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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

478 replies

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:28

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/10/2023 08:29

I wouldn’t have paid the extra and especially not for no bed; I would demand a refund for the night where you literally have nowhere to sleep. And I would go home today

Eleganz · 27/10/2023 08:29

Make your excuses and leave. Learn the lesson that CFery should be called out immediately and with full force, don't try and save people's blushes.

MargotBamborough · 27/10/2023 08:30

Eleganz · 27/10/2023 08:29

Make your excuses and leave. Learn the lesson that CFery should be called out immediately and with full force, don't try and save people's blushes.

And yes, this.

Don't wait until you've paid your money and someone else is sleeping in the bed that you've paid for to make a scene.

forgivingfiggy · 27/10/2023 08:31

Oh god. I think you were in a difficult position with the room but the updates are just a 'fuck no' from me. I'd leave as soon as you are able to and make it up to the bride at a later date.

Killingmytime · 27/10/2023 08:32

I would not be giving them any extra money and id be leaving. Id also say why, selfish gits.

HelloItsMeHowAreYou · 27/10/2023 08:42

I cant believe an AirBnB would have NO extra bedding when the owners know how many people are coming! That is dreadful. But the owners should be texted/emailed pronto to come and sort it. It isnt up to the other guests to share bedding (apart from a pillow if they have 2)

The rest of it sounds awful and very cheeky/selfish of the others

PecanPeach · 27/10/2023 08:44

I'm in the "go home" camp as well and ask to be reimbursed for a nights money!

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/10/2023 08:51

therealcookiemonster · 26/10/2023 23:56

oh my gosh. these girls sound awful. you are being way nicer than I would have been. firstly, I have a policy to not share accommodation arrangements unless it's someone I know really really well. and the minute I was told there would be no proper bed, I would have have left and stayed in a nearby hotel or just gone back home. but I am a ruthless old bag. i think you've gone past the 'avoiding a scene threshold' at this point. if I were you, I would leave in the morning.

I am a ruthless old bag

I am, too - but I have learned to be a ruthless old bag the hard way, as probably OP has now.

It is remarkably freeing, isn't it, when you couldn't give an eff what other people think of you, and just speak your mind!

I don't go out of my way to be rude or argumentative, but I don't get taken advantage of now - when I look back at some of the sh!t I put up with when I was younger, I could kick myself.

RampantIvy · 27/10/2023 08:51

I would also ask the airbnb hosts how many this place was meant to sleep as it sounds like there were too many people. I would be quite happy to dob the MOH in.

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/10/2023 08:52

Bristoluser · 27/10/2023 00:13

Seriously if they don't all share their bedding then you need to the bride that you can't sleep if there's no bedding and so have to go home

And you will need your money back.

Because you aren't staying even ONE night.

CloudyAgain · 27/10/2023 08:53

These people are arseholes.

I'm sorry. Thanks

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/10/2023 08:57

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 27/10/2023 01:50

I’d leave tonight if no bedding as it’s obvious you’re not welcome!

That is after I took ALL the booze, emptied the whole lot down the sink, then snuck the empty bottles and scattered them around the CF bedroom and en-suite to make it look like they’d drunk it all……….

I LIKE IT!

Will you be my friend? Grin

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 27/10/2023 08:58

I'd just leave. Won't be treated like shit for anyone regardless of them being a bride.

billy1966 · 27/10/2023 09:00

I agree with the suggestion that it is likely the OP and grooms side have subsidised this accommodation.

A broken camp bed and no bedding?

Sounds like they have not only caught the OP for extra money but likely have more staying than was booked for.

Funny how its alway those that don't know the crowd going well, are there for the bride, are the people that get screwed over.

I think they know EXACTLY what they are doing and have taken totally advantage of you.

I'd be inclined to insist on contacting the Airbnb hot directly and drop the organiser totally in it.

You paid for a bed which you did not get.

If you insist on staying, those two need to vacate at 10am.

Highly likely the people arriving today will bunk down with you as they will have had a few drinks.

These are the brides friends that have chosen to rip off the grooms side, she needs to be told.

Unfortunately its always the passive people who get ripped off.

Pipsquiggle · 27/10/2023 09:01

They are CF

As soon as you are up just move your stuff into that room.

If they say anything I would just say that they are taking the piss - taking the best room but paying the least.

Iamnotalemming · 27/10/2023 09:02

Awful people!!
Another vote for leaving ASAP!!!

purpleopolis · 27/10/2023 09:03

I do hope you are ok Op,?whatever you decided to do in the end. I am aghast at everything I’ve read and can’t believe that people can act like this. I hope you got some sleep.

nettie434 · 27/10/2023 09:05

Having a fold up bed when you were already paying extra to cover the friends who decided to only stay one night was bad enough but the lack of bedding and the refusal to share a pillow or blanket is even worse. You were right not to share the cost of the drinks bought by the sister. I doubt you would have got your fair share. If you are being kind and staying, then you must get your stuff into the en suite room ASAP.

Like other posters, I'd also be wondering how many people were booked into the Air BnB.

MinnieGirl · 27/10/2023 09:07

I’m sorry but a broken bed and no bedding means I need a total refund. As I don’t have a bed to sleep in. If you don’t want to upset the bride, just pack up your stuff and leave as early as you can legally drive. You didn’t have a bed so couldn’t stay. And stay well away from these awful people at the wedding.

secondtimemumma · 27/10/2023 09:08

Can’t believe how rude people can be! Hope you’re okay

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/10/2023 09:09

billy1966 · 27/10/2023 09:00

I agree with the suggestion that it is likely the OP and grooms side have subsidised this accommodation.

A broken camp bed and no bedding?

Sounds like they have not only caught the OP for extra money but likely have more staying than was booked for.

Funny how its alway those that don't know the crowd going well, are there for the bride, are the people that get screwed over.

I think they know EXACTLY what they are doing and have taken totally advantage of you.

I'd be inclined to insist on contacting the Airbnb hot directly and drop the organiser totally in it.

You paid for a bed which you did not get.

If you insist on staying, those two need to vacate at 10am.

Highly likely the people arriving today will bunk down with you as they will have had a few drinks.

These are the brides friends that have chosen to rip off the grooms side, she needs to be told.

Unfortunately its always the passive people who get ripped off.

I'd be inclined to insist on contacting the Airbnb hot directly and drop the organiser totally in it.

Absolutely do this!

And ask for your money back - and if necessary be prepared to go to the small claims court to get it, because I bet my bottom dollar that people are right and you have subsidised the entire hen party. I know this sounds extreme, but people like this get away with so much. It's bullying, and it's effectively theft by another name.

Meeting · 27/10/2023 09:14

I'd have lost my shit by now.

FallingShort · 27/10/2023 09:22

Sounds absolutely awful for you and SIL, I'm so sorry you're having to endure these women. It shouldn't be up to you to point what their right course of action should be, they're grown-assed women. And you've been very kind and gracious by keeping the bride's feelings and hen experience as your priority focus - I hope she reflects on these few days and appreciates how much you care for her.

JadeSeahorse · 27/10/2023 09:23

Well firstly OP, I have to applaud both you and sil, (I am assuming you are Dsis and Dw of the groom?). You both sound like absolute sweethearts who are being treated absolutely appallingly by EVERYONE in this party.

I know you aren’t complaining to the bride to be but she would have to be deaf, dumb and blind - no disrespect to anyone connected to this awful disability - not to see what is happening here along with the MOH. And, who invited the extra freeloaders who are joining you to use the facilities and not paying a cent? Both seem quite content with this! 😡

I would have left last night and demanded a full refund as soon as CFs nabbed the en suite room. I have learned over the years that being nice to this extent just allows you to be walked all over. Please tell your DB what happened when you arrive home as I am sure he will be furious too. Hopefully he can arrange a partial refund for you as surely his wife’s share would have come out of his pocket too!

I am so, so sorry this weekend has turned out to be so horrendous for you both. 😥

JadeSeahorse · 27/10/2023 09:26

Meeting · 27/10/2023 09:14

I'd have lost my shit by now.

Me too with stonking great bells on!

We are just not that nice @Meeting 😂