Page 7 | In trouble, I grabbed the best room!

Singletraveller · 2023-10-27T18:49:55+00:00

I'm on holiday with a group of mates; they have partners and I dont. Last time we went away together the couple that arrived first at the cottage grabbed the best room, with no shame or negotiation! We all ended up joking that this time round we would race eachother for the best room...all a bit whacky races and jovial! Anyway, I got there well before anyone else for various travel related reasons, so grabbed the best room. Big with an ensuite. The other rooms were nice just a bit smaller...one didnt have an ensuite. Anyhow, one of the couples has kicked off - because Im single, I shouldn't have the biggest room apparently. Given they're all essentially nice rooms, this feels a bit shitty...should I have quietly taken a 'lesser' room just because I'm a solo traveller?? All so petty I know, but peed off at the sour atmosphere after all the joking about rooms in the run up.

Huhuhuhu · 27/10/2023 22:34

User1789 · 27/10/2023 22:09

OP, while I get the temptation to make the point you are making (though it is a dick move to do so while also paying less for the accommodation), there may well be a point in the future where you have a partner.

Your approach, and many of the posts on this thread in support of it, comes across as a bit resentful at your friends for being in couples while you are not.

Do you want to be friends with these people? Or do you want to make a point?

This.
@HunterHearstHelmsley it's not about the 'shit' room though.
It's about generosity.
A house is divided into rooms. Not people. If there are 4 rooms and the cost is divided equally, into X per room the occupier(s) of each room pay X. Whether it's a single person, couple or throuple is irrelevant.

OP's friends have been generous enough to give her a discount. They didn't have to. So, in the spirit of generosity. OP should have taken a nice 'middling' room. Not grabbed the biggest.

This entire thing hinges on the OP taking the 'joke' literally but even she herself admits it was a joke! There was no serious discussion on first come first served. If people were happy with the approach quite frankly they wouldn't have to joke about it.

The correct way to do it would be pricing rooms according to 'niceness'. OP being single doesn't necessarily mean she is poorer, if she paid she gets the room. Who knows, one of the couples might have been willing to take the 'most shit' room instead and save some money.

If OP had paid the same as everyone else, then 100% she isn't being U.

Furthermore as the atmosphere has soured this might be the end of it. Even if loads of strangers on the internet agree with OP. Great outcome for the OP?

Maybe she's better off with people who are more direct and say what they mean. This would never have happened with my group, we'd have allocated rooms in advance.

Flatbellyfella · 27/10/2023 22:36

Have a nice soak & enjoy the big room….🍷

HunterHearstHelmsley · 27/10/2023 22:40

Huhuhuhu · 27/10/2023 22:34

This.
@HunterHearstHelmsley it's not about the 'shit' room though.
It's about generosity.
A house is divided into rooms. Not people. If there are 4 rooms and the cost is divided equally, into X per room the occupier(s) of each room pay X. Whether it's a single person, couple or throuple is irrelevant.

OP's friends have been generous enough to give her a discount. They didn't have to. So, in the spirit of generosity. OP should have taken a nice 'middling' room. Not grabbed the biggest.

This entire thing hinges on the OP taking the 'joke' literally but even she herself admits it was a joke! There was no serious discussion on first come first served. If people were happy with the approach quite frankly they wouldn't have to joke about it.

The correct way to do it would be pricing rooms according to 'niceness'. OP being single doesn't necessarily mean she is poorer, if she paid she gets the room. Who knows, one of the couples might have been willing to take the 'most shit' room instead and save some money.

If OP had paid the same as everyone else, then 100% she isn't being U.

Furthermore as the atmosphere has soured this might be the end of it. Even if loads of strangers on the internet agree with OP. Great outcome for the OP?

Maybe she's better off with people who are more direct and say what they mean. This would never have happened with my group, we'd have allocated rooms in advance.

Edited

Show quote history

I haven't said anything about a shit room? I've said the OP should have en suite but not the largest.

fridaynight1 · 27/10/2023 22:44

@Singletraveller

Ok so what would happen if you gave up your room and let the couples decide?

I’d bet a lot of money on you ending up in the smallest room with no bathroom.

I wonder which couple would get your room?

Is there a pecking order?

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 27/10/2023 22:44

Genuinely, why is anyone saying a singleton has paid less? The couples have a dual income, no? Comparatively, everyone has paid the same, OP just doesn’t have a partner to split the cost with.

Because she has paid less. Her friends might be the Musks, the Gateses and the Bezoses - but income and outgoings are not the same things.

PaprikaPlease · 27/10/2023 22:45

Love how many posts are about taking rooms right now!

I’d have taken the smaller en suite. You paid less for your room than they did and surely don’t need loads of room (they’ll have two suitcases etc) You sound selfish but if I were your friends I hope I’d just see the funny side and not let it ruin the stay!

Barleysugar86 · 27/10/2023 22:47

Just came back from a similar trip with friends, three couples, two double rooms and one with two single beds. We split the price evenly three ways. I got there first but took the rubbish single beds room for us because we had an additional little person with us who was going to be sleeping on the sofa.

If I were you OP I would have taken the worst room because I was paying the least for a room. I think that's just being considerate of your friends.

LizzyLongbow · 27/10/2023 22:52

The thing is - is having the biggest room making you happy?

Tangled123 · 27/10/2023 22:52

I don’t think OP should have taken the worst room just because she’s single, but I do think the biggest room should have went to the first couple to arrive who wanted it. OP should have taken one of the other rooms with an en-suite (maybe the one with the best view).

ZiriForGood · 27/10/2023 22:56

If the OP took smaller ensuite, the same argument about "paying less per room" could still be made about the non ensuite room.

From my point of view, the something between price is actually fair- the accomodation isn't only about bedrooms, there are some common areas and utilities bills included, and two people do use more water and so on than one, even when staying in one room together.

Either have the bedroom coolness based pricing, or just agree, that the next time it will be someone else's turn.

Huhuhuhu · 27/10/2023 22:59

ZiriForGood · 27/10/2023 22:56

If the OP took smaller ensuite, the same argument about "paying less per room" could still be made about the non ensuite room.

From my point of view, the something between price is actually fair- the accomodation isn't only about bedrooms, there are some common areas and utilities bills included, and two people do use more water and so on than one, even when staying in one room together.

Either have the bedroom coolness based pricing, or just agree, that the next time it will be someone else's turn.

The utility bills etc are included in the whole accommodation price - so that's accounted for already! Nobody is paying for their individual usage.

Theemeperorsnewclothes · 27/10/2023 22:59

The single shaming on this thread is depressing. The OP paid more on an individual basis than everyone else. If you were to look at the booking as a whole group situation, the OP has actually more of an argument for the better room, as she has paid more, per head. If we lived in a world where singles were treated as equals this wouldn’t even be an issue. Why should she be treated less favourably just because she doesn’t have a partner? Anyway, it’s not just about the couples having the ‘better’ room, it’s about how it makes her feel when she is just expected to accept less. I imagine many single women/parents are expected to accept less on a daily basis, so perhaps it would have been nice for her ‘friends’ to say, enjoy the nice room, you got there first, fair and square.

TheMadHattter · 27/10/2023 23:02

Any update OP? Have you made up with friends? Did you move rooms? 👀

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 27/10/2023 23:11

I'm struggling to see why so many people are saying that OP paid less for her room than anyone else. This is not a hotel where places are sold by the room. It's a rental which is rented as a whole, there is no such thing as a room rate. The price anyone pays covers the room they sleep in and also the use of any shared facilities. If the total is divided per room then the singleton will be subsidising everyone else's use of the shared facilities. If the total is divided per person then the couples will be subsidising the singleton's room. If it's divided somewhere in between (as it seems to have been here) then no-one is subsidising anyone else and no-one is being especially generous or cheeky.

Huhuhuhu · 27/10/2023 23:17

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 27/10/2023 23:11

I'm struggling to see why so many people are saying that OP paid less for her room than anyone else. This is not a hotel where places are sold by the room. It's a rental which is rented as a whole, there is no such thing as a room rate. The price anyone pays covers the room they sleep in and also the use of any shared facilities. If the total is divided per room then the singleton will be subsidising everyone else's use of the shared facilities. If the total is divided per person then the couples will be subsidising the singleton's room. If it's divided somewhere in between (as it seems to have been here) then no-one is subsidising anyone else and no-one is being especially generous or cheeky.

People are just terrible at arithmetic, like @Theemeperorsnewclothes for example.
In actual fact the OP didn't need to have been given a discount as well so the friends have been generous. If one person occupies a room instead of two then said person will of course owe more This is probably why they're pissed off. She paid less and happily took the bigger room.

Also not really relevant as people's financial situations shouldn't affect a fair allocation but...
Those harping on about single people and extra expenses are also missing the fact that living alone, holidaying alone etc is a choice. I was single for a long time and actually spent LESS. Because, well I lived with 2 other people and went on holiday with others, sharing rooms.
Even now I go on trips with people other than DH but also it's actually more expensive as it's just two of us at home.

NoraBattysCurlers · 27/10/2023 23:20

OP's friends have been generous enough to give her a discount. They didn't have to. So, in the spirit of generosity. OP should have taken a nice 'middling' room. Not grabbed the biggest.

Instead, OP decided to shit all over her 'friends'.

ActDottie · 27/10/2023 23:24

I personally wouldn’t have taken the biggest room. I’d have probably taken the smallest en-suite room. Just because there’s one of you and two of them.

Starzinsky · 27/10/2023 23:26

If you haven't paid as much as a couple combined then taking the biggest room is taking the p in my opinion.

Blinky21 · 27/10/2023 23:32

But if everyone paid the same per person why shouldn't you have the bigger room. Ignore them!

Theemeperorsnewclothes · 27/10/2023 23:34

Huhuhuhu · Today 23:17

“MontyDonsBlueScarf · Today 23:11
I'm struggling to see why so many people are saying that OP paid less for her room than anyone else. This is not a hotel where places are sold by the room. It's a rental which is rented as a whole, there is no such thing as a room rate. The price anyone pays covers the room they sleep in and also the use of any shared facilities. If the total is divided per room then the singleton will be subsidising everyone else's use of the shared facilities. If the total is divided per person then the couples will be subsidising the singleton's room. If it's divided somewhere in between (as it seems to have been here) then no-one is subsidising anyone else and no-one is being especially generous or cheeky.
People are just terrible at arithmetic, like @Theemeperorsnewclothes for example.
In actual fact the OP didn't need to have been given a discount as well so the friends have been generous. If one person occupies a room instead of two then said person will of course owe more This is probably why they're pissed off. She paid less and happily took the bigger room.

Also not really relevant as people's financial situations shouldn't affect a fair allocation but...
Those harping on about single people and extra expenses are also missing the fact that living alone, holidaying alone etc is a choice. I was single for a long time and actually spent LESS. Because, well I lived with 2 other people and went on holiday with others, sharing rooms.
Even now I go on trips with people other than DH but also it's actually more expensive as it's just two of us at home. Edited”

To be fair, I am pretty terrible at arithmetic @Huhuhuhu but I like to think that I am not terrible at being a decent, empathetic human. The OP has as much right to any room in that shared group as the couples, and should not be treated less favourably because of her single status. In fact if it was one of my close friends, and I was in a couple, I would be more inclined to say, you have the better room because you deserve to feel supported and just as important as us, in couples. I would be acutely aware of how singling them out, would make them feel. If that meant a few nights of a squeeze to make them feel that they were just as important and valued as the couples then it would be worth it, as a good friend.

“Those harping on about single people and extra expenses are also missing the fact that living alone, holidaying alone etc is a choice.”

Is it though? It’s not a “choice” for many of my single friends. It’s a set of circumstances, often outwith their control.

It would make me even keener to ensure that they felt like they should never be made to feel that they deserved less, just because they were single.

Foodorder · 27/10/2023 23:45

NotSayingImBatman · 27/10/2023 21:40

Genuinely, why is anyone saying a singleton has paid less? The couples have a dual income, no? Comparatively, everyone has paid the same, OP just doesn’t have a partner to split the cost with.

If you buy an apple it costs what an apple costs, it's not different because one person earns differently to another

Huhuhuhu · 27/10/2023 23:51

Theemeperorsnewclothes · 27/10/2023 23:34

Huhuhuhu · Today 23:17

“MontyDonsBlueScarf · Today 23:11
I'm struggling to see why so many people are saying that OP paid less for her room than anyone else. This is not a hotel where places are sold by the room. It's a rental which is rented as a whole, there is no such thing as a room rate. The price anyone pays covers the room they sleep in and also the use of any shared facilities. If the total is divided per room then the singleton will be subsidising everyone else's use of the shared facilities. If the total is divided per person then the couples will be subsidising the singleton's room. If it's divided somewhere in between (as it seems to have been here) then no-one is subsidising anyone else and no-one is being especially generous or cheeky.
People are just terrible at arithmetic, like @Theemeperorsnewclothes for example.
In actual fact the OP didn't need to have been given a discount as well so the friends have been generous. If one person occupies a room instead of two then said person will of course owe more This is probably why they're pissed off. She paid less and happily took the bigger room.

Also not really relevant as people's financial situations shouldn't affect a fair allocation but...
Those harping on about single people and extra expenses are also missing the fact that living alone, holidaying alone etc is a choice. I was single for a long time and actually spent LESS. Because, well I lived with 2 other people and went on holiday with others, sharing rooms.
Even now I go on trips with people other than DH but also it's actually more expensive as it's just two of us at home. Edited”

To be fair, I am pretty terrible at arithmetic @Huhuhuhu but I like to think that I am not terrible at being a decent, empathetic human. The OP has as much right to any room in that shared group as the couples, and should not be treated less favourably because of her single status. In fact if it was one of my close friends, and I was in a couple, I would be more inclined to say, you have the better room because you deserve to feel supported and just as important as us, in couples. I would be acutely aware of how singling them out, would make them feel. If that meant a few nights of a squeeze to make them feel that they were just as important and valued as the couples then it would be worth it, as a good friend.

“Those harping on about single people and extra expenses are also missing the fact that living alone, holidaying alone etc is a choice.”

Is it though? It’s not a “choice” for many of my single friends. It’s a set of circumstances, often outwith their control.

It would make me even keener to ensure that they felt like they should never be made to feel that they deserved less, just because they were single.

Of course it is. Unless you're going to drip feed that most of your single friends are disabled, need specially adapted housing, etc, such that they just HAVE to live alone.
In real life if they can afford to do so they're doing very well indeed! For most single people that is actually what they 'can't' afford. They live in shared housing, or at least with one other person which reduces costs significantly. As for holidaying I don't see why it's a 'choice' there are lots of groups etc you can on holiday with or friends. Even if you have a partner there's no guarantee they want to go on the same holidays as you.

There's also no getting around the fact that a single person needs less space (again, caveat that said single person isn't disabled and needing space for their wheelchair or other equipment). That's not a value judgement of who 'deserves' what based on their status. It's a mathematical fact.

So, had the OP been 'IABU to take the room with the best view' for example then absolutely I would agree with you and say she's not being U. In fact, even the en-suite, she wouldn't be U and that's what she should have done - take a smaller room with the en-suite.

But space? That's unreasonable. And, her friends have already supported her, they are subbing her share. They don't have to martyr themselves like you propose, if someone needed loads of 'support and acknowledgement' implying that going on holiday with a load of couples is uncomfortable then... holiday with other single people.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 27/10/2023 23:56

But why take the biggest room? Seems a strange thing to do if you're on your own and your friends are all couples.

It's just a weird thing to do

Theemeperorsnewclothes · 27/10/2023 23:59

@Huhuhuhu thanks, that’s a really insightful input. OP you are not being unreasonable, able bodied or not. I hope you have a fab holiday and I hope society catches up, to stop single shaming, and discriminating against (mainly single women).

friendlycat · 28/10/2023 00:00

Personally I wouldn’t have taken the biggest room. Having arrived first I would have selected a smaller room with en-suite.

Sadly it’s created a sour atmosphere in your own words.

Years ago I was regularly you being the single person in a group. But there is tact and practical issues such as two people using up more space than one. Then you recognise that your rate has been subbed a bit by the others. Therefore, taking the biggest room really wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do. Hence one of the couple’s questioning this and a slightly sour atmosphere at the start of your stay.