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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding bouquet toss, only 1 single lady.

156 replies

SpringHexagon · 29/10/2023 14:06

Hi all, thoughts, ideas, opinions, welcome. Please!!

I get married abroad at the start of December, small group attending that mostly include family (around 15 adults and 5 children). There is only going to be 1 unmarried lady, so I think doing a traditional bouquet toss would be pointless.
Would I be unreasonable to not do a bouquet toss? Or to just hand my bouquet to the unmarried lady, or shout her name and lob it at her from the other side of the room? 😂 What would you folks see as a reasonable adjustment here?

*Edited to correct that lady isn't single but will be only one unmarried, her partner will be in attendance also.

OP posts:
Sofaz34 · 29/10/2023 14:08

I didn't do one at mine, you manage the day. Think it would subgke ger out and naje her feel crap if you dud any of your suggestions tbh.

Sprinkles211 · 29/10/2023 14:08

I would just not do it would be highly embarrassing to be given it because I'm the only single person there

Westfacing · 29/10/2023 14:09

Many years ago at a wedding in Reggio, Calabria all the the young single men joined in the ritual!

Breadahead · 29/10/2023 14:10

I'm not sure I've ever been to a wedding with a bouquet toss

Doggymummar · 29/10/2023 14:10

Keep it and get it pressed

justalittlesnoel · 29/10/2023 14:10

Can you get anyone single, male or female involved?

I'd feel a bit upset just being handed the bouquet in her position, it's a bit "othering" - unless you know her really well and know she'd be up for it?

EvilElsa · 29/10/2023 14:10

Don't do it. I didn't at mine -I took my bouquet home and enjoyed it myself!

anon1968 · 29/10/2023 14:10

I saw a post/video on fb where the bride pretended she was going to throw her bouquet then chgd to a replica with individual flowers tied with ribbon and handed them out to each female guest.

Original poster
SpringHexagon · 29/10/2023 14:11

Sorry I've stated single in my post, bin dea where my head's at. She isn't single, but she will be the only unmarried lady. She will be with her partner at the wedding.

OP posts:
PinkRoses1245 · 29/10/2023 14:11

I didn’t do it at mine, totally forgot. I haven’t been to many weddings where they did it, honestly I think it’s a bit naff

334bu · 29/10/2023 14:11

Why toss the bouquet? If you want to give it to your friend fine, otherwise give it to someone you have a special relationship with.

Tailfeather · 29/10/2023 14:11

Are there non-married women there?

Lyricallie · 29/10/2023 14:11

I’m early 30s so in peak wedding season the last couple of years. None did a toss. I put my bouquet on my grandpas grave which I thought was nice.

BibbleandSqwauk · 29/10/2023 14:11

There hadn't been one at the last few I've been too..just don't do it.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 29/10/2023 14:11

Get it pressed.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 29/10/2023 14:13

Please do not hand the bouquet to the only unmarried woman there! You might really upset her.

Precipice · 29/10/2023 14:13

The bouquet toss is a 'you're next!' thing, isn't it? What if she doesn't want to get married? Maybe there's a reason she's the only unmarried woman.

Keep your own bouquet or discard it as you want. Don't shove it at other women.

GCAcademic · 29/10/2023 14:14

I’ve never been to a wedding where the bouquet was tossed.

Original poster
SpringHexagon · 29/10/2023 14:15

I would rather have put my bouquet on my gran and grandad grave, but I doubt it will make it home with me over a week after the wedding, plus the 10 hour flight won't be great for them either lol.
Glad to hear the bouquet toss isn't a must then, the DJ had a list of songs I was to pick and bouquet toss was on it which started to make me feel anxious 😂

OP posts:
looking4pup · 29/10/2023 14:15

I've been married 10 years now and I've only just realised this didn't enter my head to do.

toastofthetown · 29/10/2023 14:16

Does she want to get married? Does her partner want to get married? It could easily end up causing upset no matter how innocently the gesture is meant. I've seen online people giving their bouquet to the couple who has been married the longest (though this also has the potential to cause upset if someone has been windowed or acrimoniously divorced).

RallyRallyAppreciateIt · 29/10/2023 14:17

Never seen a bouquet toss. I’m the wrong side of 50 so have been to a fair few weddings!

I had mine dried and gave it to DM.

Mangledrake · 29/10/2023 14:17

I really wouldn't hand her the bouquet

When you throw a bouquet, people can go in to catch it or not

If you hand it to someone, you're implying that they want to be in your position.

There's no reason why she should want to get married and even if she does, no reason to put her and her partner on the spot.

Just have a lovely day and give the bouquet to people who will appreciate it or have it dried. Most weddings I've been at the bride hasn't thrown it.

fluffypotatoes · 29/10/2023 14:18

No one does the bouquet toss any more. Especially with the price of flowers!

booksandbrooks · 29/10/2023 14:19

I've been to loads of weddings never seen a bouquet toss except on TV.

Also how good is your aim? I'd be very likely to miss the intended recipient and possibly take out the cake.