To not pay for her ticket or any part of it?

[HalfTermDayOut]

Half term next week. Going to an attraction with my DD (aged 9) and my mum.

I get DLA for DD, so my ticket is free as a carers ticket (and I always spend in the gift shop/experiences while there to make up for it).

Mum invited herself to come along, so I said she’d have to pay for her own ticket.

She’s saying no, either she gets in on the carers ticket and I pay for my ticket or we split the cost of 1 adult ticket equally between us so it’s cost us both the same.

I don’t care if she comes or not, DD is not bothered if she’s there or not. She wants to come because she has serious FOMO and won’t miss out on something.

So WIBU? Me or mum?

Vote:
YANBU - Don't pay any part of her ticket
YABU - Split it or let her in for free and pay for yourself

I agree with this

How is she going to force you pay if you tell her you won’t. Guilt on the day?

Given that you make a point of saying that you didn't invite your mum and that you and your DD don't care whether she comes with you or not, it sounds to me like there might be drip-feed coming about the relationship between you and your mum in general.

I'd happily split the cost of the ticket with my mum, or we'd have a full-on 'No, let me get this!' 'No, put your money away! I'll get it!' 'No, no, this is my treat, I'm getting it!' discussion about it like Mrs Doyle and her friend in Father Ted. But then, my mum wouldn't just randomly invite herself on a day out like that, she'd wait to be asked. So I think maybe there's a different dynamic here where your mum has form for taking the piss?

It's a nice thing to support families with disabled DC. No need to overthink it or be snide.

(And many families may need an extra carer if they have multiple DC but one will need extra care or can't go on rides etc.)

Does your mum care for your child in any way?

Because if not, there is no way she is entitled to a carer's ticket.

This is one of the cheekiest things I've read in a long while too, Op.

And carers usually get free tickets alongside their charges because they are more likely to be out of work or forced to work restricted hours and therefore, have restricted income.

Your mum is so rude.

This would be exactly me and my mum too 😂 if she paid I’d be sneaking the money into her handbag later and vice Versa 😂

Why are carers tickets a strange concept?
Many carers are on a very small income and would not be able to take their disabled child out to certain events/attractions if they were not subsidised or discounted.

That was supposed to be a reply to @ColleenDonaghy re Mrs Doyle

Not to mention with attractions/rides, it makes sense for the companies running them to offer free carer entry, as most likely they don't want to be held liable for anything that would happen to a disabled individual, which would be less likely if they have their carer with them.

My mum once left £100 behind the toaster because we'd ordered pizza for 5

She’s saying no, either she gets in on the carers ticket and I pay for my ticket or we split the cost of 1 adult ticket equally between us so it’s cost us both the same.

Or…she doesn’t come. I’d vote for that. Is she expecting you to drive her as well?!

I get into things free as a carer for my 76 year old DH. I guess people think that's weird as well. Do you want my carer duties as well?

She sounds entitled but you should like you don’t like her very much.
Its all relative my mum would offer to pay and I’d offer to pay for her.

Sounds like there’s a back story.

It's perfectly simple. If she wants to come, she pays. If she doesn't want to pay, she doesn't come.

I'm shocked that you get £35 free, for an attraction. Something that is not a necessity.

I would pat for my mum! All day! ALWAYS!!!

This comment doesn't reflect well on you.

And that's fair enough but this is one adult and one child. No one is being snide!
No child is going to go without an adult. So really is £53 for the child to go, that's assuming it's an attraction aimed at kids where adults wouldn't go on their own either.
It might seem more fair if the carer ticket was for an extra adult.
In any case i can't imagine falling out with my mum over £17.50

So a child with disabilities should just stay home? Do you have a child with complex disabilities?

I have a dd on DLA. We use these tickets where she wants to do something I genuinely am not bothered for doing... because I know I won't get the 'full' experience even the full parent experience because of DD... not her fault she's disabled.

Sometimes if it's something I actually am bothered about seeing, or my other dc are coming, I take along another adult to support DD and thus they use the free ticket. Caring for a disabled child is tough.

I struggle with other people thinking they are entitled to the discounts given to the disabled or their carers... most of my/Dds family don't know we claim for her otherwise they would genuinely be expecting to use her discounts leaving me to pick up the pieces.

I'd tell your mum you don't need her to come so if she insists she pays her ticket. If you can book your tickets in advance - tell her she needs to book her own - so that she can't add to your entry on the day.

I stand by it.

Its meant for the disabled individual, generally. If prices are so high that the carer can't afford it, then the disabled individual will likely miss out.

If £35 is too much for the Op to get for free, its too much for Op's mother, who presumably does not provide care - especially full time care - to the child.

'Okay mum, let's not bother then. I was looking forward to some quality alone time with DD anyway. I get the free ticket because I am her carer and provider...24/7, not just the odd day here and there'.

I can't believe a mum would act like this. I'd have happily paid for mine but as soon as someone assumes or acts entitled to something, I'm completely done.

I can't work because of my disabled daughter.

£17. 50 is a lot of money to lose when I don't need to.

Exactly my thinking!