To think these are correct table manners or am I just a snob??

[Justintime3]

I was raised with strict table manners, yet I have never been sat at a table with anyone who has the same table manners I do! Are these over the top?

This is what I was taught

1. Do not eat until the person who cooked sits down (excused if the chef says you can start)
2. Do not eat until everyone has their food in a restaurant (excused if the person without their food says you can start)
3. Chew with your mouth closed and do not speak with your mouth full
4. Do not take calls or use your phone at the table. Excuse yourself if you need to
5. Put your knife and fork together at the front of your plate when you are finished
6. Offer the last serving of XYZ to the table before you take it
7. Thank the person who cooked and offer to clean up
8. Elbows off the table
9. Tear bread into small chunks to eat in a restaurant, don't bite off the whole roll

10. Use cutlery correctly

• index finger on top of your knife and fork
• spoons for soup and dessert only. Spoon the soup from the farthest side of the bowl
• load food onto the back of the fork with your knife. (No 'shovelling' as my mum called it)

My mum's always been really strict on it and is the type to point out people's bad table manners so I've always followed these to a T. Thoughts? Is this over the top and I'm a snob, or are these just normal to expect?

Because of how I've been raised I can't help but be put off when I see someone without these manners.

Just keen to see how others were raised!

Is that you Catherine? You must be my sister because those are our mother's table manners rules too.

They are all absolutely true and fair.

I become quite cross if people wait for me to sit: I want them to eat while it’s piping hot.

Other than that, they’re all pretty basic manners.

9. Tear bread into small chunks to eat in a restaurant, don't bite off the whole roll

That is a silly rule. I don't take any notice of that.

load food onto the back of the fork with your knife. (No 'shovelling' as my mum called it)

It depends what you are eating. A traditional meat and two veg yes, but I don't eat rice like that, and neither does anyone esle I know.

I agree with all the other points.

Reminds me of an old Spike Milligan rhyme 😁

I eat my peas with honey
I've done that all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife.

These rules are all basic manners. My children (teenagers) have leeway around them all at home when we’re eating in a relaxed family environment but it’s important to me they know how to conduct themselves when they eat out. One day they’ll be on dates/eating with their partner’s families/work functions etc. I don’t want them to be uncomfortable in those environments.

At work my team and I often ate out with clients, both as hosts and guests, and table manners are important, and noticed.

Correct. Not snobby just basic manners.

Add do do not leave table until everyone finished

And add if children have fjnished they ask please may i leave the table and thank you

These are basics at home never mind in company

I would have thought the back of the plate was away from you and front was closest.

So scoop away from yourself.

Because some people are too clumsy not to tip it all over themselves apparently?

You can't go wrong with those basic good manners, OP. My partner holds a knife like a pen and it grates, even after 23 years together.

I would say judging others is what would make someone a snob to me

Most of the things OP said are basic manners, but difference is I wouldn’t get “put off” as OP calls it if some of these were not followed. I am more interested in the company of the person that whether they hold their knife and fork correctly

Absolutely this.
And as the parent of a ND person who lives almost entirely off rye bread, fish roe paste and tuna I don't need to make my life harder by insisting on exact placement of cutlery. I also don't actually care which direction they spoon soup from.

Haven't heard that in ages! Thanks for that memory! 😄

@WhateverMate

But you just tell them to start

basic stuff, nothing outrageous? people who don't do that come across quite cave man like.

i was quite surprised when my friend told her kid off for not wiping his lips before drinking water. like, don't leave greasy lip prints on glass!! bad manners!! i did not know it was.

Most of this is basic and not over the top. I really
can't do the upside down fork though, there is definitely shovelling here!

Anyone who is the type to point out people's bad table manners

isn't exactly displaying great manners now are they?

theduchessofspork · Today 23:26

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 23:20

I become quite cross if people wait for me to sit: I want them to eat while it’s piping hot.

Other than that, they’re all pretty basic manners.

But you just tell them to start”

Yes, I do, have for 40 years. But they still wait!!!

So how do people feel when eating with indian people using their hands? @localnotail are they cave people?

I've been huffily corrected by a waiter in France (at a formal dining place) who moved my precisely placed knife and fork from 6.30 to 4.20, crossed, and with the tines of the fork pointing upwards, before clearing my plate away.
That's the way it should be done in France, apparently. I felt properly chastised.

Also which cutlery to use and which directiion to scoop soup . (Away from you)
The direction of soup scooping would not offend me but I must admit other things would

DP is left handed and holds his knife in his left hand and fork in right .....at least though he holds them correctly .....

Basic table manners but suppose these days manners are going out of fashion

On the challenges of eating peas:

I eat my peas with honey.
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
but it keeps them on the knife!

My mum grew up in Germany where they don't push soup spoons to the back of the plate, so we were never taught to either.

I also think that trying to balance peas on the back of your fork is a silly rule (and I don't like honey )

@steppemum if someone didn't finish their plate of food I would think they didn't like it. However, when we have guests I always make too much food and put it in serving dishes on the table, so that issue wouldn't arise.

Quite rude to be 'put off' people not having the same table manners as you. Many cultures eat in a way more relaxed setting, eat with their hands or use other pieces of food such as fufu or roti.