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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

478 replies

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:28

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
TodayInahurry · 27/10/2023 07:01

Hen dos are my idea of hell, I only went to one. No travel or staying away. Declined all others that involved travel and hotels

Strictlymad · 27/10/2023 07:02

Seems to me you are only wanted there as financial help, to sub others attending. Can’t believe they want you to pay for the drink too! I totally understand not upsetting the bride but I would leave too. Say it’s a shame the air bnb was misadvertised but it clearly isn’t designed to sleep x amount, have a lovely time etc etc. Much further down the line if it comes up with groom, just explain the facts, no emotion and he can do with the info as he likes.

Potentialmadcatlady · 27/10/2023 07:07

I went to a hen with my two sis in laws and I didn’t know bride well at all. I didn’t know any of her friends and we were a good 15years old than the bride and her friends. She really wanted us to come so we did.
We were embraced by the friends and fully included in all of the fun. I was dreading it but we ended up having a whale of a time.
Honestly OP I would leave this am ( if you haven’t already). The money is gone and I can understand why you aren’t asking for it back but life is too short to stay there suffering with those bitches

HappyMavis · 27/10/2023 07:11

This is crazy, it reads like a bad short story!!

itsgettingweird · 27/10/2023 07:33

If there's no bedding g are you sure they booed the air b and b for the right number of people? Eg - you are not not basically paying 50% of the whole cost for 6 people for 2 nights?

Also agree with those who say if they've paid a night they need to check out at 10am. Not stay in that room all day and have the visiting friends in there and then give it up for you to sleep.

Although something tells me they'll decide to stay another night - just because - and their friends too.

CoolShoeshine · 27/10/2023 07:47

What’s the betting that the ladies arriving tomorrow to hang out will be too drunk to leave at the end of the day!

Daffodilsandtuplips · 27/10/2023 08:01

saveforthat · 26/10/2023 15:35

Well why would you pay towards their share if they have pulled out? Just say they can stay one or two nights but the cost will be the same.

This. Why didn’t the rest of you say you pay the price as agreed regardless of how many nights you’re staying.
But right now tell them you’re having the bigger room because you've paid for two nights. They can have the sofa bed, it makes sense considering they’re moving out the following day. Tell them no,

MarryingMrDarcy · 27/10/2023 08:04

itsgettingweird · 27/10/2023 07:33

If there's no bedding g are you sure they booed the air b and b for the right number of people? Eg - you are not not basically paying 50% of the whole cost for 6 people for 2 nights?

Also agree with those who say if they've paid a night they need to check out at 10am. Not stay in that room all day and have the visiting friends in there and then give it up for you to sleep.

Although something tells me they'll decide to stay another night - just because - and their friends too.

That’s a good point and a few others have also picked up on this. I wouldn’t be surprised if OP has inadvertently subbed everyone’s accommodation.

icantchangetime · 27/10/2023 08:04

Id leave.

These people are beyond reasonable so no point entering a discussion.

Absolute scum behaviour

rookiemere · 27/10/2023 08:04

I'd say after not being able to sleep last night because of no bedding, you and SIL are going home and can you have a refund of your second night and the extra you paid please.

But I know you won't so as the ones in the ensuite will be hungover today, you could barge in and say as you've had little sleep you need to catch up using the bedroom and could they kindly F off please.

wildwestpioneer · 27/10/2023 08:06

They all sound fucking awful. I think I'd have a quiet word with the bride and tell her you're going home, arrange a catch up with her between you, the bride and your friend outside of these selfish wankers!

wildwestpioneer · 27/10/2023 08:07

wildwestpioneer · 27/10/2023 08:06

They all sound fucking awful. I think I'd have a quiet word with the bride and tell her you're going home, arrange a catch up with her between you, the bride and your friend outside of these selfish wankers!

I'd also tell them that because you're leaving early you want a refund as you're not staying another night - well no I wouldnt but it would be bloody tempting

Honeyroar · 27/10/2023 08:08

I’d leave today. This won’t get any better with this lot. I know you’re there “for the bride” but did she find you a blanket or worry about you on the fold up bed??

LookItsMeAgain · 27/10/2023 08:13

That's a bloody disgrace.

I'd be wondering if the cheapskates that took the room with the ensuite discovered that there was no bedding for the fold out bed/sofa, and that the fold out bed was broken when they arrived, if they got to the location before you.

You should definitely contact AirBnB about that and say that you were very disappointed that there was no bedding provided for this bed even though the booking was for X number of guests.

I also don't know why you didn't just take the blankets from the beds to be honest. These women are awful and when the heat dies down, I'd be letting the bride know just what I thought of her 'friends' when they treated her friends so poorly!

I hope you leave today and don't hang around for more of the same type of treatment.

saveforthat · 27/10/2023 08:14

If this is true, I'm amazed that people can be so awful (other hens) or such doormats (you).
Just leave and refuse to pay any extra. Explain why to the bride.

ElleCapitaine · 27/10/2023 08:15

If you’re staying make sure you move ALL your stuff into the bedroom this morning before all the friends arrive - I’ll bet you any money you like they’ll all stay tomorrow night anyway along with all the other freeloading mates who’ll no doubt show up with airbeds. The minute they’re out of the beds strip them, chuck everything in the washing machine - don’t ask - just do it. I think I’d plead COVID symptoms and go home.

billy1966 · 27/10/2023 08:15

Awful.

That is one very rough crowd.

Why anyone would go near a Hen do is beyond me.

They invariably seem on MN to be opportunities to rip people off.

Between her CF friends demanding money, her sister looking for money for alcohol, her friends using the facilities while not paying, that crowd are the dregs.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 27/10/2023 08:17

The whole thing sounds like a nightmare! I'd be leaving straight away and expecting a refund for the extra night.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/10/2023 08:20

MoH needs to get a partial refund for the broken bed and lack of bedding (assuming she booked for that many people and wasn’t freeloading). Either way, she should be refunding you.

HowToSaveAWife · 27/10/2023 08:20

Leave this morning and tell MOH you want a refund - because you're not staying the second night and also because you had no fucking bedding. This is insane behaviour and worse for both of you to go along with it.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 27/10/2023 08:21

I bet they end up staying as will the other free loaders. Another poster has it right, the lack of bedding sounds like the organiser has just paid for however many the bedding covered. Don’t fork any more money out.

KingsleyBorder · 27/10/2023 08:24

Clearly the MOH has pulled a fast one and exceeded the permitted number on the booking, otherwise she could have been straight on to the host to get the bedding.

I can see that the others might genuinely have nothing spare to offer you but it sounds like they didn’t try very hard.

Hope you had an OK night.

Merrymouse · 27/10/2023 08:25

Is there ‘no bedding’, or did the MOH just book somewhere with too few beds?

RampantIvy · 27/10/2023 08:28

I'm with everyone else, and would just cut your losses and go home today. If you stay they will try and guilt trip you into parting with more cash.

I'd feel inclined to just leave quietly, then post on the group chat exactly why you have left, then leave the chat. You will avoid confrontation this way.

MargotBamborough · 27/10/2023 08:28

Oh dear OP. You're not on a hen do, you're at a cheeky fucker convention.

I would have refused to pay the MoH any extra amount. She's the one who agreed to give the other two a discount without running is past anybody else. She should cover their share for the second night.