Page 35 | Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

paintityellow · 2023-10-23T14:03:19+00:00

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year. Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year. AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

Panaa · 23/10/2023 23:37

@Astonymission

I don’t remember any of my friends with parents working on Christmas Day having a lasting or even momentary trauma from it. They worked around it, had dinner late or did a big breakfast before their parents left.

Exactly...if a parent isn't there the child will be likely to be absolutely fine, it will be the parent who is sad....so saying it's for the children isn't really true.

And it's really only the morning that's about kids.....many parents who have to work on Christmas day can still be there for Santa etc

givemeasunnyday · 23/10/2023 23:40

Honeychickpea · 23/10/2023 22:22

You view treating employees differently based on their use or non use of their uterus as normal?

I am sure an employment tribunal will rule differently.

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These posters who squeal about time off with their precious DC would be the first to squeal if their employers declined their application for a job because they had children! They pick and choose "fair" to suit themselves.

givemeasunnyday · 23/10/2023 23:45

LuluBlakey1 · 23/10/2023 22:37

I don't agree at all. It's 2 days. You don't need half the things you mention.

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I agree @LuluBlakey1 I'm not in the UK and there are strict rules here about who can open on a few certain days of the year, Christmas Day being one of those. People have become so selfish, expecting others to go to work so they can have what they want on their days off.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/10/2023 23:52

LoveTheDetectorists · 23/10/2023 20:36

Hi.
Press on the three dots on the top right hand side of someone’s post.
Then you will be able to comment on their post.

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Thank you! New [childless] crone member here. Much obliged for the 'how to quote' info.

Heartofglass12345 · 23/10/2023 23:52

I had this in a nursing home I worked in before I had kids, it was so annoying. There were only 2 nurses that were full time one year and I worked Christmas Eve, Boxing Day and the day after, 12 hour shifts while the other full timer worked one shift in those days because she had kids. I don't miss it!

WearyAuldWumman · 24/10/2023 00:00

Brefugee · 23/10/2023 20:37

don't be so daft. It may be my last Christmas with my mum. So your kids can suck it up for a year.

Turn and turn about is the fairest way, as a lot of companies are realising.

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I agree.

8 years ago, I still had a mother and a husband. Now I have neither. You never know when you're going to lose someone dear to you.

I'm not childless by choice. The Christmas hols weren't a problem for me. I chose to stay in teaching precisely because I wanted to have family.

Ironically, I had three miscarriages: one (very early on) after being punched in the stomach by a 15 yr old pupil.

There were many times when staff with children took precedence over those of us without. If you had children, you were entitled to a certain amount of flexibility by law. This was not the case for those of us who were simply carers.

Those who insist on the rights of those with young children to have precedence may some day be in for a nasty shock.

Thriving30 · 24/10/2023 00:07

I don't think it's just people with kids. It's all people that think they should take priority which frustrates me. One of my colleagues goes abroad for Christmas each year and requests 3 weeks off at a time over the full Christmas and New year period and has successfully been granted it for the past 5 years. As others have pointed out here, everyone's family is important to them, and Christmas is important to most people regardless of what they choose to do with the day.

WearyAuldWumman · 24/10/2023 00:10

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:32

My great grandmother died during covid so maybe I’m bitter but I focus more on what is important to me now

My husband died during Covid. I'm now completely only my own, so I can understand why childless people who still have family need to be able to see their family during Christmas while they can.

That's why those who have to work over Christmas should have a system set up whereby it's not the same people who are covering all the time.

LaurieStrode · 24/10/2023 00:17

givemeasunnyday · 23/10/2023 23:40

These posters who squeal about time off with their precious DC would be the first to squeal if their employers declined their application for a job because they had children! They pick and choose "fair" to suit themselves.

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Great point.

As usual with parents it's "heads I win, tails you lose."

WearyAuldWumman · 24/10/2023 00:18

JulianFawcettMP · 23/10/2023 22:00

Ok so you think a parent deserves a decade of advantage. Why? A lot can happen in a decade to anyone including those of use who don't have children.

Also how many two year olds do you know just fully understand the concept of Christmas let alone the bloody calendar. I think 2-3 maybe even 4 are optimum ages for delaying a day.

This year will be the last Christmas for a close relative in their 30s. Why do your children trump that? Please explain in full as my relative will be dead next year. Your children will be a year older. I want to understand

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It could also be more than a decade, depending on the number of children.

I had a colleague who was allowed certain advantages because - and I'm quoting my boss - "She has 4 children." Those of us who were carers were not given the same consideration.

I'm sorry about your relative, JulianFawcettMP. I agree with you.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 24/10/2023 00:25

@beachcitygirl so sorry for your loss..💐

JulianFawcettMP · 24/10/2023 00:35

Thank you @WearyAuldWumman I appreciate
that.

It would be less galling if people like @Sheerdetermination were able to provide a cogent argument

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 24/10/2023 00:36

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Absolutely. It's obvious that parents of small children should be a priority for annual leave at Christmas, to anybody with a heart or any empathy. I have no skin in this game having never had a job where I or any colleague has had to work at Christmas. But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them? Adults surely can cope with celebrating a day beforehand/ afterwards instead and while not ideal that's not comparable to the impact on a small child of not having their parents there with them.

Fionaville · 24/10/2023 00:40

YANBU however if it was me, with young kids, I would ask and try my best not to work it. I like to think if I didn't have young kids and colleagues did, that I would offer to work. But I wouldn't judge anybody who didn't have kids, for not offering.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 24/10/2023 00:40

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 24/10/2023 00:36

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Absolutely. It's obvious that parents of small children should be a priority for annual leave at Christmas, to anybody with a heart or any empathy. I have no skin in this game having never had a job where I or any colleague has had to work at Christmas. But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them? Adults surely can cope with celebrating a day beforehand/ afterwards instead and while not ideal that's not comparable to the impact on a small child of not having their parents there with them.

It’s not having one parent in the house for some of Christmas Day, they’re not being sent off to war. Good lord, the hysteria.

JulianFawcettMP · 24/10/2023 00:41

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 24/10/2023 00:36

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Absolutely. It's obvious that parents of small children should be a priority for annual leave at Christmas, to anybody with a heart or any empathy. I have no skin in this game having never had a job where I or any colleague has had to work at Christmas. But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them? Adults surely can cope with celebrating a day beforehand/ afterwards instead and while not ideal that's not comparable to the impact on a small child of not having their parents there with them.

And what about people who couldn't have kids. Not through choice. Do they not matter the infertile losers?

notlucreziaborgia · 24/10/2023 00:41

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 24/10/2023 00:36

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Absolutely. It's obvious that parents of small children should be a priority for annual leave at Christmas, to anybody with a heart or any empathy. I have no skin in this game having never had a job where I or any colleague has had to work at Christmas. But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them? Adults surely can cope with celebrating a day beforehand/ afterwards instead and while not ideal that's not comparable to the impact on a small child of not having their parents there with them.

Presumably that person would be their parent, who chooses to work a job that requires them to work Christmas shifts.

No, thankfully adults are not required to suck it up because you think they should prioritise their colleagues kids over themselves and their own families.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 24/10/2023 00:44

This hysteria in this thread has absolutely steeled my resolve to dig my heels in and get this Xmas off, for the first time in 8 years. Unworthy barren husk that I may be.

LaurieStrode · 24/10/2023 00:47

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 24/10/2023 00:36

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Absolutely. It's obvious that parents of small children should be a priority for annual leave at Christmas, to anybody with a heart or any empathy. I have no skin in this game having never had a job where I or any colleague has had to work at Christmas. But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them? Adults surely can cope with celebrating a day beforehand/ afterwards instead and while not ideal that's not comparable to the impact on a small child of not having their parents there with them.

What hogwash.

If the parent feels that its six-year-old having a "magical day" is so important, they can find a job where working Christmas isn't a risk. Not inconvenience others and request special treatment.

To be perfectly honest, I really couldn't care less what a co-worker's six-year-old wants. The co-worker can either adopt a tradition that involves Santa coming on Christmas Eve, or let the other parent supervise present-opening, or trick the kid into thinking Boxing Day is Christmas Day, or otherwise find a day to cope. Expecting others to sacrifice their preferred celebrations to accommodate one's kid is just beyond the pale.

Panaa · 24/10/2023 00:58

IBlinkThereforeIAm · 24/10/2023 00:36

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Absolutely. It's obvious that parents of small children should be a priority for annual leave at Christmas, to anybody with a heart or any empathy. I have no skin in this game having never had a job where I or any colleague has had to work at Christmas. But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them? Adults surely can cope with celebrating a day beforehand/ afterwards instead and while not ideal that's not comparable to the impact on a small child of not having their parents there with them.

What's with all of this "to anybody with a heart or any empathy" crap?

You're the one who is lacking empathy if you can only see it from one group of peoples point of view and can't see it from others point of view.

I mean you asked "what sort of a person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas day.....?".
The answer to that is lots of people, lots of nice, kind, normal everyday regular people do....and if you had a decent ability to empathise yourself then you would know that.

The kids will generally be fine and not deprived, it's the parents who will be sad, so you're pitting one group of adults against another and saying one group deserves it more and using highly emotive language to make the other group of equally deserving adults sound like they're doing something awful to children when they're not.

"What kind of a person" pulls this manipulative crap?

If you think that adults should celebrate a day before or after then why can't parents of young kids do that on the years they need to?

givemeasunnyday · 24/10/2023 01:01

fitzwilliamdarcy · 24/10/2023 00:44

This hysteria in this thread has absolutely steeled my resolve to dig my heels in and get this Xmas off, for the first time in 8 years. Unworthy barren husk that I may be.

Go you!!

MachinesOfGod · 24/10/2023 01:01

YANBU, the consequences of other peoples unprotected sex aren’t my problem, especially on Xmas day, which I’ve got the day off for this year.

orangecandles · 24/10/2023 01:13

This thread is really something else.

Everyone has a right to want to spend Christmas however they want too if they can. I have 3 dc aged from 14 -5.

Because I have a 5 year old, I don't see myself as deserving to be with my family at Christmas more than anyone else should. If I had to work on Christmas Day then I would. Why should I be more important just because I have children?

What about the families who have a member with a life limiting illness? They know it could well be or is their last Christmas together. Doesn't bare thinking about.

What about those who have really elderly relatives? The ones you have spent every Christmas with. Why should they miss those last precious memories? We always made such a big deal of Christmas when my grandparents became really frail. We knew we were at the end of Christmas as we knew it. Those memories are just as important to me as the ones I have with my children.

What about those who are completely alone and want to go to a homeless shelter on Christmas Day and volunteer?

Those families that love each other dearly but just don't get the chance to spend time together other than big events like Christmas. Because work gets in the way! Always working - no time for family/friends. Why should work still get in the way for those that miss their loved ones at Christmas?

I don't think there's many of us who don't deserve to have a Christmas no matter what the circumstances. It's not all about the children. I love my dc but Christmas is not all about them. I feel for anyone who misses out regardless of their circumstances

Newsername1 · 24/10/2023 03:14

Can’t believe this thread had raged on for 35 pages (and counting) given the overwhelmingly one-sided poll.

nearlywinteragain · 24/10/2023 03:30

I can't see the poll, what does it say?