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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about what happened this weekend

181 replies

Onthedownlow9 · 23/10/2023 00:01

I was staying over at a new partners house over the weekend. I know he’s really good mates with the man who lives next door to him. After we had sex I saw he was laughing and smirking whilst reading his text messages and he did end up showing me them but I feel disgusted. Basically his neighbour was saying he heard our ‘session’ and sent messages such as ‘go on😈’ and some other weird things. I feel like a piece of meat and don’t appreciate that they were discussing it over text? Aibu? Do I need to lighten up?

OP posts:
fridaynight1 · 23/10/2023 02:30

He and his neighbour are dicks.
I’d be mortified that his neighbour/s could hear you. If you do decide to give your partner another chance, I wouldn’t be having sex within earshot again. Your place next time?

Mydogmybestfriend · 23/10/2023 02:39

Urgh how immature

Cecilisacaterpillar · 23/10/2023 02:40

Eww, the smirking at his phone would have given me the instant ick once I knew what he was smirking at, he's sleazy and puerile Envy (definitely not envy) I really hope you bin him OP, you deserve to be treated with more respect than he's capable of Flowers

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/10/2023 02:46

Yuck.

I have heard my neighbours at it occasionally, havent we all at some point? Especially with close living and shit sound insulation. But to do that shows that not only is the neighbour a creep, this guy is also. And the fact he finds it funny would have my vagina closed so fast you would hear the clang from Texas.

Throw this one back and when he asks why, tell him that you are glad that him and his neighbour enjoyed the sex, as it will be the last time either of them get to experience it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/10/2023 02:48

RE Orgasming silently........deep breathing. Its like yawning, not silent but not screaming, you let out the pressure but without the noise! You know like shouty whispering? That!

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/10/2023 02:50

Wingedharpy · 23/10/2023 00:22

Who was making the noise OP?

Unfortunately, I hear my next door neighbour having sex when his girlfriend stays over - but it's her making the racket, not him.

No need for screaming and shrieking IMHO - especially if you're in a terraced house.

Faking it.....

Ime the worse the sex, the more the noise.

Starzinsky · 23/10/2023 03:12

Not clear to me whether your partner responded with anything inappropriate.

FloofCloud · 23/10/2023 03:24

That's pretty grim, but sone men are very basic and childish

ShatteredPeace · 23/10/2023 03:33

Ugh that would be it for me.

Dustyblue · 23/10/2023 03:48

No, you don't need to lighten up, he needs to grow up.

RantyAnty · 23/10/2023 03:57

They both think you're a piece of meat.
Hope you havent shared any sexy photos with him.
Dump

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 23/10/2023 04:38

No that is awful and would be the end for me. Out of respect for you dp should have simply apologised to neighbour and not engaged in any further messages. Sounds like this has happened before and they have had a laugh about it

Saggypants · 23/10/2023 04:42

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 23/10/2023 01:34

I don't have children.

I've found that I can keep quiet until the moment of climax, but then my vocal cords engage whether I want them to or not.

Show quote history

I reckon you'd figure it out pretty quickly if there was a teenager in the next room.

SwingTheMonkey · 23/10/2023 04:51

But there wasn’t a child or a teenager in the house as far as I’m aware? Why shouldn’t op make noise if she wanted to?

The OP is about the partner and neighbour messaging about the sex like a pair of teenagers. Not weather op should have been
quieter.

ElleCapitaine · 23/10/2023 04:59

Saggypants · 23/10/2023 04:42

I reckon you'd figure it out pretty quickly if there was a teenager in the next room.

Show quote history

Nobody cares whether you make noise or not. That isn’t the point of the thread. Create your own and stop trying to derail this one.

OP, your boyfriend is an immature creep and that would definitely put me off him. You should at least tell him how you feel and that you’re very uncomfortable with him discussing your sex life with the neighbour. I’d struggle to get past this, I think.

Fifireee · 23/10/2023 05:02

Sorry that seems awful.

Nonplusultra · 23/10/2023 05:04

How a man behaves after sex is crucial to understanding both his character and the way he sees your relationship.

Before sex he’s going to be on his best behaviour. What he’s like after is the key.

widowtwankywashroom · 23/10/2023 05:13

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 23/10/2023 01:34

I don't have children.

I've found that I can keep quiet until the moment of climax, but then my vocal cords engage whether I want them to or not.

Show quote history

Well the presence of children tends to ensure you're quiet.

Zanatdy · 23/10/2023 05:27

Well he can’t help the first message and assume you were both making noise - but he can help how he responded. A big fat no from me to seeing him again

Hearmenow23 · 23/10/2023 05:35

It's depends on what was in the messages during the discussion, which you haven't said.

It just seems that he received a message from his neighbour saying he could hear you having sex. I don't think that's bad. He was smirking as it was embarrassing and his mate was trying to be light hearted about it. It depends on what the text convo said.

JaneAustensHeroine · 23/10/2023 06:25

Yet again a poster who manages to make the boyfriend’s behaviour a reflection of the OP’s self-respect. So tedious 🙄

@Aquamarine1029 Why are you always so angry with women? Always so bloody nasty.

LoudSnoringDog · 23/10/2023 06:29

Gross

would give me the instant ick. This is the behaviour of 16 year old boys who have just discovered sex

ChaToilLeam · 23/10/2023 06:32

Uurgh. This is Beavis and Butthead territory. I’d bin him.

Frasers · 23/10/2023 06:46

Yes disrespectful but who was making so much noise the neighbours could hear it clearly, was it you, as if so then you’re both in the wrong and as bad as each other.

Justleaveitblankthen · 23/10/2023 06:49

TomatoSandwiches · 23/10/2023 00:16

If you see the next door neighbour let him know you're sorry about the noise but it was your bfs first go at getting pegged.

Then leave the smirking bastard.

I would absolutely do this.
I would slip a note through his neighbour's door even (if he lives alone 😬)
Then block the disrespectful Git you slept with.