Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

FYI punctuation is not chargeable on MN. 😂

It is not about “adults being more excited”. it’s is affording everyone time to spend with their families or friends when they gather at a time where most people do this.

I am hoping to raise my young children to not be materialistic and selfish. This includes recognising that families come in all shapes and sizes but they are valid and important. My child’s “excitement” on one day does not trump my colleagues’ rights to fair time off work at any time of the year.

I can't see the poll, what does it say?

94% YANBU
6% YABU

If I was an adult posting some of the utter nonsense I’ve see on here, my parents would be ashamed. They raised me better than that. It is spiteful to see supposed adults stinky their feet because their precious babies deserve the magic of Santa at the expense of their colleagues without children.

Likewise, I would be mortified if my children grew up to be like some people on here. I would also worry that they’re not very bright. The number of children who grow up in single parent homes is huge. Many children easily accept adaptable Christmas days. It’s sad that some of the parents on this thread lack imagination and common sense. 😢

I hope you have the Christmas you planned and you totally deserve to be happy, rested and peaceful.

This pisses me off. I work in care so everyone knows you're going to have to work Christmas. The only 2 I've ever had off have been when I've had maternity leave. It's the job, you suck it up and do Christmas a different day.

However year after year it seems to be everyone who doesn't want to work the holidays not just those with children. Last year I did Christmas eve, day, boxing day, NYE and NY day. I have small children and so did everyone else on the shifts. In fact 3 people have had 3 years in a row off as they have grandchildren. I've already had one staff member say she can't do Christmas or boxing day. She will have to do something or leave because it's in our contracts.

Imagine if everyone said that?! "Oh sorry but no one will have any personal care or have a Christmas dinner because the staff cba to work". We do 12hr shifts (no extra pay even on Christmas day) but we've sought approval from head office to split the day into 4hr stints so it's fair for everyone. That way everyone will work a little rather than a few people working all day/night.

But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them?

Someone who knows how serious her uncle's lymphoma is and will make a 400 mile round trip to see him because this is likely to be his last Christmas.

Your kid can rip wrapping paper off toys on Boxing Day and will almost certainly be alive next year to rip paper off toys again. I'm unlikely get another midnight mass with DU again (I'm atheist but the midnight mass is special in our family regardless of faith or lack therein, and also only happens on Xmas Eve).

Please stand your ground. Do not give in. Some parents here are making me cringe so much. Do not work that day.

Honestly, the big deal made by some is so OTT. If you can’t give your kid a good Xmas and be creative around your hours, that’s on you. My kids never suffered and have fond memories, despite my having to work in the hospital some xmases.

Do. Not. Give. In. Have a great Xmas!!

Interesting how the wining “Christmas for kids” brigade don’t seem to echo the pole.

So I suspect many of them are on here just to deliberately create conflict as is typical of AIBU.

That said, for any of the people who genuinely think that Christmas is all about children and everything should give way for those who chose to have them, you’d better hope you never end up splitting from your partner meaning your children only get every other Christmas with you.
Where I work Christmas Day and Boxing Day are offered as overtime at triple pay. As soon as the overtime is released you have to get in there quickly to avoid the crush to get there first. 😀.

But anyone who thinks that Christmas is just about Santa not only lacks imagination but is pretty shallow.

Christmas is in fact a religious celebration, so technically it could be argued that practicing Christians should take precedence. Except that Christmas has been highjacked by capitalism and materialism.

There was always a winter festival in late December @MayThe4th . The Christians just hijacked it. You’d have a point if we were talking about Easter.

I’m sorry to hear that @VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia .
A friend is a nurse so has often worked Christmas Eve night or Christmas Day. Her DC haven’t suffered in the slightest.

That’s beside the point. Christmas is now seen as a Christian holiday.

I’m an atheist so I don’t care any more for that side of things than the Santa worshippers.

But you could just as easily argue that Christians should take precedence as you could that children should.

And I’m pretty sure that the Christians highjacked it before the capitalists came along.

Fact is that Christmas has individual meaning for everyone and no person’s meaning of Christmas is more important than anyone else’s.

Someone isn’t more entitled to have Christmas off because they chose to have children, than someone who chose to live abroad. Everyone’s reasons are equal, which is why workplaces who have Christmas working need to display that equity in allowing everyone to have a chance at the Christmas they want at some point.

If people feel that having Christmas off with their kids is so important that they should have every Christmas off work, then they need to change jobs to one without Christmas working.

As for the poster where colleagues have gone to HR because she is having Christmas off for the first time in years, I absolutely would not back down. And if HR so much as dared suggest that I was in the wrong I would be seeing the union pretty damn sharpish.

Easter were Spring featival😂 Also hijacked

GTFO with that entitlement.

If someone CHOOSES to work a job that requires Christmas working, they HAVE to take their turn. Simple as that.

No one else CHOSE to have your kids did they? They were your choice. Not your colleagues. Therefore it’s not your colleagues responsibility to ensure you have childcare or make your kids Christmas magical.

If it’s that big a deal to you, get a job that doesn’t require Christmas working. There’s plenty of them.

If it’s not, suck it up and take your turn.

@Normalsizedsalad I know but isn’t the whole resurrection thing supposed to be really important to Christians?

Ah yeah. True

I would work and do my best to avoid having to have time with irritating people over Christmas

I am gobsmacked at the comments implying childless/free adults have no business enjoying Christmas or getting excited about it. Some people really do view us as less than fully human.

on here at least @KimberleyClark - overly precious

I am very much on team "parents and non-parents both deserve the time", (though nowhere near enough support goes into childcare for working parents - but that's a separate issue).

I have some sympathy with some of the arguments to the contrary as there is a definite vogue for "kids are simply a parent choice, and my 'adult' needs are always equal to their" - like, children are emotionally more vulnerable, require parental presence for attachment etc.. Just because you choose not to have them doesn't mean that they aren't, objectively, vulnerable and innocent creatures, and I think our actions as a society should always reflect that (and the same goes for the elderly), but that's just a little note to offer those who are parents should have priority a BOTD. I am in camp "a fair share of rubbish hours" (though I think childcare difficulties are rubbish, and as a society we should generally aim to support others through the rubbish times, just as we would in, the above examples, an adult wants a precious Christmas with an elderly relative) * *

Why can't the child spend Christmas with dad if mum has to work? I don't think that will scar them emotionally. Or even grandparents?

If the child literally has no other family other than the single parent I can see your point, but I don't think leaving the child with dad or grandparents for Christmas Day is going to be too traumatising.

The trouble is, it's not just Christmas. It's every bank holiday, half the late shifts they are asked to do, other school holidays. 35 years ago I worked in a nursing home, and whilst we did swap shifts for things, it was always reciprocated somewhere, nobody took the piss and you could say, 'no, sorry, I have other plans'.
These days there seems to be an awful lot of people signing contracts with clearly stated leave policies and shifts who have no intention of doing those hours.
I am not sure quite when work became something you do at your convenience and not your employer's. It isn't just parents, but it's parents who seem to get away with dictating their own hours from the get-go.
The annual leave situation is particularly annoying when it is first come first served. Parents, it isn't like you don't know well in advance the dates of the school holidays. Why would you be exempt from having to be organised and book early? More and more people I know of my sort of age working in companies with this system report that parents of young children are the prime culprits for requesting annual leave at the last minute and kicking up a stink because they can't go. If somebody else went to the trouble of booking their annual leave properly in advance, it usually means they have plans and did what you should have done.
The sad thing is, a lot of employers side with parents because they are under pressure to be more accommodating. But the work still needs doing, and what happens is, employees without children are pressured into changing plans, because increasingly it seems to be everybody else's responsibility to ensure parents have time with their kids, when sometimes all they needed to do was put in their leave form on time, like everyone else has to.
I am not saying there shouldn't be accommodations made by management, but I think one of this reasons this gets people riled is the odd belief some parents have that working practices which apply to others don't apply to them and if anyone dares ask them to do the hours they agreed to in the first place, it's selfish.

I am all for support and care for families and children at a societal level, and vote for parties with policies which do the same.

What I won’t do, though, is take over the shortfall of caring by individual parents who have children AND choose jobs which require Christmas working, and then expect me to be the one who sacrifices my enjoyment of a holiday when they have made choices which mean they can’t have their preferred Christmas. I am not responsible for their child. They are.

Children need unconditional love. Parents that make them feel loved and special. They don’t need to have every single Christmas Day with their mother by their side all day. Decent parents work round this and create a ‘magical’ day/Xmas period nonetheless.

I think some of the attitudes here are really quite immature and narrow-minded.

I remember once seeing someone say, ‘how can anyone send their child to nursery on Xmas eve. It’s so cruel’. I rolled my eyes a lot at that.

I used to work at a major Australian museum. Only days we closed were Christmas Day and Good Friday - and we'd still get people coming in outraged that we wouldn't be open for them to bring their kids in (ie. let them run around completely unsupervised and break exhibits). Apparently the charm of the wondrous, magical Christmas Day at home didn't last very long.

When I was nursing I don't remember any major issues and the rota always worked out - maybe I just worked with a decent bunch of people!

In the main, over the years, the younger child-free staff preferred to work Xmas Day as it meant they had New Year's Day off and so could party late.