aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

Thanks for your reply, but I'd be interested to hear what the person I originally quoted has to say, seeing as she posted the either/or scenario.

My understanding is that the differences are observable at a population level, but that the difference for individuals is not really that big a deal at all.

I bf exclusively for 6 months and carried on until dd was nearly 3, so no vested interest in arguing for formula.

I do, however, have an interest in women feeling free to make choices about their own bodies and not being made to feel unnecessarily shit about themselves.

@x2boys Your posts aren't logical.

Unless everyone posting is a robot, then we are real people in the real world.

The point of a forum, partly, is it's anon.

People can ask questions and make points they may not make in RL for fear of offending the other person.

That doesn't mean it's not real life.
It means it's an anon forum where people post their opinions.

These threads always make me laugh with the posters going on about what a faff FF is.

I imagine a late night informercial with an incompetent mum struggling to put a scoop of formula into a bottle while the baby is crying and the kettle is whistling and then of course the bottle going flying and she's standing there somehow covered in a whole tin of formula and shrugging her shoulders while looking at the camera and shaking her head... ''If only there was an easier way!!!"

Do what you think is best and what will work for your family OP.

OP it's completely your choice, choose whatever you decide is best for you and your baby. Don't be pressurised into anything (and I've seen that go both ways - women being shamed for not breast feeding and also other women who were struggling in the early days with breastfeeding being told to quit and to bottle feed by well-meaning but often misinformed family and friends).

The points @fliptopbin makes are misinformed. I won't bother addressing them here as I think you are set on not breastfeeding and that's fine. But that doesn't mean these kind of beliefs are true.

There is so much more to being a good mother than whether or not you breastfed.

If only life was that simple 😟

Of course. Because I wanted to get pregnant.

I don't want to breastfeed which is the difference.

Only on Mumsnet do I find people so opinionated about feeding babies. In the real world I found no one really gave a shit, healthcare professionals included.

Genuinely I never spoke to anyone about it at baby groups or amongst friends. It just wasn’t something we discussed, despite all making different choices.

So they get access that suits you? Good luck with that one.

Of course you’re not! Agree with others that if you can manage for the first few days that’s beneficial in terms of immunities but if citrate it’s entirely your choice.

Our daughter chose not to and her 3 year old is big, healthy and very bright.

How odd, pretty much every mother I know has chatted about/discussed feeding plans/options/challenges.

I have 4 dc , first 2 were ff from the start. 3rd was very prem and I expressed and the 4th was bf for 3 years.

Your body , your choice. There's absolutely no difference between my last dc and his ff brothers.

Can the women here who don't want to breastfeed, make their case for that choice?

Because I can't understand why someone wouldn't want to give their child the best start and out their own 'feelings' first.

I just don't get it.

Do you genuinely think a probiotic yoghurt and a milkshake are the same?

Formula has no gut bacteria. Guy bacteria is a massive part of the body's functioning. We are only understanding it now.

Do you genuinely think zero immunity is just the same as having immunity?

Do you really think cow's milk has the same nutritional structure as human milk?

If a woman can't for physical or mental reasons, then it is what it is, but it is delusional to think one is 'almost identical' to the other.

People might have an opinion about BF, they have an opinion over everything the minute you get pregnant, but it does not last.

By the time they start school, competitive and pushing mothers will have long forgotten about "natural" birth, "breastfeeding" but found something else to get agitated about.

(I am only talking about the people having an opinion over subjects that are none of their business.
Beastfeed, don't breastfeed, have a natural birth, choose pain killer, choose or be forced to have a c-section...it's up to you, I am not judging and I am not asking for opinion over MY choices 😂)

"It's best for my child but I don't want to do it"

You do realise that you're meant to put your child before yourself, right?

Our daughter chose not to and her 3 year old is big, healthy and very bright.

There are longer term health outcomes like obesity, allergies and diabetes.

No one can make a call on a child aged 3.

Is this be cause you are interrogating them on their feeding choices ...

huh?
you are making no sense

I was born when breastfeeding was discouraged.

My mother thought it was disgusting anyway.

I was fed with formula (such as it was then) and cows' milk.

I'm fine.

Use formula if you want to. My sister just had her baby and choose to FF from day 3 because she hated BF. It has had the added bonus of her DP doing half the feeds now.

The WHO recommends exclusive BF for the first 6 months but according to the NHS Infant Feeding Survey in 2010 only 1% of women in the UK do this. Given this, I think the pressure on women to BF is actually incredibly cruel. The NHS doesn't seem to consider the guilt/shame/sorrow they cause for mothers who don't/can't BF.

From the stats in the above survey, you'd actually be in the majority to use formula after 1 week.

I chose not to BF but I sure as hell don't need to explain myself to you!
Who do you think you are?

My decision to FF does not impact you in anyway so I suggest you just worry about your own kids.

Why should they?
You don't have to get it because quite frankly its none of your business .

What an absurd comment.
We chatted about a whole host of things at toddler groups, clinic etc. I think most of the time it was others who raised the topic with me tbh - I rarely offered a view on it, but if asked would say something like 'I wanted to at least try, and see how it went'.