Fed up of patients who clearly having nothing better to complain about than how I look

[fedupofnightshifts]

NC for this.
It's probably me being oversensitive because I'm relatively new in the job, but I've just finished a crappy nightshift in A&E, really busy and hardly stopped since yesterday evening. And I'm really pissed off that a really rude and entitled man decided to seemingly single me out for complaint, initially because he'd been waiting for hours because he'd been triaged well down the list, and secondly because he didn't think I look 'professional'.
So he commented about an hour after he got there and I'd spoken to him that I had a hole in my tights. Nothing new, happens all the time to me at work. I'd apologised and then of course totally forgotten about it. Fast forward to 4am when he eventually got seen (by me) and he was clearly pissed off that he'd been waiting all night so not in a very co-operative mood. Of course he would notice again that tights are still holed because I've not fucking stopped and no chance to change them, and I'd also undone the top press stud on my dress because I was boiling, still totally decent because it zips right up but I guess it's the equivalent of loosening your tie a bit.
Then he made some comment that my dress was really creased and maybe I should consider ironing it. Not the creases that you get when it comes out of the washing machine, but like lap wrinkles from sitting and just general wear creases.
I know it's stupid but I just felt like shit. I didn't say anything to anyone. I don't know whether it constitutes harrassment or whether to just put it down to dealing with shit from the general public?
Not sure what my AIBU is, just tired and fucked off.

People in A&E are the worst. I admire anyone who puts up with working there.

Whenever I've attended as a patient I've been criticised by other people in the waiting room. Some people just can't keep their thoughts in their head.

Easier said than done but don’t let it get to you. You do a tough but vital job under difficult circumstances. An impeccable appearance is not your priority at work and people like this are awful. Fortunately there are plenty of us who value and appreciate what you do.

I remember DH phoning me from the hospital, begging me to get him out of there, because he couldn't stand any more of his fellow patients being so rude to the nurses, who he said were kind and patient beyond belief. (And he really had been very ill.) Fortunately, he got out a few days later. I saw a bit of it when visiting him. It's only a certain percentage of them - but they certainly make their presence felt.

If I were you I would firmly respond to statements like this. Patients don’t have the right to make personal comments.

'Oh no, I'm sorry, let me send someone in who looks more professional' then leave.

Of course everyone else is also slammed, so if there's a wait, oh well.

The general public as a rule can be massive cunts and I no longer take it.

This is what i loved about wearing a mask during covid. The amount of times i said fuck off under my mask to rude customers was great. One of the benefits if mask wearing!!

Bloody hell, between this thread and the teachers one where someone's getting told if they can't accept physical and verbal abuse, they should have a drawer of treats to hand out if they are assaulted to the poor lamb, because its obviously the member of staffs fault, I'm surprised if we have any school/hospital staff soon!

Well, if he wants the nurses and doctors to devote their time to appearing ultra-neat and tidy- it's a point of view, I suppose. Of course, he and other patients would then have to wait twice as long to be seen!

Please try not to worry about rude idiots like him, who definitely couldn't do your job.

Next time just say ohh must get changed then-Ill be back in 10 minutes unless I’m called away on another emergency in that time. Lesson learnt without any rudeness. It’s also cathartic!

I remember as a junior doctor, sitting at the nurses station on the ward, writing in a patient’s notes on a Monday morning. I’d been on duty for 48 hours - hadn’t slept at all in that time and had barely eaten. I’d managed to grab a piece of toast and was quickly eating it while writing, before the ward round started.

The senior nurse manager (not a clinical role, more administrative) came on the ward and told me I shouldn’t be eating on the ward, that it was unprofessional. I snapped, told her it was fucking unprofessional that I’d worked for 48 hours without a break, but that no one seemed to give a shit about that.

It didn’t change anything but it made me feel better!

Don’t take crap from patients in A&E OP, unless obviously they’re confused and don’t know what they’re saying. Being frightened or unhappy about a long wait is one thing, but moaning because the staff don’t look perfect is ridiculous.

It would be so tempting to say: You are right. You don't mind waiting here for 30 mins do you so I can iron my dress and cool off outside so I can do up my top button and go and buy some new tights. Or perhaps you might prefer to appreciate that staff on long shifts with no breaks can end up looking a bit dishevelled because they are helping people like you all night long.

Oh no, absolutely not, that would be unacceptable. I had already said that in a previous post, I was just replying to the post that said that sometimes health professionals never apologise and are rude.

I didn't even complain but if I had I wouldn't dream about commenting about their appearance.

And why do people bring their entire families in when one person has hurt their foot??

Because mum doesn't drive so dad has to, the injured child wants his/her mum there, and the other kids can't be left home alone? Because one parent is injured, the other must drive, and the kids can't be left home alone? Because single parent family and the kids can't be left home alone?

Hospital staffing levels were a bit better back then so nurses could spend more time on looking smart.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia can't the driving parent in those circumstances drop the injured child and a parent and go home with the other children. It often seems like a scene from Bread with all the Bloody Boswells in attendance. It isn't necessary.

It's even worse when you can't get a seat because of the person with their entire family there is taking up more than their allocation.

I’m ND and I also know how to put myself in others’ shoes and show a bit of respect to others. Neurodiversity isn’t a personality type or a measure of IQ or indeed EQ. It’s a clumsy assumption you make and why should someone be let off the hook for this kind of misogyny?

I have dealt with some tricky patients over many years and I understand they are often in a difficult and stressful situation and are often frustrated by the system, but I still wouldn’t accept or absorb targeted personal comments because they are totally unacceptable and how I look is not relevant to my clinical skills.

This- was in ED with Baby and waiting next to us, child, mum,dad, older sibling then while waiting upturned child's grandfather, grandmother, auntie and cousin who'd seen the 'check in' on fb and thought they'd pop up to see them 🤯

No she isn't. It is that particular branch. Patients at other branches are nothing like as rude. She came back from working at another branch recently and said that everyone was so pleasant and polite, and said please and thank you.

Also, these patients are rude to everyone who works there.

It doesn't help that the GP practices local to her branch are really inefficient and patients turn up for prescriptions that haven't yet been sent through.

I had someone make a formal complaint about me, the gist of which was I looked 'scruffy'.

It was in the community, freezing cold, pissing with rain and I was very much dressed for practicality, not style.

Thankfully I had an awesome manager who said anything I wore was fine as long as it wasn't a top with swear words on it, and the patient should realise they were lucky to see me at all.

Chin up OP, unfortunately it's contact with the general public that spoils Healthcare. It's not being unwell or in pain, some people are just horrid in any circumstances.

Same, I got a complaint and I actually asked them if they were ok if I took my (thick) tunic off while I did personal care on a boiling hot day in summer while they had underfloor heating on full blast
It was either that or pass out, and I had a sleeveless top to put on instead

That's horrible, OP.

I'm sorry it upset you but please put it out of your mind - this person was an idiot with very strange priorities.

Not where I live. The pharmacy she works in has several other branches, and the patients and customers in the other branches are nothing like as rude, even the one near the drug rehab place where they have a huge number of blue script patients.

The pharmacists work in all the branches and they all say that the one where DD works has the worst patients.

I think the main issues are that Lloyds Pharmacy closed and they inherited all of their patients but the owners didn't increase the staff numbers, and the local GP practices are really inefficient, and prescriptions either take ages to come through or the doctors prescribe drugs that are out of stock in spite of being notified that they are unavailable by the pharmacy.

I won't say where it is because it would be pretty outing.

Thank you for what you do. Try practicing an eye roll or raised eyebrows " Really!" or "thank you for that!

Apart from nearly all nurses??