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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need some reassurance that I'm not crazy...

263 replies

ScaredMamaLondon · 21/10/2023 20:33

Hello,
I am a Jewish mum of two small children.
I think I'm posting on here to get a reassurance that there are some good people in this world. I am terrified to be openly Jewish in this country at the moment and I am terrified for my children's future here. This week I was told by a nanny agency 'it will be very difficult to get a nanny to work for a jewish family'. The security patrolling makes me feel nauseous; my neighbour's son attends a jewish school and was kicked on the bus for his obviously jewish school uniform. We aren't obviously Jewish 'looking' - we are not religious but yet I don't feel at all safe. The pro-Palestinian rally today threw up pictures of burning stars of davids (the antizionism isn't antisemitism thing is basically an excuse for saying what you like about jews and getting away with it). Red paint splattered over local jewish primary schools (again if it's not antisemitism, what do we have to do with it) and on top of all of this, the sinking, dismal feeling that in Israel, the only place as a Jew I would imagine feeling safe, 1300+ civilians were massacred in their beds/kidnapped/gang raped/worse.

I feel sick. I feel we are utterly hated here and unsafe there.

When I see videos of TFL tube drivers joining in with palestinian chants as if its a football anthem and flags of Jihad being waved in London I do wonder if I've missed something here. At the recent vigil for the Israeli victims people stood in silence. Singing. Crying. Praying for peace. And today I witness the complete opposite. I didn't see one mention of peace. I only saw hatred.

Half my family are NHS doctors and surgeons. Teachers. Proud of our Jewishness and proud of our Britishness. Why is it as a Jewish person in the UK i feel so utterly isolated and depressed? Many clients and non jewish friends have sent wonderful messages of support so perhaps it is just the vocal minority but it's a scary one nonetheless. AIBU in thinking that life is completely terrifying right now?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
nocoolnamesleft · 24/10/2023 22:54

What really bemuses me is that the Hamas apologists, sorry, I mean Palestinian supporters, don't seem to acknowledge that the main reason for Hamas committing such appalling atrocities upon Israelis on 7th October was that they desperately and fervently wanted the Israeli government to launch a major counterattack against Hamas, and thus Palestine. Hamas doesn't just not care about the Palestinian people, its leaders deliberately and calculatedly did everything in their power to put them in harm's way. At least the Israeli government wants to protect its own people.

I cannot endorse Israel's actions. Because whilst numbers of dead are disputed, it is clear that the Palestinian dead include young children who cannot be a threat. But I can understand why a nation basically populated by the survivors of pogroms and holocaust is going to react violently to over a thousand civilians being murdered so viciously that even the number of dead remains unclear, with people who were burned alive left fused together (yes, I viewed the highly disturbing pathology information linked to higher up and to my medical eye it looked sickeningly real). It just adds to the tragedy that the actions Israel are taking, some of which I suspect are war crimes (you can choose whether to call Hamas's actions a war crime or a terrorist atrocity, or both), are playing precisely into Hamas's hands, by creating a fertile breeding ground for support from suspect regimes, and for the recruitment of the next generation.

And yes, some of the pro Palestinian rallies have been chilling. Before Israel mounted it's response, there were pro Palestinian rallies literally celebrating the massacre of Jewish civilians. In marches, there have been chants and flags celebrating Hamas, demanding the obliteration of Israel, and threatening Jewish people. It isn't everyone on those demonstrations, some are innocently trying to promote the safety of Palestinian civilians. But it is enough to explain the fear felt by Jewish people in this, and other, countries.

And the knock on effect felt by Jews the world over is yet an other negative knock on effect, as ripples spread outwards. And it is an effect that Hamas may or may not have predicted, but would definitely celebrate.

I want both sides (okay, everyone in the world would be better!) to be able to live in peace and safety. I want children to be safe in their beds. And in their schools. I want access to education, and healthcare, and all the essentials of life. I want everyone to recognise the basic humanity of others. And I want Jewish people in the UK to be able to learn, and work, and relax, and socialise, and worship, without anyone blaming them for the actions of a foreign government over which they have no control.

(Conflict of Interest: Christian)

Whatonearth07957 · 24/10/2023 23:02

I'm so sorry. It's truly awful. I stand with you but I'm a silent majority... We are here and if I see anything anti Semitic I will act and speak out against it.

etmoietmoietmoi · 24/10/2023 23:30

the main reason for Hamas committing such appalling atrocities upon Israelis on 7th October was that they desperately and fervently wanted the Israeli government to launch a major counterattack against Hamas, and thus Palestine

@nocoolnamesleft Yup, they got freaked with the potential of a peace agreement with Saudi Arabia. So they set Netanyahu a trap, he's walked straight into it head first, et voila, the world turns on Israel.

It just adds to the tragedy that the actions Israel are taking, some of which I suspect are war crimes (you can choose whether to call Hamas's actions a war crime or a terrorist atrocity, or both), are playing precisely into Hamas's hands, by creating a fertile breeding ground for support from suspect regimes, and for the recruitment of the next generation.

Agree.

petuniasandpetals · 25/10/2023 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fernticket · 25/10/2023 14:32

@nocoolnamesleft Well said.

gowiththeflooww · 25/10/2023 23:02

ScaredMamaLondon · 23/10/2023 13:51

@Whatifitallgoesright This is an utterly bizarre response. Knew there would be a few of these today. I'm hoping it's down to ignorance rather than entrenched antisemitism.

Can my 'community' please exert its 'influence' over the 'atrocious acts in Gaza'. And then we will stop being punished here?Because we are only the victims of antisemitism because of the Israeli government?

I am appalled.

What a statement. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Would I - a Jewish teacher from North London be able to singlehandedly manage a ceasefire.
Let me put it a different way.

Could the millions and millions of Muslims around the world exert their influence and tell Hamas to release hostages, stop shooting at jewish people day in day out with their f*ing rockets? While they're at it could they tell Hamas they've broken every ceasefire ever and maybe that might be why Israel won't be bothering with one anytime soon - not until they've destroyed the brutal murderers who massacred as many civilians as possible. You don't mention this. Would that combat Islamophobia too?

So before I, that very very influential Jewish person from North London, starts exerting my influence over the IDF, why don't you start holding Muslims accountable for their terrorists and war crimes too?

That last question was rhetorical by the way. I wouldn't expect Muslims here to feel they need to condemn the actions of Hamas every eight seconds. But hopefully highlights the utter disgrace of this comment.

As I said, I hope this is comment is just down to ignorance. Disgusted.

Gosh OP you seem to read into things a lot. @Whatifitallgoesright was sympathising with you and the reply she received back was that you're disgusted.

gowiththeflooww · 25/10/2023 23:03

Whatifitallgoesright · 23/10/2023 13:40

I'm so sorry you are feeling such fear. It is so wrong. I feel like writing to the local Jewish organisation and just saying I support them and feel sympathy but it feels such a useless thing to do. It must be so stressful and frightening for your family and Jewish friends and my thoughts are with you. Please keep posting on here. People ARE with you.

For context this was @Whatifitallgoesright post

ScaredMamaLondon · 26/10/2023 07:49

Oh my goodness @gowiththeflooww why are you arriving on here five days later just to have a go at me? Do you have anything better to do? Just an excuse to have a go at me? Sounds like some of the other unpleasant people on this thread. It was not that message I was responding to and if it looked that way or was a mistake on my part I sincerely apologise.
The message I was responding to was the one that asked me as a Jew to exert my influence over the Israeli government because if foreign policy suddenly changed I wouldn’t suffer from antisemitism as much in this country (absurd) which I called out. I think everyone else here saw the point I was making which was essentially the utter stupidity of that point and also how I would never ask a Muslim to in any way be held accountable for the actions of Hamas (although many, it appears, do support Hamas and show that support to the whole world in demos)
thanks so much for jumping on to a thread a few days late just to tell me how awful I am. With all due respect, go and get a life.

OP posts:
gowiththeflooww · 26/10/2023 11:23

Wow you're a delightful person who isn't filled with anger.

A kinder response would have been to just apologise for the mistake.

Lolapusht · 26/10/2023 11:48

gowiththeflooww · 26/10/2023 11:23

Wow you're a delightful person who isn't filled with anger.

A kinder response would have been to just apologise for the mistake.

Come on OP…”be kind”! 🙄😡

@gowiththeflooww in the kindest way possible, please do one. OP doesn’t need to be chastised for not behaving in a way you feel acceptable. Unsurprisingly, they’ve got one or two more important things on their mind at the moment.

gowiththeflooww · 26/10/2023 12:11

Everyone has things going on with their lives not just OP and it doesn't hurt anyone to be kind especially when she's previously noted other posters rudeness and not liked it.

Have a good day.

Americano75 · 26/10/2023 12:39

I couldn't even read your full post, I just can't believe we're back here again.

ganondoof · 26/10/2023 14:00

gowiththeflooww · 26/10/2023 12:11

Everyone has things going on with their lives not just OP and it doesn't hurt anyone to be kind especially when she's previously noted other posters rudeness and not liked it.

Have a good day.

Why should she be kind in response to anti-Semetic comments like Jewish people need to exert their influence to end what's happening on Gaza?

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