To ask why there is an extra child in my house?

[SusanTheShocked]

My daughter’s (9 years old) friend from school just turned up at my house. My DH answered the door as I was in the bath and her dad dropped her off.

My partner assumed I’d made plans and didn’t tell him…but I didn’t make plans. I assume dd did, but didn’t tell me? I don’t want to say anything as they are playing nicely and I don’t want to make the girl feel bad, though I will be having a word with dd later.

I have the mums phone number and need to message her as I’m not sure what’s happening/when she’s being picked up etc.

I need some advice on how to word the message to the mother in a way that doesn’t make it seem like I’m unhappy she is here, but letting her know that I had no idea this was happening.

(For context I am very socially awkward so worrying about how to word this probably more than I should be)

But you should be mortified! You should rush to go get your kid! You didn't organise any play date in this scenario.

this thread is INSANE. On what planet do you drop your 9 year old off at a random house without speaking to any adult about it? Without agreeing it wiht one of the parents? "Oh the dd organised it"....what? The DD may have asked her friend, but she hardly called the parents to confirm it with them!

WTF is all this about? Bonkers, the whole thread. The casualness, the silly little texts with fake tinkly laugh...someone left a random youngish kid at OP's house with no arrangement at all....wtf?

babetyouknow · Today 11:44
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Twentypastfour · 21/10/2023 15:19
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Yes, that’s awful. If I were to receive that text as a parent I would be MORTIFIED, rush to collect my child ASAP and probably try to avoid play dates with the family again because of my embarrassment!
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I think it really doesn’t need to be a big deal.
Show quote history
But you should be mortified! You should rush to go get your kid! You didn't organise any play date in this scenario.
**
this thread is INSANE. On what planet do you drop your 9 year old off at a random house without speaking to any adult about it? Without agreeing it wiht one of the parents? "Oh the dd organised it"....what? The DD may have asked her friend, but she hardly called the parents to confirm it with them!
**
WTF is all this about? Bonkers, the whole thread. The casualness, the silly little texts with fake tinkly laugh...someone left a random youngish kid at OP's house with no arrangement at all....wtf?

I said the same further up the thread and I must live in a totally different world. They are 9!

I’m with you, I don’t think your message is rude and I’d probably send something similar. Maybe we should be rude friends! 😂

Sorry I meant to quote you.

@All2Well I would have said exactly what you typed almost word for word tbh! I don’t think it’s rude at all, I think it’s very strange that a 9 year olds parents would drop them off at somebodies house without a conversation between the parents at all, and although it’s fine with the OP, I wouldn’t be happy to have to potentially plan my day around a child I hadn’t invited and didn’t know was coming, no matter how nice they are. And I do think it should be mentioned just in case it becomes a habit!

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

And so you should be!! Any parent who lands at someone else’s house to drop their kid off without prior arrangement with the other child’s parent is NOT ok!! Why should your feelings be spared if you’re rude enough to just go to someone’s house and say here my kid said your kid invited them so here they are?? You don’t flipping do that 🤦🏼‍♀️ Wait for a parent invite on behalf of their child, don’t take a kids word for it because they arrange play dates all the time among themselves in school. I’d never even be cheeky enough to text and say hi my kid said your kid invited them over when can I drop them off!! Man wtf is wrong with people they can’t see how wrong this whole embarrassing situation is 🤣