Tradesman Asked Me Out

[Creepy23]

I bought my first home recently and hired a company to complete part of the work I couldn't do myself. Met the sales manager very briefly twice to select the product.

He asked for my spare keys on the Friday so they could start early on Monday while I was at work. OK - gave them. Once he called to say the work was complete mid-day on Tuesday, I asked him to put the keys through my letter box before they left.

Instead he said he 'didn't know where he'd be that day' and asked to go to my work. I didn't respond. The next day he put the keys through my door. I made the full payment remotely and confirmed with a screenshot.

On Thursday morning, I received the following text out of the blue. I honestly found it shocking since I'd shown zero romantic interest in him, we'd only discussed the work and he appeared to be significantly older. Also pretty creepy that he had my keys and had hung onto them so he'd have an excuse to see me again.

I just didn't respond, blocked the number and changed my privacy settings. I've decided to do the other work in the house myself.

YABU - It's fine for men to ask you out once the job is complete
YANBU - It's creepy because he had your keys for days, knows where you live and lacks boundaries.

Hi OP, I just wanted to offer my support, his behaviour was inappropriate. You hired him to do a job not for socialising and have him no reason to think you would be interested in anything other than that, most reasonable men would understand that and would be able to keep there thoughts on your niceness to themselves. I have a feeling the fact he is a tradesmen is why people are being so dismissive of you if it was your GP,Dentist etc I think the response would be different professional boundaries should be held across all professionals Good For you for not dignifying it with a response or fanning about trying to be nice and polite or "appreciating the complement" 🙄

My exact thoughts. Not all men are creeps.

YANBU. Loads of people are missing the point here. He only had the OP's number because she engaged him in a professional capacity. It's completely inappropriate to contact her about anything unrelated to the work being carried out.

He asked you politely if you'd like to get a coffee sometime.

How else do people meet these days?

I think you're overreacting, op.

It's a small company and him being so unprofessional makes me doubt how they deal with data in general.

Cross posted since I thought this could be a misunderstanding. This goes from probably innocent to really fucking creepy in my book.

Given this I'd definitely change the locks. And I'd report him

@adriftinadenofvipers - yes, I get your drift. Shinning up to my 7th floor baclony to wreck my plants. Actuually, bit nervous now. Sometimes put my shoes out to air. They could go missing. Christ, what have I done?? 😯

Is there not an Andrew Tate forum missing you?

He called me FROM MY HOUSE to say the work was complete.

This isn't clear from the original post, I suspect a lot of posters have misunderstood (like I did) and missed this part.

I read the OP as the work was done Monday but he called OP Tuesday...... (and returned the keys Wednesday).

If you had been interested in him , I'm guessing you would have reacted differently .

I'd report him to the company he works for.

It was unprofessional and creepy behavior.

Change your locks.
It'll make you feel safer.
He's very unlikely to have copied them but your brain will have less to stress about.

He didn't NEED to. He just thought you were his type of gal and asked you out. He is not insisting or demanding he is entitled to anything, he just politely asked you a question.

If you met someone at your work you would like to ask them go for a coffee with you how would you ask without appearing "entitled"?

You obviously didn't appreciate or want his polite interest, but he doesn't know that unless he asks the question....

They're not missing the point though. The guy so far sent one short text, very politely asking if the op was interested in getting coffee. I'll repeat, ONE GODDAMN TEXT. He hasn't been bombarding and harassing her. How ridiculous that this is even seen as an issue. Actually feel sorry for the bloke who put himself out there and likely has no idea of the idiotic reaction he's caused.

He called me FROM MY HOUSE to say the work was complete.

I would assume he wanted to ask you out in person?

Years ago an acquaintance ended up married to her divorce lawyer!

He tried to see her again and when she ignored him, he asked her out by text.

Is it really so impossible for someone to turn up, do their job and go away?

I think you are over-reacting, I'm a tradesman and I met my wife when I re-wired her house, I thought she was nice, found out in the course of the job she was single and as a parting shot asked her out (verbally), of course in my case she kindly agreed, we had a coffee, 20+ years later....

Pretty much every tradesman I work with met his or indeed her significant other by doing work for them, liking each other and getting together.

Worth noting most of us will take a polite "no thanks" for an answer and not turn into rabid stalkers, thats how normal people behave. Prior to meeting the wife I asked out a girl (both early 20's at the time) who I did some work for, she said no thanks, fair enough, she ended up becoming a bit of a property developer, has been a long standing customer of mine and invited me to her wedding, just started work on her and her hubbies latest investment.

Blinking heck, people. It’s illegal under GDPR to use someone’s phone number to contact them to ask them out when you have been given it to facilitate doing work on their house. End of.

It’s also creepy.

It's not the asking out that I don't like, it's the the holding onto the keys. He should have done what he was asked with them right away.

I'd even consider changing the locks. He had no good reason for taking them away from the house so where were they until the next day?

New locks are worth your peace of mind. You can do this yourself, it's very easy.

Do you not understand how entitled this is?

YABU.
We seem to live in a weird world where the only way of meeting people that is acceptable these days is online. I remember the old days when people would “chat me up”, maybe get asked out after sitting next to someone on a bus, going into a shop regularly etc. If I wasn’t interested I’d make an excuse and say no. No need for any drama. And actually I’ve known a few people who’ve met their partners in a work capacity. One was an estate agent who sold her house, the other was a financial advisor who visited her, another was a builder.

I would just politely reply that I already had a partner so it wouldn’t be appropriate, but that I was happy with the work and would recommend him to friends in the future.

If he continued to contact me then I’d get irritated.

Saucer of milk for Creepy!!!

Wanting to ask someone out is not entitled. Asking them out and assuming there’ll say yes is entitled. Refusing to take no for an answer is abusive.