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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think you just don't do this to a child

333 replies

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 15:25

My daughter's whole class go swimming every Friday. They get the bus to the swimming pool which is about 15 minutes away.
On Friday they were finishing up their swimming (it's the last thing of the day) and the teacher then said that everyone had to stay in the pool except my daughter. Turns out one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool straight after. My daughter then had to get in the bus with the teacher and they came back to the school. I was there for the bus getting back and asked why my daughter was the only one on the bus and that's when the teacher told me. I understand not everyone is invited to everyone's party but would there not have been a better way of doing this? My daughter and I am very upset and I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable. All opinions will be considered. Thank you
Oh and my daughter is 6 for context

OP posts:
Namerequired · 30/10/2023 18:30

No school I know would facilitate this. Both the parents and school are very wrong. It’s cruel. They should have took all the kids back to school and then left it to the parents from there. Surely the teacher was horrified by this? Though as I say, no teacher I know would have allowed it.

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:30

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:29

Clearly the comment from hq means they do NOT believe this is a troll thread . Sometimes things like this happen

My son gave the class Xmas cards when he was 7 and the entire class tore them up and binned them . When I raises it with the TA she asked what she was supposed to do

MY reply was teach children that it was incredibly unkind ?

I'm sorry this happened op.
Firstly could it be an oversight ?
Whose party was it and does your dd get along with them ?

I'd speak to school . Get some clarity .

My daughter doesn't get along with the young girl who's party it was, so I understand why she wouldn't be invited. I just don't think it was handled well by all involved

OP posts:
Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:30

I'm in NI and yes, schools do get off for Halloween. One week over the period when the 31st falls.

Trevorton · 30/10/2023 18:30

LilyLemonade · 30/10/2023 15:27

That is absolutely awful! Unbelievable almost. Wonder how the school could have allowed that.

This. Sorry OP I am not saying I disbelieve you but I find it difficult to understand how the teacher could have allowed this to happen. Whilst not their issue they should not have backed up any instructions from parents and allowed all children to stay in pool and effectively at the party.

TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:31

I think OP means it’s half term when Halloween falls, im in north England and it’s half term here too.

Nanaof1 · 30/10/2023 18:31

This reply has been deleted

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That's exactly my first thought! The fact that MNHQ thinks it is real shows that people can be so thoughtless (the school and the parent that allowed their kid to behave like this) that it boggles the mind and since we would not do it, it belies explanation.

It's cruel and the school going along with that makes me incredibly angry.

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/10/2023 18:31

Maybe things are different Ireland

But if mn have checked op out and reinstated let's stop saying it didn't happen

And I can't quote /reply to a quote but I put bitch mum as tbh they are the ones who usually do the party organisation

CesareBorgia · 30/10/2023 18:31

Google says NI schools get two days for Halloween, 31.10 and 1.11.

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:32

Trevorton · 30/10/2023 18:30

This. Sorry OP I am not saying I disbelieve you but I find it difficult to understand how the teacher could have allowed this to happen. Whilst not their issue they should not have backed up any instructions from parents and allowed all children to stay in pool and effectively at the party.

Show quote history

I honestly can't believe the teacher facilitated this either. I'm annoyed at all involved

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:32

CesareBorgia · 30/10/2023 18:31

Google says NI schools get two days for Halloween, 31.10 and 1.11.

It’s half term… why are people struggling so much with this?

Jewelspun · 30/10/2023 18:32

Sorry if I've missed an update but is there there the possibility you didn't receive the invite?

Liv999 · 30/10/2023 18:32

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We are in the Republic of Ireland and the schools get a week off for Halloween, obviously the same in Northern Ireland

TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:32

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:32

I honestly can't believe the teacher facilitated this either. I'm annoyed at all involved

Show quote history

Are you going to complain? Did you complain at the time?

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:32

CesareBorgia · 30/10/2023 18:31

Google says NI schools get two days for Halloween, 31.10 and 1.11.

No, they get a whole week. Another poster has confirmed this. Probably classed as half term, but we always just say Halloween holidays

OP posts:
Riapia · 30/10/2023 18:33

Possible but highly improbable.

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:33

Ok well that makes more sense as to why she wasn't invited if they don't get along

But yes , insensitive.

Does your dd get excluded a lot ? Maybe it's time to speak to the school. My son has Asperger's and wasn't a popular child when he was little but as he matured he found "his people" as it were .

It was I think more difficult for me than him as he was very stoic about it all while it broke my heart.

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:33

TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:32

Are you going to complain? Did you complain at the time?

Show quote history

Honestly I was in shock on Friday, but I will be complaining on Monday morning

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 30/10/2023 18:34

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:33

Honestly I was in shock on Friday, but I will be complaining on Monday morning

Show quote history

I’d email your complaint in now while your still freshly mad, schools usually pick up emails over half term near me.

TripleDaisySummer · 30/10/2023 18:34

Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:33

Honestly I was in shock on Friday, but I will be complaining on Monday morning

Show quote history

Probably the only thing to do - and ask if she is being excluded and bullied more generally.

DeireadhFomhair · 30/10/2023 18:35

This reply has been deleted

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My school does. Well it's not for Halloween, but it is always the week of Halloween.

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:35

capabilityfrowns · 30/10/2023 18:33

Ok well that makes more sense as to why she wasn't invited if they don't get along

But yes , insensitive.

Does your dd get excluded a lot ? Maybe it's time to speak to the school. My son has Asperger's and wasn't a popular child when he was little but as he matured he found "his people" as it were .

It was I think more difficult for me than him as he was very stoic about it all while it broke my heart.

Yes I can understand why she want invited, I just don't like the way it was handled as it made her stand out in front of everyone. This is the first time she's been excluded

OP posts:
Mumofoneandone · 30/10/2023 18:35

Look at school policies, some may have been broken. Absolutely shocking and totally inappropriate for school to be facilitating this, particularly when a single child is so obviously left out.
Surely this is a massive safe guarding issue both for your teacher and other children. May need to contact head/governors/Designated Safeguarding Lead in school. Or LADO if you don't get anywhere with the school.

Marmunia10667 · 30/10/2023 18:36

CesareBorgia · 30/10/2023 18:31

Google says NI schools get two days for Halloween, 31.10 and 1.11.

Google is wrong as most schools in NI get one week. You can check on the individual school websites.

threecupsofteaminimum · 30/10/2023 18:36

This is horrific, your poor daughter, I don't want to be ott but this is scarring for life stuff. This needs addressing in school, it's fucking scandalous and I'm not surprised so many pp have assumed it's bs.

Original poster
Notanotherone8765 · 30/10/2023 18:36

Mumofoneandone · 30/10/2023 18:35

Look at school policies, some may have been broken. Absolutely shocking and totally inappropriate for school to be facilitating this, particularly when a single child is so obviously left out.
Surely this is a massive safe guarding issue both for your teacher and other children. May need to contact head/governors/Designated Safeguarding Lead in school. Or LADO if you don't get anywhere with the school.

Yes that's what I thought. Thank you for your help

OP posts: