Husband annoyed when baby boy plays with 'girls' stuff

[yorkmaam]

My baby boy is 18 months and I have an older DD, 4.

DS really enjoys playing with the pram and with dolls and sometimes puts DD's bag over his shoulder or tries on her necklace.

My H is getting increasingly frustrated by this and I'm getting increasingly frustrated by H getting annoyed that my son is just doing normal stuff and playing.

Does anyone else have this problem with their H ? Most recently my mum has taken to it as well when she visits, she is ' concerned ' and keeps taking away the baby dolls and pram from my son. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.

Did anyone else face this kind of issue and how did you make your H and relatives understand that your son can play however and with whatever he likes ?!?

Grrrrr this makes me so angry!!! Toys are toys and any child can play with them as they wish.

I also think it’s quite typical that the younger sibling plays with the older siblings toys regardless of whether they’re “boy” or “girl” toys.

The only things i ever gently discussed with DS was him pretending to have a baby in his tummy (doll up his jumper) and pretending to bf a doll. I calmly said yes its fun to pretend but only mummies can have the baby in their tummy and bf it. It coincided with him asking when he'd grow boobs and i felt it was best to be honest that as a boy, he won't.

How ridiculous. Toys are just toys. He hasn't experienced social conditioning yet, though thanks to dh and dm he will sooner than he needs to. Hope he grows up and is gay, what will dh reaction be then 🙄

Let him play with whatever he likes. I loved playing with my brothers Hotwheels and we used to play cricket and football in the garden, and dig large holes . I can't remember any adult thinking it was weird.

He'll say it was my fault, that's for sure. Because I let him play with the pram and wear a necklace. 🤦‍♀️

And how do you think that will affect your son, if he is gay? To have a father who thinks it's such a bad thing he needs to blame someone for it?

Allowing your son to grow up around that shouldn't be an option.

What a horrible husband you've chosen!

Paint his finger nails!...somehow your dh has no idea role playing is really good.

Christ, I could not bloody stand to be around such an insecure little man with such a tiny little brain.

And tell his stupid mother to butt out.

I'd suggest your husband needs to work on his insecurities about his own masculinity. That's such a massive ick, I genuinely couldn't find him attractive after behaving like that about TOYS.

I couldn't be married to a man like this. He's pathetic.

Yes, a gargantuan ick.

Did you always know he was a knuckle dragging misogynist @yorkmaam ?

for me this signals a much more deep routed issue on how he views women. Girls are the only ones that can play with buggies and babies and I’m guessing my his theory your son can’t have a toy kitchen either? because it’s a “woman’s role” or a “girls toy”.

my son had a buggy and a baby that he used to push around everywhere. Guess what’s happened to him now? He’s an excellent role model to his toddler sister and is able to assist in “fatherly duties” for lack of a better term, because it’s a life role he’s role played. Even now he pushes his sister in the buggy (he’s 7) and is your typical boy who’s into football and boxing and has his first girlfriend.

but he’s incredibly considerate of people who care for babies and always wants to help.

I can understand a dad having some worries but this shouldn’t be it. It’s a life skill.

Absolutely absurd. As others have said, playing with babies is not just for 'future mums' It's good for future dads, uncles, doctors, nurses etc.
We had a playroom filled with toys marketed to boys and girls. Dolls, cars, hoovers, shop, kitchen, tool bench, the lot! But kids don't care who it's marketed for, they just want to play with them all! My daughters little boy friends often used to get dressed up in her Princess dresses when they were pre schoolers, they loved it, especially the long red Ariel wig 😅 Pre school age, anything goes! It's just play.

Are you okay being married to a man who doesn’t even grasp that sexual attraction isn’t induced by the toys one play with?

I would tell him if being exposed to a pram is likely to make your son gay then surely you are one minute away from leaving him & being a lesbian yourself for being continuously exposed & subjected to the extremely off-putting sexism and homophobia of a prick like him?

My little boy is almost 17 months and loves his doll, a pram, brushing my hair and playing in the toy kitchen (we’re getting him his own for Christmas). He also loves climbing, cars, getting messy and balls - his new favourite word is ‘football’. He just likes playing!

It’d be heart breaking if anybody that was supposed to love him looked disgusted at him for playing with any of those things! You need to make it really clear to them it’s not ok before he picks up on it.

17 years ago DH's friend visited with his DS, same age as DS (2). He scoffed at the play pram & baby boy doll our DS was playing with. Both children had just had new siblings, and we'd bought these items months previousiy to involve DS in the whole 'You're a big brother' time. He loved them.

DH got stuck in chastising his friend for stupid comments in front of the kids. There was then squabbling betwen the children (outside with me) - I loved pointing out that they were squabbling over the pram!!!

Sadly, it was short-lived, & their DS ( now 19) is a typical alpha-male (like his father) & DS tells me an Insta full of football bias/ misogyny/ fast cars & girls with inflated lips & boobs out. Sigh...

Your husband sounds like a total wally. Your poor son who will no doubt have your husband's masculine prejudices imposed on him.

Tell them not to worry girl isn't a disease your son can catch. Playing with toys targeted at girls does not mean your son will want to be a girl. I suspect its rooted in homophobia to be honest, thinking effeminate behaviour could be a sign of being gay? Nothing wrong with being gay but playing with dolls doesnt have any influence on sexuality im sure! They are being incredibly old fashioned.

I always eye-roll at how quickly on MN people tell the OP to LTB, but honestly, I couldn't be with someone like this.

Please don't let your neanderthal of a husband make your son feel inferior or embarrassed about any aspect of his personality, including what toys he likes playing with.

I have boy girl twins - being raised as a single parent with an older female sibling. Have to say it's been a hugely interesting study (if you can call raising children that!) in nature vs nurture and gender stereotyping. My boy twin naturally chooses cars and trains and traditionally "boy" toys and my girl twin is alllll pink 😂 that being said my boy twin was wandering around with baby Anabelle strapped to him as his twin said it was his turn to look after the baby 😂.

I'd say to them both boys become dad's they cook, clean and care for their children he's practicing skills for the future. We don't live in the 50s

YANBU