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Original poster

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
Potter23 · 30/10/2023 21:45

Just read this whole thread! Definitely need an update now 🤣

hope OP you worked out the misunderstanding!

P.S. saw quite a few people saying block her. Do people really end friendships over misunderstandings like this? Assuming it is one 😬

Itsbritneybitch22 · 30/10/2023 22:19

Did she put in what she thought was the right amount and thinks paying for the food is a pisstake? Like when you said it’s not what you thought maybe she thinks it’s what she was meant to and you was having a dig.

WillowCraft · 30/10/2023 22:31

BlueEyedPeanut · 30/10/2023 00:59

She will have seen it on the pump.

Show quote history

It won't say £180 on the pump though. Must have filled up twice at least. And started empty and finished empty. Unlikely.

But also to spend 180 on fuel you'd have to spend 2 whole days in the car. Most cars will do about 1200 miles for that. It seems highly unlikely!

TerrysNeapolitan · 30/10/2023 22:33

£180 on fuel. WTF did you go?! Berlin!?

Topup3000 · 30/10/2023 22:41

Yes, but if it were me and I saw OP paying petrol, and total might have been mentioned, I'd have paid half. Just saying, overpayment seems unlikely, when have you overpaid?! I know I haven't, and certainly never by 100!

So, er off!
Peace :)

WillowCraft · 30/10/2023 22:41

TerrysNeapolitan · 30/10/2023 22:33

£180 on fuel. WTF did you go?! Berlin!?

Could have been e.g. Plymouth to Fort William and back?

Topup3000 · 30/10/2023 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DoubleTime · 30/10/2023 22:53

I think you should go easy on this. Friend paid her £200 share of the trip (you asked for £200 not the £208 half of the cost) and £90 towards the travel.
She didn't pay the £8 difference on the cost, but she bought you the Subway. So she paid almost exactly half the costs. Then you sent a text that sounded like you were querying it, and she took it the wrong way.

ACGTHelixA · 30/10/2023 23:48

this is why contracts are needed sometimes or a detail agreement of x so there is no mis communication

Mikki77 · 31/10/2023 00:06

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

This!

Ladyj84 · 31/10/2023 00:29

Eh I'm not seeing your problem she paid fairly sent you an amount. Your the one that then pulled it apart. Nowhere has she said mistake that's your assumption tbh. I would have kept quiet unless she then came and said it was a mistake. Highly unlikely tho since you have to type in an amount and verify etc

IMarchToADifferentDrummer · 31/10/2023 00:37

Why would you call her stingy??
She sent the money, as agreed. She possibly meant to send the extra as her share of the fuel. But you could have asked if that was for the fuel and gotten that out of the way quickly, without confusing her by saying she hadn't sent the right amount and making her feel like you were asking for more!!!
Now, you've put her and yourself in difficult positions, she thinks you're after more money and you don't understand the confusion you've created and both of you are probably thinking that's the end of a good friendship, not forgetting putting a downer on what had been a good time away!!!
Call or message her, explain what you meant, and try to save your friendship!

PrincessFiorimonde · 31/10/2023 00:53

I've read your posts, OP, but I haven't read all the replies on this thread, so I'm sorry if this has already been asked.

Is your friend normally a bit stingy, or reluctant to pay her way? Or, on the other hand, would you normally expect her to be pretty straight with you about money?

Is it possible that she did indeed mean to transfer £290 (the £200 you asked for, plus £90 for petrol)? And perhaps her message just meant she didn't send £300 (which she might have thought you wanted for x reason) because of the Subway thing?

Only you know if she's normally the sort of friend who is straight about things, or someone who is a bit of a taker.

I hope you can get this sorted - if you'd like to stay friends.

Tryingmybestadhd · 31/10/2023 05:32

i think it’s the right amount ?

Tryingmybestadhd · 31/10/2023 05:33

Send her the money for the dois back and keep the rest ?

Neurodiversitydoctor · 31/10/2023 05:50

Blackalice · 29/10/2023 23:22

100% this.
Fo not refund, just send a tenner.

Show quote history

This

Muthaofcats · 31/10/2023 06:32

Keep us updated!

pollymere · 31/10/2023 08:42

You did exactly the right thing...apology and the tenner. She's paid you for her share of petrol. If she owed you £200 and had only sent £190 it could be she'd deducted the Subway already but the extra £90 suggests petrol surely? 😂

I suspect she meant to send you £200 minus cost of Subway so now you've sent her the tenner it will be interesting to see how she reacts.

Rockstarqueen · 31/10/2023 08:54

Is there an update from original poster?

Mgs1234 · 31/10/2023 09:17

HoHoHoliday · 29/10/2023 23:31

"I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong."

What makes you think this? Did she say herself that she meant to send £190 but got it wrong or have you assumed?
It looks to me as though you agreed £200 for half of the event/hotel and she's added another £90 for half of the petrol.
You've then complained, and implied that she should pay more, so she has argued back to point out she paid for your subway.
Sounds like a miscommunication to me.
But since she's aid you for her share of everything you should pay her for your subway.

@HoHoHoliday This!
I originally read it the same as everyone else that she had sent you £290 in error, but actually HoHo could be onto something! She may have sent you your half for petrol and has now got her back up as she thinks you’re asking for more. I’d try and iron this out asap before it gets messy when it doesn’t need to. Tell her you’ll give her the £10 for the subway and thank her for sending her half and see what she says, then you’ll know for sure if a mistake has been made.

DoubleTime · 31/10/2023 09:24

I think so too. It seems odd that a friend who was particular enough to deduct £10 for the subway food also managed to overpay £100 in error when she transferred. I think she was more likely to have been halving the costs, including petrol.

DoughBallss · 31/10/2023 10:56

Question is though how did you spend £180 on fuel that’s like 2.5 tanks/1250 miles in my Golf?!

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 31/10/2023 11:50

I'm not sure the OP is coming back. They've posted 2 replies and not answered any questions that might clear up the confusion. Really annoying but loads of people seem to do that on here these days.

MajorBarbara · 31/10/2023 11:54

DoughBallss · 31/10/2023 10:56

Question is though how did you spend £180 on fuel that’s like 2.5 tanks/1250 miles in my Golf?!

Edited

Chelsea tractor, underinflated tyres, needs a service, rubbing brakes, poor driving...

AdobeWanKenobi · 31/10/2023 13:02

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 31/10/2023 11:50

I'm not sure the OP is coming back. They've posted 2 replies and not answered any questions that might clear up the confusion. Really annoying but loads of people seem to do that on here these days.

I've just realised, OP is the same poster that was being rather sneery on the pumpkin picking thread and gleefully told how her parents have a petting farm and this year have added pumpkins, she believes the people supporting her parents small business are 'mugs'.
As this didn't go down so well with most folk I suspect she'd toddled off to name change.