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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
Irishmama100 · 30/10/2023 19:28

That’s terrible on her part. 416 divided by 2 is 208. I am sure 8 pound would have covered the subway and sweets. Can’t believe she didn’t offer to pay something for petrol.
I wouldn’t let that drop tbh! I would ring and speak that through in a calm manner. In that she sent you too much and you thought she was being very fair paying her share of fuel, plus miles/wear on your car. Plus it is lovely to be driven somewhere. I would have paid share of fuel and bought you something for driving me😊

Topup3000 · 30/10/2023 19:45

I understood that she has paid 200 plus half petrol 90. 290.

Because your message was unclear by stating wrong amount plus confused face, I would interpret that as you were expecting more money, hence why your friend is annoyed. I think you're the one who is confusing matters and I don't think your friend is being tight.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 30/10/2023 19:53

Well given OP hasn't returned she's probably realised that friend wasn't been stingy at all as she had intentionally sent through half of the petrol money . And they are both equal . Fuss about nothing .

Someoneonlyyouknow · 30/10/2023 19:56

Does a subway sandwich, drink and some boiled sweets come to £10? Who ate the sweets? Were they all eaten or some left in the car?

Please OP update if she ever gets back in touch. Regardless of whether you would have had to pay petrol with or without her, she has saved on travel costs to get there and should should have offered a contribution.

MissAmbrosia · 30/10/2023 19:56

Did you actually tell her she paid too much? is that were the confusion arose?

Shallistayorshalligo · 30/10/2023 19:57

I just need a bloody update now😁

BowlOfNoodles · 30/10/2023 20:03

Oh I couldn't have a friend like that not at all

Manthide · 30/10/2023 20:03

I'd definitely wait for her to mention it as £290 was the true 50/50 split. Especially with her being so petty!

Sophie89j · 30/10/2023 20:06

I’d send her money back for the sandwich and say sent money over for subway, thanks for contributing to the x amount I spent of fuel, had a lovely time, shame about your messages afterwards 😂

CormorantStrikesBack · 30/10/2023 20:08

Wow. A good friend would have insisted on paying half the petrol AND happily bought you the subway as a thankyou for driving!

Riverlee · 30/10/2023 20:26

Hope stingy friend hasn’t read this and realised she has made a mistake.

AngelsandAliens · 30/10/2023 20:29

Omg this is brilliant ! Why are people so rude , and the fact she got the amount wrong 🤣, even better.

Honest I feel these days that so many people are underneath just pissed off at friends but don’t say anything , like it was so passive of her to try and just send the 190.

OP …. I need an update , did she respond to your £10 refund ?

Canthave2manycats · 30/10/2023 20:34

Send her a bill for your petrol, deducting the cost of the Subway.

Imagwine · 30/10/2023 20:40

What do you think op? Did you misunderstand?

Fedupwitheveryone · 30/10/2023 20:45

did she actually know how much you paid for the petrol? everyone is assuming it was intentional but it won't have been if she didn't know the actual amount.
Going against the grain here but OP told her £200, not £200 plus half the fuel. So yes v cheeky and rude but OP also admitted she would have been paying that much solo anyway.
I would be inclined to refund the £90 to her, passive aggressively pointing out that you didnt' ask her for her share of the petrol - thus proving you are the bigger person here. Unless you really need the £90. How she responds will be telling (but i'm petty like that)

incywincyspidery · 30/10/2023 20:54

Did you actually tell her she'd sent too much? You said you sent a message saying it's not what was agreed, but did you say it was more than agreed? Are you sure she doesn't think you're complaining about it not being enough- hence her mentioning the subway?

If you'd sent me a message saying "thanks for the money but it's not what we agreed" I'd take it to mean you were accusing me of not sending enough. I think you need to ask her.

BurbleBumleBleep · 30/10/2023 20:54

Topup3000 · 30/10/2023 19:45

I understood that she has paid 200 plus half petrol 90. 290.

Because your message was unclear by stating wrong amount plus confused face, I would interpret that as you were expecting more money, hence why your friend is annoyed. I think you're the one who is confusing matters and I don't think your friend is being tight.

Er except the Op clearly stated the agreed amount was only £200 .Petrol was irrelevant since the Op would have pay that regardless.

If the friend had decided to go halves on petrol they’d have said “ yeah only fair” or “ just take it, thank you for driving”. But they didn’t? They made a fuss about paying for a sandwich. Clearly overpayment was a mistake.

ThereIbledit · 30/10/2023 21:06

I'm wondering if friend will realise.

Minniliscious · 30/10/2023 21:15

I don’t understand how OP’s completely disappear?? Why start a thread in the first place?

jackieb123 · 30/10/2023 21:16

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

Yes! THIS!

SoGladofYou · 30/10/2023 21:17

*I understood that she has paid 200 plus half petrol 90. 290.

Because your message was unclear by stating wrong amount plus confused face, I would interpret that as you were expecting more money, hence why your friend is annoyed. I think you're the one who is confusing matters and I don't think your friend is being tight.*

this is my reading of the situation as well too.

Takenobull · 30/10/2023 21:18

No she implied that she had sent too much not that she hadn’t sent enough

HappiDaze · 30/10/2023 21:33

You told her

'It was not what we'd agreed'

If she meant to generously pay you £290 incl petrol etc then I get why she's pissed off

I'd have just said I think you've paid too much

Actually I probably wouldn't have even noticed so it wouldn't even be an issue

Communication is key here

But lots all such an effort I'd just wait for her to get back to you

CrazyCatLadyCat · 30/10/2023 21:40

we need an update

ShatteredPeace · 30/10/2023 21:41

@Rossannah let us know what happened!