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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for her ticket or any part of it?

451 replies

HalfTermDayOut · 26/10/2023 12:32

Half term next week. Going to an attraction with my DD (aged 9) and my mum.

I get DLA for DD, so my ticket is free as a carers ticket (and I always spend in the gift shop/experiences while there to make up for it).

Mum invited herself to come along, so I said she’d have to pay for her own ticket.

She’s saying no, either she gets in on the carers ticket and I pay for my ticket or we split the cost of 1 adult ticket equally between us so it’s cost us both the same.

I don’t care if she comes or not, DD is not bothered if she’s there or not. She wants to come because she has serious FOMO and won’t miss out on something.

So WIBU? Me or mum?

Vote:
YANBU - Don't pay any part of her ticket
YABU - Split it or let her in for free and pay for yourself

OP posts:
porridgeisbae · 26/10/2023 13:28

Someone doesn't get to invite themselves and then be fully or partly paid for (unless the other person can comfortably afford it.)

Neriah · 26/10/2023 13:28

ProvisionsOnTheDock · 26/10/2023 12:41

I would split the cost. But then I think free carers tickets are a weird concept, you're hardly going to send any 9 year old to an attraction alone whether they have additional needs or not.

You clearly don't understand the different demands in terms of care between able-bodied people and people with disabilities. Carers tickets are not just for children either.

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:28

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

HappiDaze · 26/10/2023 13:28

What a selfish woman your DM is

Unbelievable

Theunamedcat · 26/10/2023 13:29

OtherSideofNowhere · 26/10/2023 13:27

Having had to leave multiple attractions early due to my child’s disability, I’m very grateful for carers’ tickets as it makes my soul sink less that I’ve not paid a fortune for the hour we spent there. Begrudging carers of children a free ticket is a new low.

Exactly I'm paying £100 (ish) for an attraction next week full cost no carers discount etc im DREADING it what if one ticks off what if one runs off what if they just can't cope

SpudleyLass · 26/10/2023 13:29

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:28

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

That private company is offering that £35 ticket to carers.

HappiDaze · 26/10/2023 13:30

I wouldn't want her tagging along for the day if she's like this. Not fun.

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · 26/10/2023 13:30

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:28

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

“Won’t someone please think of the private companies?!” 😂😂 I get it now you’re just trying to sound outrageous. Well done, as you were.

Cosyblankets · 26/10/2023 13:30

ColleenDonaghy · 26/10/2023 13:19

Of course it's snide.

All of these activities will have a range of prices thanks to memberships, online offers etc. Not everyone there on a given day will have paid the same price for the same experience. The (private) company has chosen to reduce the price for families with disabled children, to make things more affordable (I'm sure you know it's more expensive to be disabled, and many parents of disabled children are forced to give up work to take on a caring role) and offer a little light relief.

I think it's awful, snide, mean, to begrudge that.

Show quote history

Maybe I'm just shocked at the price of attractions. I feel for people on low incomes for two kids and two adults that's over £100 just to get in.

porridgeisbae · 26/10/2023 13:30

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

A lot of companies choose to have concessions like this for people with disabilities and their carers. It makes them look good, because it's considered a decent thing to do.

horseyhorsey17 · 26/10/2023 13:30

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:22

I think the tax payer cares.

Show quote history

I'm a tax payer and I don't care. In fact, I'd think it's a good use of my taxes - it isn't though as it's a private company that isn't subsidised by the tax payer.

10/10 for compassion btw.

avemariiiaa · 26/10/2023 13:30

She's being very cheeky and entitled.

Carers tickets are on offer to support families who have a disabled relative. These families are often surviving on a lower income, or the disabled person couldn't attend without an official carer.

It isn't a perk to be dished out amongst other people just to save them money.

My mum would never dream of suggesting something like this nor would she accept me giving her the free ticket and paying for myself.

Of course if you are comfortable enough to afford to pay for her ticket, and wanted to do so, that's different, but she has no rights to a carer ticket especially when you are attending.

HappiDaze · 26/10/2023 13:31

SchadenfreudeIstMeinMittelname · 26/10/2023 12:43

I think the moral of this story is don't tell your mother about your plans.

Yes this from now on

Fromthebirdsnest · 26/10/2023 13:31

What ? Absolutely not tell her she's not coming ! Stand up for yourself..

TomatoSandwiches · 26/10/2023 13:31

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:28

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

The discount isn't forced upon the private company ( you do understand this don't you? ) Its a choice they willingly make and offer.... presumably because they understand the disparancy carers and their disabled family members face every day.

Passepartoute · 26/10/2023 13:31

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:20

I totally agree that carers should get discounts or other concessions, absolutely. They work damn hard. I just think 35 quid for an attraction is a bit much as a freebie. A proportion of it free, eg 50 per cent, fair enough.

You do realise that the chances are that it's not a treat for the carer, don't you? They're there because the disabled person wants to go, not because they want to. They may be bored to tears by the attraction, and certainly won't be able to take full advantage of it. While they're there they will still be working, whether it's pushing the individual concerned in a wheelchair, helping them onto and off rides, fetching their meal for them, helping them in the toilets, etc etc.

Theunamedcat · 26/10/2023 13:31

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:28

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

By choice? It's nothing to do with you so why are you so outraged by the concept?

jlpth · 26/10/2023 13:32

Unless she is very hard up and you are loaded, then she is being very unreasonable.

horseyhorsey17 · 26/10/2023 13:33

Your mum is taking the piss OP. Mind you it's exactly the kind of argument I'd have with my own mum.

LIZS · 26/10/2023 13:33

Could you go without her, clearly yes. Could your dd go without you, no. So you get the carer ticket.

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:34

Passepartoute · 26/10/2023 13:31

You do realise that the chances are that it's not a treat for the carer, don't you? They're there because the disabled person wants to go, not because they want to. They may be bored to tears by the attraction, and certainly won't be able to take full advantage of it. While they're there they will still be working, whether it's pushing the individual concerned in a wheelchair, helping them onto and off rides, fetching their meal for them, helping them in the toilets, etc etc.

Show quote history

I agree so for a rest, maybe the mother could go.

Neriah · 26/10/2023 13:34

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:22

I think the tax payer cares.

Show quote history

Tax payers don't pay for it. BTW - I am a taxpayer; I am disabled; and I can also get carers tickets. Let's be clear, you are complaining able-bodied people don't get something because you are turning this into the latest in a long line of bigotted threads about people with disabilities.

SpudleyLass · 26/10/2023 13:34

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:34

I agree so for a rest, maybe the mother could go.

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Can the mother cope with the child's needs?

That matters the most.

viques · 26/10/2023 13:34

Wonkasworld · 26/10/2023 13:28

So a private company is going to lose out on £35. OK. Doesn't sound right to me. Council run, yes.

I would stop digging that pit now if I were you, you are in very deep and might need someone to throw you a rope in a minute.

billyt · 26/10/2023 13:34

Theunamedcat · 26/10/2023 13:27

It's a private company not funded by the government what has it got to do with the taxpayers?

Incidentally carers allowance IS TAXABLE

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This should be of more concern to those questioning a private company giving a concession to carers.

WTF is this pittance taxed when the money crews save the country is huge?

I'm luckily not in the position of needing carers allowance, though do a caring role, but this penny-pinching over the amount I guess ministers spend on daily coffees is a joke.