To not pay for her ticket or any part of it?

[HalfTermDayOut]

Half term next week. Going to an attraction with my DD (aged 9) and my mum.

I get DLA for DD, so my ticket is free as a carers ticket (and I always spend in the gift shop/experiences while there to make up for it).

Mum invited herself to come along, so I said she’d have to pay for her own ticket.

She’s saying no, either she gets in on the carers ticket and I pay for my ticket or we split the cost of 1 adult ticket equally between us so it’s cost us both the same.

I don’t care if she comes or not, DD is not bothered if she’s there or not. She wants to come because she has serious FOMO and won’t miss out on something.

So WIBU? Me or mum?

Vote:
YANBU - Don't pay any part of her ticket
YABU - Split it or let her in for free and pay for yourself

I normal circumstances I'd be prepared to split the cost, but lots of posters seem to have missed this bit of the OP:

"She’s saying no, either she gets in on the carers ticket and I pay for my ticket or..."

The CFery of suggesting that SHE should get in free while OP pays full price is staggering. And that would make me dig my heels in.

YANBU at all, OP. I'd simply say that in that case you and your DD will go by yourselves as planned.

Do you think someone is forcing the private company to do this? It's 100% their choice. You might as well say that it doesn't sound right to you that they pay their employees and directors and allow them free entry, or that they don't double their prices.

I was just going to write the same thing. My friends dd barely manages two hours at our local zoo but absolutely adoes going. She wouldn't be able to go very often at all if her carers ticket wasn't free. I'm sure my friend would LOVE to have her dd well enough to be able to pay for a whole day and actually stay and make the most of it.
She also gets free car parking. Maybe some posters begrudge that too.

£35 is quite a lot compared to £18. As you are going for DD benefit I can see her point. I would pay half only if she agrees to pay the other half. Make sure she gives you the money before you go. If that's what you plan to do.

Carers tickets are for anybody who is in receipt of carers allowance and therefore has official caring responsibilities for a person in receipt of DLA. Not just children.

It isn't about not otherwise just sending a child off on their own. Many children in receipt of DLA will have such severe and complex needs that they couldn't go without a specific person, their carer, who understands their needs and can provide the care they need.

So for example say a day out was planned and a parent was going to take a group of children. One of the children has a physical disability, incontinence, tube fed, complex medications. That kind of responsibility cannot be placed upon a friends parent. So the child's parent can go along at no extra cost just to support them.

Okay, you had me going for a while but you've jumped the shark now.

Nobody actually thinks like this, unless their name is Lord Thatcher McTory III.

If she’s invited herself along, no she doesn’t get her ticket paid for or half paid for.

You shouldn’t have to spend money you wouldn’t otherwise have to spend because someone invites themselves along - esp if you and Dd don’t care if she comes or not.

Doesn't that depend on whether she is able to provide care, and whether OP's daughter wants and trusts her to do so?

You don't need to claim carers allowance. I go with friends to things and they get a carers ticket with me.

I'm asked for proof of my disabilities. My friends aren't asked for anything.

@Wonkasworld

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

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😂😂 oh the ignorance.

Why on Earth are some people on here begrudging the parents of disabled children a “free” ticket?

Yes all children need an adult with them, but having an able bodied etc child is a much easier life than if they are disabled, and a much easier day out. Plus the parent of the disabled child would find it much harder if not impossible to work outside the home.

You don't need to claim carers allowance. I go with friends to things and they get a carers ticket with me.

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I think it varies from place to place.

I've been asked for evidence of receiving carers allowance in some places, and others just want to see evidence of DLA.

Your Mum is taking advantage of your DD's disability for her own financial gain. Grim.

If you'd asked her to go with you to care for your child so that you could fully make use of the attraction - then she should get the carer ticket.

If you'd asked her to go for company for you, and to help you with your child, then then the carer ticket should be split.

Since you've not asked her to go, and (presumably) she won't be doing any caring of your child, then you get the carer ticket and she pays full price. If, however, you are expecting her to share the caring of your child if she goes, so that you can use the attraction (rides etc) then I do think the carers ticket should be split. Basically the caring discount should reflect who is providing the care on the day.

We've paid full price to go to something then my DD with ASD has needed to find somewhere quiet for a couple of hours with one parent while dd2 finishes going round/leave because it's too loud and overwhelming. I can see why parents with disabled children would be hesitant to pay full whack without knowing how their child would handle it. Ultimately it's a business decision. They've obviously decided it's worth their while.

Some people are just utter cunts.

I'd rather have my child not struggle every single day rather than get a free zoo ticket every so often. But they think people are out for anything they can get.

Totally agree

Personally I think that the uninvited person who's suggested that SHE go free on the carer's ticket and the actual carer pay full price, is by far the more unreasonable.

I don’t understand people who reply this - ‘well I’d be a wet blanket/pushover to the unreasonable request but that because I like the person’. The holier-than-thou attitude doesn’t paint you in the good light you think it does.

@HalfTermDayOut I wouldn’t give in at all. Your mum wasn’t invited, if she wants to come along great! But why should you incur additional costs (as a parent carer as well!) because someone else - parent or not - is trying to scam a free day out? You get a free ticket as a reflection of your circumstances, not as some sort of prize that’s nice to share.

Sounds like you're not keen on your mum at all, in which case, you don't have to pay towards her ticket. Perhaps she isn't aware you feel like this towards her though and is expecting a more 'helping each other out' type relationship.

So £35 ticket free for OP is too much, but not for OP's mother to take it instead, despite not being the child's carer?

I'm bowing out now lol.

I wouldn't be keen on my mum if she pulled this crap on us either - in my mum's case, she has MS herself so actually, I would subsidise her.

But she also wouldn't invite herself along for a free/discounted ticket either.

These private companies hate me, I get two carer tickets when I book. Two adults going in for free, these places are now destitute! They may have to start blacklisting carers 😢🤣

I think some people are putting a carers ticket in the same league as a freebie/voucher.

What’s it got to do with the taxpayer if private companies offer concessionary tickets? If anything , the taxpayer benefits because families with disabled children might then be able to go, so profit is made from the accompanying paying visitors, with taxes paid on profits.

I’m a taxpayer, and I’d gladly see my taxes used to make things accessible and comfortable for families with disabled members. God knows how much it would cost the country to care for disabled people if family carers weren’t carrying out this difficult role for a pittance.

I’d far rather my taxes paid for something that benefitted a disabled child than give yet more money to Rishi Sunak’s wife, or subsidise MP’s dinners and drinks, or pay off the energy companies.