Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

some people are religious and like to have Easter off.

Some people prefer to go on holiday during summer as that’s when the best weather is and in some destinations, it’s when they’re busier and there’s more touristy things open as during peak season.

Some have partners/family/friends that are teachers/work at a school/college/university and can only take that time off so they require it to match in.

Some of us actually like our nieces and nephews so provide childcare because their parents have worked out they don't have enough holiday left, the friends who normally help out are abroad, and there is no holiday scheme nearby.

There appears to be a significant portion of the 'mother' community who believe that their choice to have children should be facilitated by the childless population. Imho It is ultimately their choice to have children so it is ultimately their problem to sort out. In my experience there is certainly no quid pro quo when it comes to any reciprocal flexibility. They forget that we already facilitate when they are on carers leave, sick leave and maternity leave. I've worked as a nurse and I've picked up the slack each and every time someone is off because their child is sick or gone over and above when a pregnant colleague is exhausted, there certainly hasn't been any bank or agency fill ins. God forbid I put in a request for time off.over christmas though.

I call it the "heads I win, tails you lose" attitude. It's so prevalent and obnoxious.

This is spot on.

But what sort of person would deprive a small child of having their parent around on Christmas Day if it's avoidable and they can swap with them

Absolutely disgusting that yet again child free colleugues who didnt even choose to have the child are getting a harder time than the absent deadbeat dads are.
I will ask again , why does the random childfree co worker owe the child more than the childs OWN FATHER.
oh and if childfree co workers are to be responsible for YOUR kids perhaps they could get some say in whether you should get pregnant or not if you ever mention at work that you are trying for a kid OR have say in whether you carry on with a pregnancy or not.

To clarify im pro choice. But choices shouldnt detrimentally affect others.

@CleverLilViper I never mentioned Easter?

I recall being at work (as a teacher) and having to use my non-contact time to cover for a colleague who was on mat leave.

She'd actually given birth during the summer holidays, but the rules meant that she'd 'lost' her holiday because of mat leave, so she was entitled to a week off during term time.

She and had her family had a week abroad, while I ran about like a blue-tailed fly organising all her classes (though she had left work) and covering many myself. I had suffered an early miscarriage during the holidays.

I don't blame my colleague - she was making use of her rights - but it did smart a bit.

A few years later, the same happened with a male colleague who had a week off in Tenerife with his family to make up for the paternity leave he'd lost during the summer holidays.

By contrast, I was signed off for 5 weeks (including two weeks of the hols) for a planned operation which meant that I had to be off my feet. I'd previously had a total of 5 days' absence over a period of about 30 yrs.

My consultant scheduled the op for after the exams (when the leavers would have gone) so as not to disrupt the school - so only the last 3 weeks of term to cover and I left work for all my classes. I also booked my my mum into a care home for the duration because I couldn't manage the moving and handling.

Got back to work, still recovering, wounds not fully healed.

My HT sent me to Attendance Management.

The woman who interviewed me pulled out my file, extracted the single sheet of paper and read it. Looked at me: "Why are you here?"

I burst into tears.

It also often comes on top of the numerous accommodations that have to be made for parents in the workplace that often result in those without children or those with grown children picking up the slack with little to no thanks or even acknowledgement.

We can all understand a desire to be with family over Christmas but your desire to be with family doesn’t trump someone else’s desire to do the same thing or have the Christmas that they want.

It’s a really simple thing. If you absolutely don’t want to work Christmas, don’t pick a job that requires it. Stop picking jobs that require it and then trying to opt out of your contractual hours by dumping them on other people by weaponising your kids.

Stop thinking you’re special just because you did something billions of others have done before you and will do after you.

OH FFS. It’s irrelevant.

You mentioned time off during half term and end of term.

Just admit you were shown your arse and move on.

Right.

They've already been accommodated for mat leave, child sickness and god knows what else. And still have the gall to want the best holidays. All due to their personal lifestyle choices.

This is exactly what I was going to post.

All the posters saying YANBU need to realise it's not the colleague without young children vs the colleague with young children - it's the adult without small children vs small children.

It's odd that people haven't worked this out.

Of course small kids should have their parents with them on Christmas Day.

It's not about the adults though is it?! It's about the children who should have their parents with them on Christmas Day.

Maybe their parents should have thought of that before accepting a job which requires them to work over Christmas.

GTFOH with that entitlement.

I’m sure people have worked it out, they still aren’t obliged to put their own wants behind those of some random kids.

Why?

Christmas isn’t only about kids. Many celebrate it with their families and loved ones. Many celebrate for religious reasons. Some have elderly relatives and don’t know when or if this is to be their last Christmas together.

But oh no won’t someone think of the children! No, I won’t. That’s their parents job and since their parent chose to work a job that requires Christmas working- make the assumption they DGAF.

ALL children deserve for Christmas to be magical. That includes having their mummy and daddy at home with them.

I love how you sarcastically say 'precious offspring' as if it's ridiculous that parents think their children are precious.

You get that it's normal to think small children are precious right? Even if they aren't your own...

There’s no ‘should’ about it when their parent/s have chosen jobs that require them to work Christmas Day. Their colleagues do not owe them, or their children, Christmas Day off. A colleague’s children are not the most important consideration for anyone but their parents.

If parents want that, then it’s up to them to find a job that doesn’t need them to work over Christmas.

@Holly60

Lets say you work on a team and every single member of that team has small children. What then?

There’s no childless or childfree people to take advantage of, so what would you do?

ALL children deserve for Christmas to be magical. That includes having their mummy and daddy at home with them.

What if their mummy and daddy aren’t together any more?

What no one seems to have answered is why they find it perfectly ok for someone without children to have to potentially spend 50 Christmases not seeing family, if small children always take priority.

i think the main counterpoint is that nobody is saying children don’t deserve to have a lovely Christmas, it’s just that childfree people shouldn’t have to sacrifice their Christmas because of it. My mum sometimes worked Christmas Day so we would ‘do’ Christmas on Boxing Day or Xmas Eve and it was still lovely! Why should someone without kids have to work every Christmas Day while their colleagues’ children are small?

ALL children deserve for Christmas to be magical. That includes having their mummy and daddy at home with them.

What a shame their dreadful mummy and daddy chose jobs that involve working on Christmas, then.

From what I have seen, the posters talking of not doing it on principle are people who have done the past 7 or 8 years. They are saying that, just for once, when it isn't their turn, they aren't going to agree to cover because of somebody else's child. And I think that's fair enough.

OP also chose the same job ...

Moronic take.

It's about the employees. The kids are not employees.