To be upset about what happened this weekend

[Onthedownlow9]

I was staying over at a new partners house over the weekend. I know he’s really good mates with the man who lives next door to him. After we had sex I saw he was laughing and smirking whilst reading his text messages and he did end up showing me them but I feel disgusted. Basically his neighbour was saying he heard our ‘session’ and sent messages such as ‘go on😈’ and some other weird things. I feel like a piece of meat and don’t appreciate that they were discussing it over text? Aibu? Do I need to lighten up?

Hmm that does change things a bit from your op. The fact he got silly over it is very immature. I could have handled a smirk and an eye roll because really, how else do you deal with embarrassment like that? Going in all guns blazing just makes it into a bigger deal. It's far better to laugh it off and forget about it.

However back and forth texting about it and giggling like a school boy just makes it sound like he enjoyed the attention and feels all macho because his neighbour heard him getting laid. Which is pathetic, you're right.

I would definitely be having a chat about how it made me feel and his reaction will be very telling.

I'd be thinking that listening in was planned from that response. I am feeling very jaded today.

That reply changes things then. Sending back" Round 2 later" is grim and disrespectful. 🤢

The neighbour is an immature idiot and the boyfriend's reply is equally immature , he's letting the neighbour know that he's planning sex with you again so he can 'join in'

Always got to be "amused" by posters who assume because they can suppress their vocalisations everyone else on the planet can. Of course, these posters are the basic template from which all other humans are made 🙄. People are different, build a bridge.

😂😂 this.

Love it! 😂

I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's your own fault for being so loud! Lots of threads I've seen on here about loud sex neighbours and many posters have suggested dropping letters, making noise during etc to embarass them or make uncomfortable so they are quiet. That's what the neighbour has done.

As your your partners reply depends on the context. If its "hope you're looking forward to round 2 later" then he's a creep. If it was "oops, we'll try make sure you don't hear round 2" then thats probably him slightly embarrassed trying to laugh it off/apologise.

Id love to know the secret to silent orgasms

Bite a pillow 😂

Op he sounds immature. A man who thinks you’re a notch on his bedpost or getting laid is something to brag about with the lads.

Either make this clear and get an apology or dump.

I’d go home and text him that I hope he enjoyed himself as that was the final round. Then block and move on. He’s already showing you the kind of person he is.

Ok the reply indicates it was you making all the noise that he heard, so yeah you should be embarrassed.

Immature. Disrespectful. Massive ick.

I’m surprised OP that you think being discussed in such a derogatory manner is acceptable?
Im disgusted on your behalf . Your boyfriend has serious boundary issues

That's grim and would piss me off. Very immature and disrespectful.

I think tbh they have never had sex.
Sounding they have never had sex!
Someone needs to lighten up and it’s not OP.

👏this

Their behaviour is somewhere on a continuum with this behaviour:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/oct/23/i-stood-up-and-fought-back-how-revenge-porn-survivor-georgia-harrison-got-her-abuser-jailed

Not the same, but same energy

You won’t be the first women this happens to or the last , and o means in that room in that bed with that bf.
I bet this is an on going joke with him and neighbour , been Spielberg about face to face in the past as you don’t just randomly message your neighbour straight after sex.
The fact bf thinks this is acceptable and funny is disgusting . Also he did respected you many times over I’d say .

You should be honest and end it by telling him exactly why .

Unacceptable. Ditch. This is the beginning of 'laddish - it's only a joke' crap.

TomatoSandwiches that is the best thing I’ve ever read on here!

Boundary pushing indeed. There are red flags and warning klaxons all over this, not least some very murky questions surrounding the issue of consent.

If he's a new partner, that makes it easy. He's telling you who he is. Believe him the first time.

The new boyfriend and the neighbour have made you feel degraded. I would be so grossed out.

As for making noises during orgasm. Of course you kinda can be quieter if you have to be, but it really affects the strength of the orgasm if I have to try and not make a noise. It's a bloody shame if you can never let yourself get a bit noisy at your actual moment of climax when there's noone else in the house.
Other people need to mind their own business a bit. Stop flattering yourselves that loud sex is always a performance

First time I’ve ever said this in my life but…that would give me the ick 😝

Boundary pushing- next time he’ll invite the neighbour over too

I think that’s a stretch.

Far more likely that he’s a guy in his twenties who got a bit giddy and excited that you’re interested in having sex with him and felt chuffed when his mate (who sounds a bit of a dick) congratulated him.

Men do confide in each other about women they’re going out with. Maybe he’s been asking his neighbour whether he thinks you’re interested in him etc.

I think you should have made it clear at the time how disrespected you felt.

Tell him what he’s done wrong. It was massively misjudged and his “Get in my son!” attitude to sex is disrespectful.
His peacocking is embarrassing.

That’s a no from me, he sounds like an overgrown teenager.