Fed up of patients who clearly having nothing better to complain about than how I look

[fedupofnightshifts]

NC for this.
It's probably me being oversensitive because I'm relatively new in the job, but I've just finished a crappy nightshift in A&E, really busy and hardly stopped since yesterday evening. And I'm really pissed off that a really rude and entitled man decided to seemingly single me out for complaint, initially because he'd been waiting for hours because he'd been triaged well down the list, and secondly because he didn't think I look 'professional'.
So he commented about an hour after he got there and I'd spoken to him that I had a hole in my tights. Nothing new, happens all the time to me at work. I'd apologised and then of course totally forgotten about it. Fast forward to 4am when he eventually got seen (by me) and he was clearly pissed off that he'd been waiting all night so not in a very co-operative mood. Of course he would notice again that tights are still holed because I've not fucking stopped and no chance to change them, and I'd also undone the top press stud on my dress because I was boiling, still totally decent because it zips right up but I guess it's the equivalent of loosening your tie a bit.
Then he made some comment that my dress was really creased and maybe I should consider ironing it. Not the creases that you get when it comes out of the washing machine, but like lap wrinkles from sitting and just general wear creases.
I know it's stupid but I just felt like shit. I didn't say anything to anyone. I don't know whether it constitutes harrassment or whether to just put it down to dealing with shit from the general public?
Not sure what my AIBU is, just tired and fucked off.

And I would make sure that he waited another four hours.

YANBU just ignore. Easier said than done when you’re at the end of a long shift. I visited an elderly family friend in hospital and asked how she was finding it. The answer was ‘ok but don’t trust one of the nurses as they are not professional’. Expecting her to have received some substandard care from said nurse I asked what he had done. ‘Well he’s very kind and is efficient but his uniform is crumpled so what other corners does he cut’. It’s crazy to me that some people place appearance above the actual experience of how someone treats you.

If he's that ill to be in A&E, what's he doing commenting on your attire??? Sorry that you had to deal with such an arsehole <3

Thank you for all your hard work. If I knew you I'd buy you a years supply of tights. This man is batshit. Try not to let this get to you or anything else similar that might happen again. Working in A and E has got to be one of the most difficult, upsetting, tiring jobs in the world and thank god people like you show up and do it it.

And this is one of a long list of reasons I couldn't do your job... I would have just said your right sir I think you should wait until someone with freshly ironed and a more professional appearance is ready to treat you. Goodbye
Snarky git.

I had a patient who looked me straight in the face, turn to my colleague and ask “why is she so ugly?”. She had dementia and, in any event, would not have known that I’d had a shit morning so I spent that visit fighting back tears.
Later that day when I had gotten over what initially had upset me, I was laughing about that comment with my team.
Sometimes we get so stressed that things that would normally wash over really hurt at the time. I think it’s a normal part of the job however unfortunate that is.

I work in a male dominated industry and some men will hone in on your appearance to undermine you. Personally I wouldn’t have apologised for a hole in my tights, I would have shut that crap down. Because once he saw you were bothered about it he obviously kept going.
My favourite one is ‘X’ you look stressed, tired, angry, pissed off etc etc. Anyway to comment on your appearance. I usually say yes I have a mobile face that displays a range of emotions just like you, I don’t feel the need to smile all the time. 🤣 I’m sure you are doing a great job, don’t let the arsehole into your brain.

It must be me. Cos today I was doing a bank shift on a ward and I had a patient tell me that the crocs I was wearing didn't look as smart as the 'nice shoes' that the doctor wears. Fucks sake.
I was telling one of the other nurses about what had happened, and she'd had a patient comment that her tights were the wrong kind of black for a nurse uniform!

Just, thank you for putting your dress on and going back to work tonight despite the dickheads.

Thank you. Tonight I'm off, slowly getting pissed with my housemate. Who thankfully doesn't give a shit about the fact that I'm still wearing potentially offensive work tights 😁

I too would have agreed professionalism matters, but sometimes we are making hard choices here. Perhaps you’re right and I’ve erred too much on the path of trying to see my patients, so I’m glad to know you’ll happily continue to wait while I look for some new tights.

I don't think he was owed an apology! It was extremely rude of him to point anything out. Soon enough you'll have witty comebacks for people like him and it will roll off your back.

Hi
I am so shocked that this d**head would comment on your uniform, where does he think he is, in Harrods?
Don't think about him anymore, you are working, you don't have time to think about yourself, let alone had time to have a drink or go to the loo.
You are doing an amazing job. I work in the NHS too, I couldn't work in A/E xx

I've worked with the general public in retail for about 35 years & my theory is that 99% of people are lovely, kind, caring human beings but 1% are total idiots who think that they are "owed" by Society. I'm so sorry that you had to encounter the 1% whilst working on your shift, i use to cope with these MORONS by telling myself how lucky i was that i didn't live with them 😂 After being seriously ill 7years ago i know first hand how hard you all work & that you are absolutely amazing. Rise above comments like you heard from Mr Arrogant & remember the lovely comments that have been left for you here. 🌹 Thank you for being you 🌹 xx

I'm a nurse op a patient once asked why all nurses are fat! I obviously kept my mouth closed but I could have easily let rip on him.
People are so rude and entitled sometimes.

100% this!
It was often the most pathetic individuals that took the opportunity to exercise their ‘power’ and would love to also say crap like ‘I pay your wages’ 🙄🤣🤣🤣

I used to get customers like this working in Bond street entitled misogynist some of the comments they would come out with because of your duty of care and mine was just retail. When they bring their wives along pity them they get it 24/7 on repeat . Reminds me of that radio play from Hell he would be recounting how he made useful comments to a nurse in A& E and couldn’t understand why due to some clerical error he ended up in Hell. He would get given goats feet for eternity his mouth sealed over permanently or a boil on Putins bottom in his next life something savoury like that. Nuns would be swearing in his presence and forgiven. There is a special place for these twats and it’s certainly not dwelling one moment longer in your thoughts

In the carry on films Matron would have a special way of dealing with men like this because that’s where his comments belong! Firstly paper gown with the backside exposed on the trolley big spoon of Cod liver oil , sadly no bar of soap to clean his mouth . Then wheel him in for a procedure of an intricate nature that requires forceps gloves and a large needle . If he is not suitably humbled at this point wheel him in for unpaid medical trials on a voluntary basis 😇because he is so detailed with his feedback we need to delve further

Here we go.. thinly veiled GP bash.

It would be helpful if pharmacies didn’t request unnecessary/un-needed medication from patients’ repeat lists or indeed their past meds/inactive meds. When I’m signing hundreds of scripts, I’m constantly having to check
-why is Mrs Smith requesting her 2 months worth of meds when she only had a script 3 weeks ago
-why is Mr Jones requesting that heart tablet that he hasn’t been taking since March 2022 and was stopped for good reason
-pharmacy has told me such and such eye drops are not in stock and asking for alternative (ok so what IS in stock as I can’t see your shelves right now)
-Mavis has 32 tubs of sudocrem at home and has asked the pharmacy to not request anymore for her yet every month, a big tub arrives at her door.

These are the issues GPs are experiencing from community pharmacies, just to add balance to your argument that ‘GPs are really inefficient’. I would argue that the private pharmacists are massively over ordering meds for profit purposes thus creating massive increases in workload to GPs and their admin teams and inconvenience to the patients.

aarghh sorry to derail but needed to get this out .

Sorry, this really IS a derail. My point is aimed at RampantIvy who had a go at GPs.
I remember A&E jobs being full of horrible ppl OP. Sorry you had to put up with this crap. Smile, stare, move on and bitch to your colleagues later.

He sounds like a complete tosser!

I've been in A&E recently and was just grateful to be seen and that the doctor was kind.

Please put him out of your mind, he's a rare occurrence

@3weeksuntilwine I note your comments with interest. Earlier this year I was getting a text message every other week to pick up meds from the pharmacy. 550 of one thing which I take occasionally. And all my other meds were out of sync.

The pharmacy said it was the GP. The GP said it was the pharmacy. I spoke to the: prescription desk, the practice manager, got an unsolicited call from the practice pharmacist who thought it would be helpful to explain how I shoukd take my medication. Eventually I made a GP appointment to try to sort it. After that - one drug was mispresceibed vis a vis quantity.

Whilst I appreciate your frustration, much of the issue relates to 56 day prescribing for routine meds and well controlled chronic conditions. I expect GPs to get the operations straight if 56 day prescribing is to prevail but I am I.oressed GPs have time to muck about with it. I don't but if it is to continue I expect the NHS to sort it out and for all its moving parts to stop blaming each other.

Patient time is as important as that of the physician and it's regrettable that is so often forgotten by your profession.

The issues I specifically raised are nothing to do with 56 day prescribing. When issuing meds, I take into account the number of pills issued and this is largely set by the box size set out by the manufacturers. If I prescribed 30 of many meds, it would involve the pharmacy having to spend longer counting out two extra tablets to add to a box (if that makes sense).

I do understand the frustration patients have with out of synch meds and requesting though. I do try to synchronise everything when I get chance opportunistically in consultations with patients.
I was actually alluding to my personal theory that pharmacies will often request meds for patients directly from the GP that the patient nor the prescriber wishes the patient to have and I believe, in my area, this is going on a lot and causing a waste of patient time, my time and NHS money.

@3weeksuntilwine what has prescribing in 30s to do with anything I have raised? As the pharmacists are commissioned under an NHS contract, this is something the commissioners need to sort out.

I take thyroxine, two strengths. Until about 2002 I got 365 tablets a year. And another prescription given when bloods were done. Since 2002 no GP has followed up the blood test, no GP has ever asked about my thyroid. There has been no change in the strength required.

56 day prescribing means I have to fart about going to the pharmacy five times more than necessary. It takes me half an hour a time. It is a waste of my time for which the average GP has no respect in any shape or form.

56 day prescribing introduces the opportunity for error operationally and gives pharmacies the opportunity to play the system. It's an NHS issue that needs sorting at commissioning level. It's another waste of public money. All those 90ps per prescription add up. It's yet another example of how the NHS messes people around.

GP's need to fight for more holistic prescribing as that would save much time. Sadly most don't care about the time of their patients.

Levothyroxine must be more expensive to prescribe than the cost of the drug. It is an utter nonsense.

I would venture that your profession would be better respected if some of its nonsense stopped and some of the red tape were dispensed with.

Sorry you have to deal with this. I nursed for almost 50 years and know how obnoxious people can be. I expect there wasn't much wrong with him or he would have been dealt with. Please let it go. He is the worse person not you. Keep up the good work. You are doing really well. And thank you.