Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Car crash romance- wrong or right?

109 replies

Messymummy84 · 28/10/2023 22:18

Looking for some perspective here. Single mum, happily divorced and diligently dating. I was involved in a collision last week, absolutely not my fault and several witnesses who agreed I couldn’t have avoided it. Was fairly nasty, my vehicle written off and a few people in hospital but thankfully no one died. Now my dilemma is this: one of the witnesses who stopped was really attractive and there was instant chemistry between us. I’m talking lingering eye contact, hand on shoulder, ‘are you really ok?’ type interaction. But he was in the car with his girlfriend who seemed cold and maybe like they’d been arguing or weren’t really very into each other. As we all swapped details, I’m wondering if it’s unreasonable to message him, with romantic intentions, given the obvious connection we shared. I feel like these things happen for a reason and our universes collided, as my car collided with the school minibus. I’ve been dating on and off for nearly 3 years now and I haven’t felt anything like this. I can’t stop thinking about him and really want to send him a message but I haven’t yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
pumpykins · 29/10/2023 09:26

What do you mean, connection?

He has a partner

Move on

AuntieDolly · 29/10/2023 09:26

Perhaps the long lingering looks were to check that your pupils were equal and reactive

WandaWonder · 29/10/2023 09:27

Are you that desperate? Just leave it

RSintes · 29/10/2023 09:27

Also if it was my kid in that school bus who ended up in hospital and it turns out the person who caused that accident was trying to fuck the main witness away from his partner, I'd be fucking furious and I'm sure a judge wouldn't look too kindly on it either. Takes whole new meaning to 'interfering with witnesses'

pumpykins · 29/10/2023 09:29

How do you know the GF is a GF and not his wife? Mother of his children?

pumpykins · 29/10/2023 09:30

junglejane66 · 29/10/2023 09:23

Jimmy Hill

🤣

Not heard that for years

twattydogshavetwattypeople · 29/10/2023 09:39

EverybodyJumpsuit · 29/10/2023 08:51

@user1471517900
please can we cast the whole movie-
i vote 30s Matthew Broderick as brother/ boyfriend of ‘cold’ sister/gf

Bill Nighy to play God.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 29/10/2023 09:42

KrisAkabusi · 28/10/2023 22:23

I feel like these things happen for a reason and our universes collided, as my car collided with the school minibus
Yeah, kids were terrified in a car accident while others were seriously injured and went to hospital so you could meet your soulmate! 🙄

This. If you drove into my child's school bus and all you cared about was shagging a witness I'd be highly unimpressed.

KimberleyClark · 29/10/2023 09:42

As far as you know he is spoken for and therefore off limits. Would you even have thought about contacting him if he’d been wearing a wedding ring? And you can’t draw any reliable conclusions about his girlfriend from just seeing her sitting in the car.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 29/10/2023 09:42

How do you know if was a girlfriend that 'looked like they'd just had argument'?

Maybe it was a wife who was shocked by what she'd just witnessed?

HerMammy · 29/10/2023 09:42

Has there been a full moon?
What with wanting to shag a witness to an accident to flatmate, bovril and boobs, all very odd threads on here.

ImNotReallySpartacus · 29/10/2023 09:45

twattydogshavetwattypeople · 29/10/2023 09:39

Bill Nighy to play God.

There has to be a cameo for Judi Dench as the grandmother of the most seriously injured child.

Missgemini · 29/10/2023 09:46

I think you’re concussed OP. Get some rest.

Boomboom22 · 29/10/2023 09:51

We need more details op.
Who was most at fault, how did the crash happen? Where was the witness? Other cars and witnesses?
Why do you think gf and arguing anyway, are all mixed sex pairs in cars in a relationship?
And do you agree with the casting so far!

Heatherjayne1972 · 29/10/2023 09:54

Uh nope
he has a girlfriend. Perhaps she was moody/ unimpressed because him flirting with other women is her ‘normal’

find someone else.

Loubelle70 · 29/10/2023 09:57

CousinGreg55 · 28/10/2023 22:25

He was either just being kind to you as you had been in an accident or he was flirting with you with his girlfriend sitting in the car which isn't a good sign.

This

TrishTrix · 29/10/2023 09:58

An acquaintance is married (for more than 15yrs) to a bloke whose car she drove into in a car park!

seems to work for them…

TheShellBeach · 29/10/2023 09:59

Messymummy84 · 28/10/2023 22:24

Oh. When you put it like that 😔 nobody died though and most kids do love a day off school!

Omg

KimberleyClark · 29/10/2023 10:00

TrishTrix · 29/10/2023 09:58

An acquaintance is married (for more than 15yrs) to a bloke whose car she drove into in a car park!

seems to work for them…

Was either of them already in a relationship when they met?

KajsaKavat · 29/10/2023 10:04

For perspective when I rolled my truck and write it off I had ideas of romantic things happening with the first police in the scene as he was so cute and so caring and lovely, I didn’t contact him though.

I don’t think there is anything wrong in doing so but I think the adrenaline etc might be hyping this all up.
also a physical connection to a trauma can feel healing.

if you have his number then why not.

goodgriefsean · 29/10/2023 10:06

😂 if this is for real then OP has the biggest case of main character syndrome I've come across.

therealcookiemonster · 29/10/2023 10:09

🤢

ButWhatIsIt · 29/10/2023 10:10

This is one of the most barmy threads that I've read in a while.

whatausername · 29/10/2023 10:18

Messymummy84 · 28/10/2023 22:24

Oh. When you put it like that 😔 nobody died though and most kids do love a day off school!

Apt username as you are indeed a mess 🤣 your priorities are fucked up and your perception is skewed. Someone showed you compassion during the aftermath of a crash and you're leeching on to them. I think you need to take a step back (and delete his number perhaps).

TotalOverhaul · 29/10/2023 10:21

BlinkerGoBlink · 28/10/2023 22:51

Thank you. That was what I was trying to get at but my brain was too fuddled with flu virus to explain it.