DP says I'm selfish for having DD's birthday cake gluten free

[IntergalacticP]

Basically thread title.

DD turns one at the start of December. I've arranged for a local baker to make a cake for her. I asked for it to be gluten free as I have celiac disease.

DP said this was selfish. His reasoning being that gluten free cakes aren't as nice as normal cakes. He can't seem to come up with any other reason.

I just wanted to eat some of DDs first birthday cake.

I'm sorry but YABU! It's your DD's birthday cake not yours! Why should she have a horrible gluten free cake when she is not celiac herself????

Totally uncalled for. Reported

It's not his birthday it's the child's birthday. Try reading the OP again!

Again, it's the child's birthday not the DH's!

I’m not coeliac nor GF, but I think your DH is being unreasonable. I’m sure the other adults present can cope with a GF cake for one occasion, to allow the mum to have a slice. After all you actually have an autoimmune condition that means you can’t eat gluten.

GF doesn't necessarily mean horrible. It's the baby's birthday and she's unlikely to have any so cater for the people who will eat it - at least 2. There's a place near us that does amazing GF cakes, I'm not coeliac at all but will happily choose them as they are so good.

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t do this. My husband has recently been diagnosed coeliac at quite an old age and we’ve started buying GF products. I can really taste the difference with gluten free flour. It is very “short” like cornflour and leaves a sort of dry feeling in my mouth.
Just buy yourself a little GF cake and order regular for your daughter: it’s her birthday, not yours.

The first para is so inarticulate it’s hard to know what you’re trying to say.

The second para - it was your cake.

The baby is one! She/ he has no preference and is not going to have more than a couple of bites, stop pretending like it’s about that. It’s about a man expecting his wants to be met before his wife’s needs. If he wants an extra cake he can go and buy one .

@TinChristmas FFS you’re not a normal decent human being.

😂

I'm not coeliac but I've eaten plenty of gluten-free cakes in my time. I've had some terrible ones but I've also had some really good ones. In my experience, the bad ones are when people try to replicate a specific form of cake and replace the flour with something else, rather than simply making a cake that doesn't require flour in the first place. There are loads of flourless cakes made with ground almonds and so on that are absolutely delicious, chocolate ones in particular. They'll be richer and denser than a bog-standard light vanilla sponge, obviously, but there's no reason a birthday cake has to be a sponge cake. Your daughter is a baby so it's not like she's going to understand what a birthday cake is anyway. Your DH is being a twat.

You think a one year old baby should be eating an entire birthday cake?

blimey

Im coeliac (sic?) ... I buy everyone a non gf cake for their birthday which means i cant have any...if i didn't buy no one would get anything.Rarely anyone buys me a gf bday cake...im gonna buy my own on friday, my bday. The tesco chocolate gf cake is horrible though...it tastes stale and is dry. ... twice. I would have bought 2 cheaper cakes...gf and gluten rather than just 1 gf.

Why tell him? Just order it and eat it along with everyone else. He sounds an idiot!
I have a relative who is coeliac and buy entirely gf food for xmas so she can eat anything she wants. This was after she went to another relative one year in the early days of her diagnosis, they fed her gluten (because they "didnt understand what it means") and she spent the rest of xmas throwing up. I never tell anyone else the food is gf, and no-one has ever asked, they just all tuck in!
Also have a vegetarian and dairy free DILs now and found soya cream as an option for gf, dairy free, veggie trifle :)

I'm coeliac too, everyone has GF cake for birthdays or nothing at all. Selfish? Maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I'm not being excluded from family celebrations that everyone is a part of when there's a simple alternative. I'm also a baker and a good GF sponge is absolutely no different to a 'normal' sponge, people absolutely never can tell the difference. Also, your child may only be 1 but I can tell you that when they're older, they won't want you not to be involved, my 9 year old asks for gluten free everything even when he's baking at school (he's always very kindly turned down but it disappoints him every time.) It shouldn't even be a thing, if DH wants a normal cake, tell him to buy his own cupcakes. Honestly.

YANBU.

Good gluten free cake is indistinguishable from normal cake. We tasted some lovely cake at a wedding fayre and didn't realise it was gluten free until we were told afterwards... my best friend and maid of honour is coeliac, so we ended up getting our cake from them. It was delicious and no-one was left out.

You should definitely be able to eat your child's first birthday cake! Everyone's always saying on here that 1st birthday celebrations are more for the parents than the child, so of course the cake should be suitable for you!

Agree.

Some act as if every non gf cake is enjoyable and heaven forbid people have a bit of cake that is inclusive for a moment as if there likely won’t be any other food at the party. I would think at least the person who gave birth and is planning the whole thing should be able to have some cake nor does she even have to tell people the cake is gf. Who would actually know for sure if it was or not upon look and taste? I’ve had plenty of standard cakes where the texture was off, too dry, flavourless, too sweet, etc.

Their daughter is definitely not going to know the difference.

It’s a first birthday. If the child was older and had a preference, asked for a specific type, that would be different.

Not to blow my own trumpet but I have won the Victoria sandwich competition at our village spring show for the last four years. I have never told anyone it's gluten free, just used gluten free self raising flour for the recipe defined in the schedule. No one has ever known the difference.

Pastry and scones are a different matter though.

It's not martyrdom, it's not wanting to eat sub par food. Plus, if it's my child's birthday, they're the most important person in the room, not me, and I'm not so fussed about eating cake that I'm going to make them eat a GF one.

I'm also the only vegetarian in the house, should I force the other 6 people in the house to eat that way too?

She is a baby at the stage of wanting to share and put her hand in the OPs mouth. It’s more detrimental to stop her doing that than eating some GF cake FFS

This!

My daughter is coeliac. All our baking at home is GF. Most of us can’t tell the difference.

Bought GF bread is rank, I’ll give you that, but even supermarket GF cake isn’t too bad now.

A good, professional cake maker should be perfectly able to make good GF cake.

YANBU

GF flour is rubbish and you can’t just substitute it for a normal recipe. It’s just ground potato and rice. Bleurgh. But google some specific GF recipes that use polent or coconut or almond or sorghum and the recipe will have moisture content amended and you will be amazed at how beautiful they are and “normal”.

I’ll give you that it’s unreadable! Shouldn’t type one handed and not read back….
You said in response to the OP wanting to eat cake “This is so childish. What’s wrong with buying your own GF cake? Why are MNers so dependent on cake they can’t cope without it” which I was trying to explain is Lol funny as you’re saying she can’t go without cake and that’s stupid but then you’re also saying the other adults can’t go with out cake but that that isn’t stupid.

Doves gluten free flour is not rubbish. As above, I have won cake competitions using it and no one has been with the wiser.

It was perfectly readable, I've seen worse.