Husband won’t call grandchild by his name

[Blyther]

our grandchild (5 months) has an unusual name. It’s a made up name which is a bit ‘out there’- think along the lines of ‘starry-Skye’ or ‘misty-bridge’. Our daughter in law is a bit whacky.

It’s of course entirely up to the parents to choose the name of their child but my husband won’t even say his name as it makes him cringe so much. He refers to the baby as ‘the little one’ or will call him by his middle name.

It’s now become apparent to the parents how he refuses to use his name and it’s causing an atmosphere. I just don’t know what to say to them as I completely understand his point and feel very sorry about the potential bullying he (the baby) is likely to encounter further down the road.

Advice on moving forward please.

I've come across so many out there names in teaching and he's just got to accept that is how the child will identify themselves as. May not be but our personal choice and yes a lot I have cringed about and thought wtf! The more he says it, the more he will get used to it, unless he adopts a pet name for her, which some do and becomes more personalised. Totally understand, there really are some names that I feel sorry the child has been given due to parents' own fantasies but then again it's all personal I guess? X

Ooooh it’s got to be Butter something! I’m invested now ☺️

Maybe if he had a nickname for the child that wouldn't be bad as what he is saying to parents

To be honest, it's not your problem.

As long as you use the right name, it's up to the parents to take it up with your husband.

I'd perhaps mention it to your husband that you think they've noticed but it's not your battle to take on if he's being stubborn.

What's a neurodivergent ??

For goodness sake does it really matter?. Ignore it and just carry on as you are. Baby is healthy and doing fine I presume so what else matters?

Well he’s going to have to call him his name sooner or later he can’t call him little one when he’s 10 lol sorry but I just want to know the babies name

What a fuss about nothing my husband couldn't pronounce our daughters name so he called her by a nickname for ages. He now struggles with one of our granddaughters names he just can't say it so she has a nickname too.

OP, this is tricky. I went to school with someone called 'Fajina'. I remember it not going down well.

Middle name is off the table surely.

Do they take offence with 'little one'?

What's done is done, you have to move with it.

There is no value in resistance or making a point, you'll just alienate the parents and cause friction.

Likely the kid will grow up and change their name as do many kids of popstars etc.

@Blyther please please please tell us what it is. I’m desperate to know.

OPs dh could shorten to use initials for example Button-Jenson (Butt) could simply be called BJ 😇

Hours after the birth of my first child, my grandmother was lobbying for our chosen first name to be used as the middle name instead. It wasn’t even that unusual, just unusual to her, and there are others around with the same name. She didn’t win that one.

If your OH doesn’t want to be known as Grumpy Grandad forever they need to get a grip.

These things settle down and the need for a short version of the name to coo, or shout across a playground will soon mean there’s a new version.

I’m actually with your husband on this one, OP. I’d also find it hard to use a ludicrous name without laughing. Parents do get to choose their child’s name, but they don’t get to choose people’s reactions. I think they should chill out and let your husband refer to him as ‘sonny’ or whatever affectionate term he would use to get round the name.

Is it Dicken (shortened to Dick ) There was a child called Dicken at nursery with my son and I thought poor kid .

He needs to grow up. He sounds ridiculous. It’s their choice and he has to get on board with it.

Your husband needs to use the babies name, it’s just downright disrespectful, especially as you said he can’t say the name with out laughing, he needs to grow up, it’s the baby’s name and that’s that.

My in laws hate my child’s name, me and my hubby chose it together, it’s traditional and they shorten it to a name we hate as they don’t like it, at some point my husband will explode as it’s winding us both up something rotten, it makes us both feel constantly disrespected, also they wonder why my child doesn’t answer to them and it because they won’t use the name he knows so they can’t grow a proper bond with him.

@Blanketpolicy 😂

If it makes you feel any better my own Dad still to this day doesn’t call me or my sister by our names. We are ‘Daughter number 1’ and ‘Daughter number 2’. He does the same with his three grandchildren too. We are both in our 40’s now and have given up telling him. We all have relatively normal names too. I have found with children given unusual names (think celeb names like Sunday or Apple) initially people think they are crazy, but after a wee while it just becomes normal so I think that over time he will get used to it as everyone around him does. Give it time. I’m sure he will come round.

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Unless we know the name then it could just be a normal style name for 2023 like Bear, Ocean, Rain, River etc etc names I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at but my grandparents might scoff at.

How old are you OP? Are you quite old fashioned and traditional?

I wouldn't worry at this stage. If it is a particularly ridiculous name the child will probably change it by deed poll or by making up a more acceptable & conventional knickname.

Don’t tell their surname is Hutch & the reason your Dh can’t say the child’s is because it’s Star-sky Hutch 😂😂😂 I would be on the floor laughing too I truly don’t understand why people don’t think about the bigger picture when choosing their child’s name they need to envisage what life will be like for the child in 30 years & they’re some hot shot lawyer or Dr how serious would they be taken with a name like Dr Star-Sky Hutch just writing it & I’m laughing. Poor wee baby

You really should have told us the name. Personally I support the grandad. These stupid names need to be stopped. Kids with silly names will not do well academically at all. Yes the parents get to name their child but silly names have consequences.