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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Car crash romance- wrong or right?

109 replies

Messymummy84 · 28/10/2023 22:18

Looking for some perspective here. Single mum, happily divorced and diligently dating. I was involved in a collision last week, absolutely not my fault and several witnesses who agreed I couldn’t have avoided it. Was fairly nasty, my vehicle written off and a few people in hospital but thankfully no one died. Now my dilemma is this: one of the witnesses who stopped was really attractive and there was instant chemistry between us. I’m talking lingering eye contact, hand on shoulder, ‘are you really ok?’ type interaction. But he was in the car with his girlfriend who seemed cold and maybe like they’d been arguing or weren’t really very into each other. As we all swapped details, I’m wondering if it’s unreasonable to message him, with romantic intentions, given the obvious connection we shared. I feel like these things happen for a reason and our universes collided, as my car collided with the school minibus. I’ve been dating on and off for nearly 3 years now and I haven’t felt anything like this. I can’t stop thinking about him and really want to send him a message but I haven’t yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
whatausername · 29/10/2023 10:22

Is 'diligently dating' a euphemism for "desperately seeking any man whatsoever"?

Why would you try to disrupt a Good Samaritan's life like this?

Bobbotgegrinch · 29/10/2023 10:25

You sound like an utterly unpleasant human being. "I'm going to use this event that caused trauma for a number of people to try and split up a relationship, just because a man was nice to me"

No wonder you've had no luck dating in 3 years, I bet people run a mile!

Itsnotchristmasyet · 29/10/2023 11:08

Bloody hell, poor guy can’t even ask if someone’s ok after a car crash without a desperate woman thinking he fancies her.

OP give your head a wobble and put this down to your emotions after a scary experience.

Reaching out to him would be very embarrassing for you both.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 29/10/2023 12:20

Bobbotgegrinch · 29/10/2023 10:25

You sound like an utterly unpleasant human being. "I'm going to use this event that caused trauma for a number of people to try and split up a relationship, just because a man was nice to me"

No wonder you've had no luck dating in 3 years, I bet people run a mile!

I don’t think OP is utterly unpleasant but I do think that when sometimes you don’t meet the right person dating in real life or internet dating then with a situation like this you can read more into it than there actually is and then think about acting on it where most people wouldn’t.

So on that basis I’d say leave well alone (if I hadn’t said that before).

EBearhug · 29/10/2023 12:40

It's basically how my godmother and her husband met - but the key difference is that they were both single at the time.

Createausername1970 · 29/10/2023 15:51

CousinGreg55 · 28/10/2023 22:33

I'm surprised at all these replies saying go for it when he is in a relationship

But to be fair, just because he was in the car with a woman, doesn't make her his girlfriend. She could have been, but she could also have been a friend, sister, car share. OP won't know unless she makes the effort to find out.

Newsername1 · 30/10/2023 16:11

Createausername1970 · 28/10/2023 22:33

Watched a Christmas film earlier today, and the message was "if God sends a sleigh, get on it"

The background was a story told by one of the characters in the film. Traveller was stranded in the snow, along came a stranger in a sleigh, offered the traveller a lift. Traveller refused, said God would help him. Three times the traveller was offered help, three time he declined saying God would help him. He died in the snow and when he got to the pearly gates he remonstrated with God, wanting to know why God hadn't saved him. God said "I sent three sleighs, what more did you want?"

So, this could be your sleigh ride. You won't know unless you hop on.

I need to know what movie this is! 😂

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 30/10/2023 16:16

Cool story bro.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/10/2023 16:21

CousinGreg55 · 28/10/2023 22:25

He was either just being kind to you as you had been in an accident or he was flirting with you with his girlfriend sitting in the car which isn't a good sign.

This.

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