To think these are correct table manners or am I just a snob??

[Justintime3]

I was raised with strict table manners, yet I have never been sat at a table with anyone who has the same table manners I do! Are these over the top?

This is what I was taught

1. Do not eat until the person who cooked sits down (excused if the chef says you can start)
2. Do not eat until everyone has their food in a restaurant (excused if the person without their food says you can start)
3. Chew with your mouth closed and do not speak with your mouth full
4. Do not take calls or use your phone at the table. Excuse yourself if you need to
5. Put your knife and fork together at the front of your plate when you are finished
6. Offer the last serving of XYZ to the table before you take it
7. Thank the person who cooked and offer to clean up
8. Elbows off the table
9. Tear bread into small chunks to eat in a restaurant, don't bite off the whole roll

10. Use cutlery correctly

• index finger on top of your knife and fork
• spoons for soup and dessert only. Spoon the soup from the farthest side of the bowl
• load food onto the back of the fork with your knife. (No 'shovelling' as my mum called it)

My mum's always been really strict on it and is the type to point out people's bad table manners so I've always followed these to a T. Thoughts? Is this over the top and I'm a snob, or are these just normal to expect?

Because of how I've been raised I can't help but be put off when I see someone without these manners.

Just keen to see how others were raised!

YANBU

These are basic manners imo

You’re a snob. Unclench. I can’t imagine being judgy about silly things like this.

No, this is all just normal table manners.

But people will be along in a minute to argue with you that you are a terrible snob with too high standards.

tearing a roll into tiny bits??? Wtf?

YANBU

Same table manners that I was taught and now teach DC. YANBU.

I was raised this way too, and definitely consider these fairly basic manners.

Which part do you think is unreasonable?

You're wrong about soup. If we're going to be all Downton Abbey about it you should push the soup spoon away from you to the back of the bowl then lift it to your mouth.

Just normal, standard table manners.

Cutlery should be at 20 past 4. Not in front of you.

I wouldn't say thats strict, its just the basic normal manners?

I wasn’t brought up in a particularly strict household but would do all of the above. When written out it sounds a bit OTT but just basic manners imo.

I think these are all perfectly normal table manners and are certainly what I was brought up with, and what I expected from my daughter when she was growing up.

Most of what you describe is just good manners. I do most of this apart from the bread roll thing, and when eating casually I don't care about the odd elbow on the table , but at a special occasion I would keep elbows off

This is how I was brought up too. I’m attempting to teach dc the same but unfortunately DH thinks it’s ridiculous and unnecessary so it’s a bit of an uphill battle.

Yes I'm certainly aware of those rules. I don't particularly care about them though, and I think some of them are unnecessarily fussy and old-fashioned, for example the soup one.

They're basic table manners.

but banging on about them & judging others is just tedious

Those are basic good manners.

Yes can get on board with the majority of those. Especially chewing with your mouth closed - that loud lip smacking noise people makes really disgusts me to the point of making me feel sick. It's really not that hard just to chew with your mouth closed!

Pretty basic stuff but you are BU to judge other people who didn't get the same upbringing as you. Not their fault.

tearing the roll into tiny bits!!!
Waiting for some dick to balance peas on the back of the fork?

I have perfectly good table manners, I’m just not a pretentious prig!

Oh but spoon and fork are used when eating spaghetti e.g. spaghetti bolognaise.

That's just normal table manners, not snobby at all.