DP says I'm selfish for having DD's birthday cake gluten free

[IntergalacticP]

Basically thread title.

DD turns one at the start of December. I've arranged for a local baker to make a cake for her. I asked for it to be gluten free as I have celiac disease.

DP said this was selfish. His reasoning being that gluten free cakes aren't as nice as normal cakes. He can't seem to come up with any other reason.

I just wanted to eat some of DDs first birthday cake.

He is unreasonable, a birthday cake isn’t something you have to gorge yourself on, you don’t even have to eat a few mouthfuls symbolically. It’s for the candle, and the singing. Tell him he can have every other birthday cake in your dds lifetime, but this one is for you, when he grows a baby he gets to decide on its first birthday cake.

I'm absolutely with you, OP. All cakes made in my house are gluten-free (and as it happens dairy free too). That includes everyone's birthday cakes for sure.

Admittedly, the one exception I did make was both my children's 1st birthday cakes - but that was because I was also making them egg free (due to staggering the introduction of major allergens into their diets) - and I wasn't sure I could make them work with the flour mixes I had at the time. Was the right call, the eldest didn't tolerate egg much till she was at least 3 and couldn't eat boiled eggs let alone omelettes till much later.

I have been pretty happy with GF cakes for years, having learnt what works, but haven't tasted "normal" ones since my mid teens. My (now adult) children do assure me though that you often wouldn't know the difference.

YANBU.

Gluten free bread on the other hand is bawfing

YANBU

They really aren’t.

I'm sure the gf cake will look and taste great.
If DH is worried he can organise an alternative cake, or cupcakes... bet he isn't worried enough to do that though!
Enjoy your dds party and the cake!

Yanbu.

If he felt this strongly he could have sorted the cake. He didn’t and you did so you get to choose. Obviously when dc is bigger they get to choose but for now, knock yourself out.

I prefer gluten free cakes. They are always moist and not dried out and boring.

Supermarket premade cakes are almost always super processed with palm oil etc though no? Compare like with like. If I make a GF cake, I use scratch ingredients.

There's a legitimate issue with the replacement flours not automatically being healthier for you than wheat which is why it's not advisable for everyone to go GF like that craze a few years ago. Tapioca is pure starch for example.

I disagree that the GF flours automatically taste better than regular--rice flour is tricky in my opinion especially if you're not careful to buy the super finely ground. And of course some recipes are better than others. But it's very possible to make an excellent GF cake.

I make GF and conventional cakes for work and you can’t tell the difference.

If all your non-GF cakes have been dried out and boring you've been eating some very bad cake. Cake should not be dry unless the plan is to soak it in syrup.

Really, everything in baking is about the recipe and balancing the ingredients properly.

You have a DH problem. Why on earth does he think it OK that his child's mother who no doubt is going to do the majority of the birthday planning misses out on the best bit - the cake?!

Exactly @Mirackleeus why don't people get that?

Meanwhile their coffee walnut cake has less shit in it than the GF:

INGREDIENTS: Coffee Buttercream (28%) (Sugar, Butter (Cows' Milk), Salted Butter (Butter (Cows' Milk), Salt), Coffee (1%), Preservative: Potassium Sorbate), Fortified Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Calcium Carbonate, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin), Sugar, Pasteurised Egg, Rapeseed Oil, Humectant: Vegetable Glycerine; Walnuts (3%), Dried Glucose Syrup, Palm Oil, Raising Agents: Disodium Diphosphate, Potassium Bicarbonate; Coffee (0.5%), Emulsifier: Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids; Cornflour, Palm Stearin, Salt, Preservative: Potassium Sorbate

Unless you have very extreme gluten sensitivity (which of course you will now to claim to) then you’re the one being selfish.

He is so unreasonable as I also cannot have gluten or dairy and why should you get a cake you cannot eat. Enjoy the cake and you should not have said anything and he would not even notice especially since you are having it made. Buy him a separate bun and tell him there you go seeing as you do not want any cake, watch his face as he will want to eat the cake and it will kill him to say it is nice. Enjoy her birthday.

I'm sure they will be used to these requests and will make the cake taste delicious. My SIL is celiac she just doesn't eat bread. But she does some tasty homemade biscuits and cakes.

This is about more than a cake or a birthday. It’s also the anniversary of you either pushing out a baby or having major stomach surgery.

YOU should be allowed to choose the bloody cake.

I've eaten some amazing gluten free cakes in my time.
Anyone who thinks that gluten free cakes means 'it's grim', 'tasteless' or 'over processed' simply needs to find better cake.
YANBU OP.

I bet there wouldn't be a cake, or a birthday celebration at all, if it had been up to the arse of a DP to organise it, yet apparently you're the one who's selfish! What a turd of a man.

I'd buy yourself a gf cake and get a normal cake for your DC and DH. They should be allowed to enjoy normal cake. You can decorate both with candles. Two cakes for your DD to blow candles out from. I have an allergy to mushrooms but I don't say nobody else in our house can eat mushrooms. My DH is vegetarian but the rest of us still eat meat. Only you can't eat normal birthday cake so you shouldn't impose this on others. It's a cake for your DD first and foremost. When it's your birthday you get to choose your gf cake and your DH and DC can choose whether they want to eat some or not.

I detest gluten free self raising flour, it has a texture I find objectionable. However you bore the child, birthed the child, brought up the child and bought the cake. Surely you should be able to eat it? DH is a knob.

@caringcarer gluten free cakes are enjoyable. Stop eating rubbish cakes.
Your comparisons don't even stand up. Mushrooms are an ingredient not an entire dish.
Anyway I've reported your post due to your crappy ableist comments.

I use the Dove's GF bread flour for everything, including baking (adding raising agents where required). It has a much better texture than either their plain or SR. The plain and SR seem to powdery, yet often give a soft gritty texture in some recipes.

Gluten free cakes are very enjoyable, those saying differently have clearly not had a decent one .

Although to be honest, I think the DH is outrageous for saying you are selfish, whoever is going to the effort of buying the cake chooses it, why should the OP go to effort to buy a cake she can’t eat, especially for a one year old, who lets be honest has no preference! If he doesn’t like it he is welcome to get if his bum and get one he does like.