Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who drives?

234 replies

Vroomvroombeepbeep · 25/10/2023 11:37

Purely out of curiosity...

I was sat in the car with my DD at the services, watching the world go by, when she asked me: "Why is it always the man who drives?".

I looked, and she was right - every car with both men and women in it, a man was at the wheel! I didn't really know what to say to her...

So, when you're in a car with a member of the opposite sex, who's driving and why?

YABU - the woman
YANBU - the man

OP posts:
Chemenger · 25/10/2023 16:17

Another reason that DH usually drives if we are together is that I have zero sense of direction. If he has been somewhere once he can go directly there the next time. I will have absolutely no idea of the route. I can get lost two streets from home.

ImthatBoleyngirl · 25/10/2023 16:45

I do most of the driving because I enjoy it more than OH does.

LittleLegsKeepGoing · 25/10/2023 16:49

BobblePin · 25/10/2023 15:20

Men are generally better drivers for longer trips, so not surprised of this observation at motorway services. I think for the popping into town type trips women will drive!

Absolute rubbish!

I'll drive anywhere, no issue at all. My husband would get lost trying to get to the next city and isn't keen on motorways at all, I can't imagine he'd be able to navigate entire counties and motorway exchanges (like the switchover to get to Leicester if you're coming from the South West).

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 25/10/2023 16:54

Men are generally better drivers for longer trips, so not surprised of this observation at motorway services.

Hmm Are you kidding? Men have far more car accidents. That's only partly because they do more miles. It's also because they are statistically much more likely to engage in risky driving behaviour and to drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs. They are also more likely not to wear a seatbelt than women.

DappledThings · 25/10/2023 16:59

BobblePin · 25/10/2023 15:20

Men are generally better drivers for longer trips, so not surprised of this observation at motorway services. I think for the popping into town type trips women will drive!

What shite is this? There almost certainly are more men who insist on being rhe main driver. Doesn't make them the better one.

gotomomo · 25/10/2023 17:02

If I can persuade him, dp, I'm not keen on driving and hate driving his car. I do drive him sometimes and step up as needed

AuntyMabelandPippin · 25/10/2023 17:08

BobblePin · 25/10/2023 15:20

Men are generally better drivers for longer trips, so not surprised of this observation at motorway services. I think for the popping into town type trips women will drive!

What an absolute load of bollocks.

We share the driving.

greengreengrass25 · 25/10/2023 17:10

I never drive with dh in the car.

Fine on my own

Fifthtimelucky · 25/10/2023 17:12

I always drive when we are together. I enjoy it and am a better driver.

My husband very rarely drives and as he hasn't driven much for several years he has lost confidence and competence.

Strokethefurrywall · 25/10/2023 17:14

DH drives to places, I don't drink so I drive home.

But we also live on a tiny island so the only time we argue about driving is when we're off island and hire a top of the range car and argue over who gets to drive it!

SiobhanSharpe · 25/10/2023 17:15

We take it in turns. (Generally after having the 'who's driving home' argument discussion.)

backbritishfarming · 25/10/2023 17:22

Usually I do the driving, I'm really travel sick but driving I'm fine....also DH is always wanting to check what other farmers have going on in their fields and likes to comment on how good/bad their crops are so it's much safer with me behind the wheel!

qotsa · 25/10/2023 17:38

50/50 short journeys (under an hour). Long journeys, motorway driving etc I always do as I really enjoy that kind of driving and DH isn't fussed. Driving abroad DH always does as I don't like it.

LunaLoveFood · 25/10/2023 17:39

I drive as my car is the family car and dh had a smaller car.

vernatheraven · 25/10/2023 19:15

Depends whose car. He isn't insured on my work car.

Long distances he drives because he hates being a passenger and his car is a work car so he has a fuel card.

I'm not bothered as I get to read. He can't read etc when travelling as it makes him feel sick or so he says.

weegiemum · 25/10/2023 19:19

My dh does.

I'm medically unfit to drive due to a disability and had to hand my license in.

Luckily ds drives as well now and dd2 has a date for her test so I have other options when dh is working long hours.

vernatheraven · 25/10/2023 19:20

Sometimes he even gets me a can of Malibu and Coke or whatever for the journey Grin

Meggie2008 · 25/10/2023 19:24

I am an absolute passenger princess so he drives. We did a 16 day Europe road trip and we decided we'd split the driving. I drove for an hour and a half the full 16 days 😂😂

Zanatdy · 25/10/2023 19:25

It was always me in our relationship but often is the male. I like to have the wheel, my ex was fine with that

HedgehogOBrien · 25/10/2023 19:27

My DH drives because why keep a dog and bark yourself 😉

If it’s my dad, I’d drive because my dad’s driving is terrifying. Not sure about anyone else.

Alaimo · 25/10/2023 19:31

We share the driving. I do get nervous driving in unfamiliar cities and DH is terrible at navigation ("oh, uhm, let me see, there's a turn coming up at some point .... yes, we should have taken that one... sorry... is there somewhere you can turn the car around?") so if it involves driving around in a new city, he drives and I navigate. Otherwise, it's pretty 50/50.

And no, I don't know why we don't just use a satnav - habit I guess.

TheBunnyLover · 25/10/2023 19:32

I'm a lesbian in a butch/femme relationship (I'm the femme one) she always drives.

MrsHughesPinny · 25/10/2023 19:34

Depends whose car we take. If it’s mine, I drive. If it’s his, he drives.

Inkypot · 25/10/2023 19:35

It's generally me who drives cos I love my car and I've been driving the longest. Had my licence 25 years, hubby's had his about 12. I always jump in the driver seat without really thinking about it, and I love to drive.

HomeatRoseCottage · 25/10/2023 19:37

My husband drives because I am a passenger princess 😄

The main reason is I don’t like driving. I’m perfectly capable of it, and drive regularly (long commute three days a week, taking my son to activities etc on other days), but if I have the option to be the passenger I will always choose it. I would much rather be chilled out scrolling on my phone / drinking coffee / playing DJ than driving.

My husband claims to prefer driving to being driven but I suspect he’s just saying that because he wants me to be happy.

If the drive is long enough to warrant a stop en route then we split it, but even then he usually does more of the route than me.