2023 10:05

No-one is disbelieving that the school in the OP are off this week....the thing that seems odd to those of us in England especially is that OP said "off for Halloween"
This isn't a phrase ever used in England (where most of UK MNs are) and Halloween doesn't always fall in the October half-term.

Combined with some other stuff it just makes the whole post read a little strangely

How anyone has drawn a conclusion that she's lying based off the fact she's called it being "off for Halloween" is literally beyond my understanding.

Strangest responses I've ever read on a thread.

It's a bit like an American posting something and calling Autumn "Fall" or nappies "diapers" and being branded an outright liar (about an entirely separate issue) because majority of MN are "from England" apparently

I think OP has left but if you're still reading - I am so sorry for what happened to your little girl. Investigate it and go further - it should not have happened.

ASimpleLampoon · 31/10/2023 10:58

The people getting confused about how holidays happen around Halloween are probably in England where half term holiday dates probably differ.

I'm in Wales and in our county autumn half term holiday always falls on Halloween week so I knew what you meant even if we don't call it that.

Lilyt14 · 31/10/2023 11:05

This is awful OP, the issue is more that the school have facilitated this request from the parents of the child who had the party. I’d definitely raise this via the appropriate channels at school (complaint to head teacher and then board of governors if you are not satisfied with the response.

Opinionsprettyplease · 31/10/2023 11:14

ASimpleLampoon · 31/10/2023 10:58

The people getting confused about how holidays happen around Halloween are probably in England where half term holiday dates probably differ.

I'm in Wales and in our county autumn half term holiday always falls on Halloween week so I knew what you meant even if we don't call it that.

..the people getting confused about how holidays happen around Halloween are small minded and stupid.

VisionsOfSplendour · 31/10/2023 11:53

ASimpleLampoon · 31/10/2023 10:58

The people getting confused about how holidays happen around Halloween are probably in England where half term holiday dates probably differ.

I'm in Wales and in our county autumn half term holiday always falls on Halloween week so I knew what you meant even if we don't call it that.

I dont think it's so much that people don't know that half terms are different it was that the OP said that schools had a week off for Halloween which you've got to admit isnt something that English posters in the main are going to have come across before

I don't know if there are a disproportionate number of Irish posters but I've noticed this type of confusion a lot more recently when it isn't made clear in the OP